


Heart Or Hospital

by orphan_account



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Gen, I kind of spun a wheel when it came to Joe, M/M, Patrick's profession comes from the character he played on an episode of 'House M.D', considering re-writing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-03-23 01:50:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 44,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13777164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: From the day that I met you, I knew that I would love you 'til the day I died.I'm re-writing this and it may be posted with a new name. Details in latest update/chapter 30





	1. one

Med. Technician Patrick Stump's daily schedule typically consists of analyzing dozens of different specimens, recording results of said analysis, keeping the lab instruments clean enough to use and see through properly and sometimes it even comes down to Patrick having to be the one to collect a body fluid sample. None of that even makes him flinch. It's nothing short of what he expected to have to do when he went into training for the job. If he was going to be a pussy about it, he likely wouldn't have even entertained the thought of going into the profession- but he did, because, obviously, Patrick Martin Vaughn Stump was NOT a pussy. At least he never thought so.

Spending his whole career in the lab most heavily used for Andromeda Research Hospital's emergency and trauma center has prepared him for pretty much anything that could appear under his microscope and sometimes on his scrubs. And while working odd hours and always putting himself in a position to be availible for any call was definitely no walk in the park, he managed it. Because quite honestly, he loved his job. He would never trade it for the world

\---

By mid-shift Patrick has already analyzed and collected data on roughly 12 different samples from different patients. It's all in a day's work and he's nowhere near being cleared to clock out quite yet, especially as of current since he's expecting one of the paramedics to show up for a bottle of Windex from the broom closet in his lab since this week has been nice out, meaning that it's the perfect time for ambulance maintenance. 

And since it's all up to the people who use them to take care of them because they belong to the hospital's very own ambulance service, they're of course the ones who make trips up to the lab for cleaning supplies. 

The broom closet in the lab that Patrick mains is the only one that tends to stay stocked constantly since funds for things like cleaning supplies are relatively low at the time due to the fact that Andromeda invested in an extension for the Lung care center recently. But Patrick personally doesn't mind this, and in fact enjoys the fact that he often gets to make small-talk with whoever's taking from the inventory. It's nice to know his co-workers, even the ones he isn't in direct contact with all day. More often than not, the paramedic retrieving cleaning supplies is Adam Lazzara, who always makes a point to talk to Patrick when he's up there since, in his words, 'it's gotta' be pretty boring staring at bacteria all day'. Patrick knows he's joking and is never offended by it, but he does make it a point to remind Adam that 'staring at bacteria' isn't the half of what he does on a regular basis.

Patrick's eyeballing a suspicious blood sample that the doctor who ordered the tests believes could be contaminated with a septic infection when he hears footsteps. Right now, he's all alone in the lab since his co-workers are either in other labs, collecting samples or on break. 

He assumes that the footsteps are Adam's considering that the sound of them is near identical to the ones he always hears before coming face-to-face with him, and they're definitely heavier than those of the EMT who's occasionally sent up, Alex Suarez. 

"Hey, Adam," Patrick says before looking up, "closet's unlocked." Patrick pauses for a second and doesn't get a reply, which is rather concerning, so he looks up. "Adam, what's-" once Patrick's looking up and towards the door, he realizes that the man standing there isn't Adam nor Alex, but a dark-haired man with a pair of striking blue eyes he can't recall ever seeing before, and he seemed to be a little shorter than the other two he's used to encountering. "You're definitely not Adam." Patrick laughs, correcting himself.

"No shit." the other replies sarcastically with a slight laugh as he rolls his eyes. 

This man's smart-ass tone definitely tests Patrick's own tendency to get witty, and, well, smart-assey every now and then and his sarcasm sure does make for a memorable first impression.

"Then who are you, not-Adam?" he asks, crossing his arms, "And are you even an EMT?" he knows that this guy definitely is an EMT, of course, but he wants to see how he'll react when he questions his position- besides, he doesn't even know this guy, so it's not like a friendship or anything is at stake, but Patrick does get the slight impression that he could joke around with this guy.

"Well, I'm not wearing this jacket for the fashion of it." he shrugs. 

Patrick scoffs. Any mention of fashion immediately makes him think of his best friend, Pete, who's always trying to spice up his own wardrobe with embroidered jackets and statement coats. "I know someone who would."

"Yeah?" he laughs, "But my name's Joe," he replies, pulling his jacket out, on the inside an ID card is clipped carefully onto a small loop, revealing his name, certification and other useful insight you'd expect from someone in his position. "Joe Trohman, and, yeah, I'm an actual EMT, I'm just, uh, kinda' new here, I moved from Ohio earlier this month and just started working here last week."

"Congratulations." Patrick replies, "So, did you come here for Windex or not?" Patrick fears he may have been a little too passive.

"Mostly." Joe shrugs, "But what's your name, might I ask?" he knows his name already- Adam told him, of course, but he has to keep up the charade that he hasn't been pining all morning. 'What a sap' his brother, Sam was probably going to say once he hears about the latest adventures in Joe's love life.

"Patrick." he says as he walks over to the broom closet. "Patrick Stump, certified Medical Technician."

"So..." Joe trails off, "You look for bacteria in blood samples n' shit? That's rather sexy."

"Most of the time," Patrick says with a scoff as he picks up a new bottle of Windex and closes the broom closet door. "sometimes I have to take the samples myself, sometimes I even have to be the one to tell patients what's going on inside of them." Patrick hands the bottle of Windex over to Joe and smiles before pushing his glasses back up. "Here you go."

Joe takes the bottle in his hands, though he seems rather zoned out to Patrick all of a sudden, staring at either Patrick's desk or Patrick. Or maybe both. He can't quite tell.

"Hey?" he asks, raising an eyebrow. 

"Yeah?" Joe replies, shaking his head as he comes back to earth, only then noticing the bottle in his hand. "Thanks."

"Uh, no problem.. You.. Okay?"

"Yeah!" Joe laughs, "Yeah, I do that, don't worry about it, man."

"Hope you don't do that on your job." Patrick says with a smirk. His face then turns serious when he realizes Joe isn't laughing. Wrong move, much? "Dude, oh God, I didn't really mean-"

"I don't, nah." Joe replies with a smile. "Hey, Patrick? It was really nice talking to you, and uh, thanks for this, by the way, Adam would've kicked my ass if I went back empty-handed." 

Joe stood there telling nothing but the absolute truth- in fact, Adam actually sent Joe solely because earlier in the day, Joe caught a glimpse of Patrick walking into work right before he left for a call and decided that today that'd be his topic of interest. Adam apparently got tired of him going on about Patrick, (who's name Adam eventually told Joe) and decided to just send him up for a bottle of window cleaner, not realizing that Patrick was probably the one he'd encounter, meaning his plan would backfire greatly and once Joe talked to Patrick, he'd probably never shut up. Poor Adam.

Now, Joe didn't believe in first sight, but he did find the dirty blonde technician rather attractive and spent the rest of the time from then on just secretly hoping that maybe, just maybe, Patrick was into men too, because Joe was damn certain of his strong attraction towards the same gender.

But, of course, Joe wasn't going to force anything on Patrick if he knew he was uncomfortable with it- that's not the way he operates by no means, but it's still definitely worth a shot, a shot that he seems to have fucked up already by zoning out and immediately resorting to the more witty side of his personality. 

Zoning out is actually something that Joe only does on the rare occasion, because most of the time, despite his laid-back aura, he's incredibly alert, even off of the job. It did seem a lot easier to just tell Patrick that it was a normal thing he did, of course, because he'd seem like a real loser to just come out and say that he zoned out because he was caught up in Patrick's every-so-beautiful baby blue eyes, now wouldn't he? As for the wittiness, something inside of him told him it'd be okay- and it was probably right, because Patrick really didn't seem to be the type to take himself too seriously, especially since he threw a witty reply right back at him. He feels comfortable with him already and is already looking forward to their next interaction.

"No problem!" Patrick replies, mentally exhaling a sigh of relief since his sly remark didn't actually offend Joe- he didn't want to piss him off already because from the brief interaction they've had so far, he seems like a really cool guy and he kind of hopes he sees him around again. He doesn't quite know that the feeling is mutual, but he can hope. "And yeah, I'm sure he would've." Realizing that he only gave Joe the bottle of Windex, though, he figures he probably should've given him something to wipe the windows with. "Hey, you need something to smear that Windex on with?" he asks, about to turn to the broom closet.

"Nah, we already took a few coffee filters from the cafeteria. They seem to work best with the windows, y'know?"

"True, yeah." Patrick replies. 

"Well, thanks again, Patrick." Joe says, holding up the Windex. "I should probably get back over to my job now before I'm sent out on a call, so.. See you around?"

"Sure!" Patrick chirps almost immediately- was that too bright? "And yeah, I hope so! It was cool talking to you, Joe."

Once Joe realizes the feeling of wanting to talk again was mutual, even if just as acquaintances, he can feel his heart start beating just a little faster. Of course, he's also laughing at himself because he's thirty-fucking-two and feels like a middle schooler having his first crush, and Patrick was far from his first. Try his hundredth. "You too." he says as he turns and leaves, making sure he's not facing Patrick when he starts smiling like an absolute idiot.

Patrick can't help but smile to himself. Something about Joe really reeled him in- it's almost like something clicked between them the minute they started throwing witty remarks at eachother. It feels rather nice, honestly and he'd definitely like to get to know him better. Patrick's friendly with everyone he encounters unless it's proven that he has to act otherwise, but of course there are people he's nicer to than others- his friends. Like Pete, his other best friend Travie and his roomate Andy- those were the 3 people he was closest to. Well, besides his mother. 

Of course, you can't force a friendship or general close-ness, but Patrick definitely wouldn't mind grabbing coffee sometime with Joe, or whatever he preferred. In fact, he finds himself considering it. It definitely could be something great.


	2. two [slide]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *EDIT!!!!!: 
> 
> I typed this together at 3 AM and now realize that a lot of sentences aren't coherent/line up. I've went back and fixed that, specifically the number part. So... If you've read this chapter I recommend reading it again. Sorry for the inconvenience 

"I don't get it.." Fred, the lab tech currently operating on the machine next to Patrick mumbles under his breath, "Her CBC is so normal, what could be causing all of these migraines?"

Patrick can't help but overhear and look over at him. "Have they taken blood marrow yet?

"Not yet," Fred replies, "I dunno.. I think I'm gonna' run it again to make sure before they result to that. Seems painful." 

Patrick nods. "I'm sure it is. Uh, good luck with that, I hope you find out soon." 

"Thanks, man."

Patrick returns to logging in results of a CSF analysis he'd been working on for what seemed like an hour. It was nice to finally get moving along with it in case he had to evaluate another sample before clocking out. 

Afterwards, the lab goes quiet. The only sound heard is a slight "A-ha." from a technician- probably Chislett- in the back of the lab for a good 10 minutes until there's a slight knocking on the door, which is already open. 

Patrick looks up and immediately recognizes him- it's Joe, returning with less than half a bottle of Windex. Once he notices this, he wonders why he even bothered to come back with such a small amount, but quickly drops the curiosity simply because he's kind of glad he's given another opportunity to talk to him today.

"Hey, I'm back." Joe says as he holds up the bottle. 

"Hey," Patrick smiles as he approaches him. "got those windows cleaned?" it's only after he says that when he realizes how lame it probably sounded. 

Joe laughs slightly. Normally, he wouldn't have thought to bring the Windex back, but he just came back to the hospital after a call and saw the bottle laying in the dirt bed (that would soon hold grass) outside of the trauma entrance and decided to take it back as an excuse to see Patrick again. He's tired and kind of shaken from the call considering that the patient went into full-blown seizures not only once, but twice during transportation and his longing to be around Patrick only increased when he actually talked to him earlier.

As for the call? That was a typical day, though, which was probably why Joe, along with the other ambulance personnel as he would suspect took Xanax after every shift. 

"Some of them, I guess." he replies, "It's getting dark, though." 

Patrick blinks. Was it already getting dark? "Oh, wow.. But, uh, thanks. You know who to ask when you need a good 'ol fashioned bottle of Windex." resulting to humor was one of Patrick's many defenses against a conversation going flat and he can tell that Joe appreciates his sense of humor already, but the rest of the lab probably think he sounds like a complete weirdo and are likely snickering behind his back about how 'friendly' he seems to be getting with the new EMT.

Joe hands the bottle to Patrick and smiles. Oh, he'd definitely be hitting him up for Windex again. After their interaction earlier that day, he finds it a lot easier to approach him that he thought, even if he does currently have dark circles under his eyes and dried vomit from an earlier patient on his shirt. But he's sure that Patrick and the other technicians have probably seen a lot of things before. No big deal. 

Patrick smiles back. Their blue eyes make contact and it's then that Patrick realizes maybe he isn't drawn to Joe as just a potential friend- possibly something more. Either way, he isn't going to let him be a missed chance for either of those things and decides that it's time to take action and assert that he truly does want to talk to him more. Everyone says that, but does everyone mean it? Of course not! But Patrick does, he knows he does, and he wants to make sure that Joe knows that too. "What's your number?" he asks before realizing the whole lab is probably staring at him. He blushes before catching himself so he doesn't already seem like he's desperately pining- which he isn't, or maybe he is at this point... "You know, so I can, uh, text you.... 'Cause Sometimes we have to have the lab locked up..." That's a lie. The lab is hardly ever completely locked up because it constantly has to be accesible by doctors and of course, other personnel. But as he suspects, Joe's kind of too zapped to realize what a lie it is. He just hopes nobody calls him out on it and fucks up his move. "I have Adam and Alex's numbers for that reason.." he then adds. That's also a lie, but surely it won't concern him too much to ask th two mentioned about it.

It takes Joe a second to realize that he isn't completely out there and having auditory hallucinations or something- Patrick really just asked for his number. His heart starts doing that stupid fast thumping thing that he fucking hates again until Patrick says that it's just related to interactions involving dumb lab lockdownd and stupid bottles of Windex and that he does this with everyone. It doesn't register that he probably only said that not to look like a smooth operator in front of his co-workers because very often does his mind jump to conclusions- this conclusion being that Patrick isn't into him that way. It's fine, though, at least he has interest in seeing him again. "Just give me your phone and I'll put it in if you're comfortable with that." he replies- he isn't about to give out his number in front of anyone who may want to text him at fuck thirty a.m and wake up his mother with loud ass notifications. 

"Uh, sure." Patrick says as he navigates to the 'new contact' screen and hands his phone over. He figures it'd be easier than straight up handing his phone to Joe and have to wait for him to find the contact button. 

Joe starts typing immediately. He puts a little rat emoji next to his name for whatever reason, (probably because 'Joe' simply put feels way too professional and boring) and hands Patrick his phone back. Patrick smiles and nods.

"Thanks. It's appreciated." the blonde nods.

"No problem." Joe replies. 

"I'll text You sometime." Patrick smiles. He seems to be doing that a lot today, but it isn't a bad thing. "Hear from you then?"" 

Joe nods and once again exits the lab. 

This time, Patrick can't afford to embarass himself further and smile like an idiot, but a playfully cocky voice from the back of the lab does the job for him.

"That's pretty gay, Stump, but also well played." 

"Mind your business, Tony." Patrick replies with a smirk as he heads to the closet to put away the ever-so-sacred Windex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cameos by Fred Mascharino (Ex-Taking Back Sunday) and Tony Thaxton (Ex-Motion City Soundtrack)!


	3. three

"You gave him your number, but you didn't ask for his?" Adam asks as he takes a drag from his cigarette while Joe tells him about his second meeting with Patrick.

"Dude, how oblivious are you!?" Alex asks with a laugh, backing Adam up as he sits on the edge of the back of the ambulance they just finished cleaning. "He wants to know you better- that's good!"

"He just asked so he can text me incase the lab's shut down or some shit." Joe mutters as he lights up a cigarette of his own. "No big deal, bet he finds me annoying already."

Adam can't help but laugh as he looks over at Alex, who joins in. 

Joe grows increasingly frustrated with the way his coworkers are poking fun at him.

"They never shut the lab down and Patrick doesn't even have my number." Adam says, thumping ashes off of his cigarette.

"Mine either." Alex shrugs. "Should've asked for his."

Joe huffs and rolls his eyes. If he weren't so embarassed over how dumb he had been earlier, he would actually begin to think about why Patrick might've asked for his number so soon- obviously it meant that he had an interest in texting or calling him, but for what reason? Of course he figured had to be personal, now that he knows that he hasn't asked neither Adam nor Alex for their numbers. The main question though was when. When was he going to text or call? Would Joe be prepared for that or would he trip over his own words trying to form a coherent sentence? That would be just his luck. Patrick's voice flowes so smoothly and Joe only finds himself even deeper in his infactuation with each interaction they have. Once again- what a sap.

Adam still lets out a chuckle over his team mate's idiocracy here and there as he continues smoking his cigarette. He just has to tell his wife, Misha about this. She'll definitely get a kick out of it.

Alex's attention is on his phone now- he's more than likely texting Ryland, the desk receptionist for the eye clinic connected to Andromeda. His and Alex's relationship seems to be up for pondering by the public eye- hell, not even their friends know just quite where they stand.. And neither do they, for that fact- all that anyone knows is that they like eachother a great deal and the possibilities of what could happen are endless when they're together. That was enough for them.

"You're waiting for him to text you, huh?" Adam finally asks as he's been watching Joe switch between looking at his phone for brief seconds and pacing around the ambulance parking garage. 

"Shut up." 

Alex smirks as he listens in on the conversation, his eyes still glued to the screen of his own phone.

After a few more drags, Adam puts out his cigarette and proceeds to crawl into the driver's seat of the ambulance that Alex is sitting in the back of. "I'm off to fuel this monster up." he says as he leans out the door and looks behind the ambulance. "Which one of you are coming with to the next call?"

Joe reluctantly raises his hand and heads towards the passenger seat as Alex hops out of the back and closes the doors. He knows they'll probably send Adam out before he makes it back to the hospital, so he might as well go ahead and crawl in to save Adam the task of having to come back to obtain an EMT.

As he crawls in and shuts the door, he doesn't say a word to Adam, who knows he'll probably talking before they hit the gas station considering that he can rarely keep his mouth shut for too long.

But Adam knows that atleast in the worst case scenario, all he has to do is offer to buy his passenger a bag of doritos or something. That'll get him talking again.

"Later." Alex says as he heads towards the door that leads back to the inside of the hospital so he doesn't get backed over when Adam pulls out the ambulance, which admittedly could be much bigger considering that it's only a type II. 

\----------------

During the entire drive home, Patrick finds himself contemplating when to shoot a friendly text to Joe. The cute little rat emoji is temping. It's already a friendly note saying that Joe finds Patrick approachable enough to leave a little piece of his own personality on the screen of his phone and he doesn't want to take advantage of that- but what's the point of having his number if he isn't going to use it? It's not like the lab actually has to shut down, so he won't need to actually alert him about it. Fuck. Maybe he should've given Joe his number instead. Half of the time, Patrick doesn't even know what's going through his own head.

When he gets home, he's greeted by his roomate, Andy, and his best friend, Pete, both sitting in the livingroom on their phones, more than likely texting eachother considering those two.

"Hey, Patrick." Andy says, looking up from his phone as he hears Patrick close the front door behind him. 

"Hey." Patrick replies as he pulls off his lanyard and tosses it on the coffee table, followed by his messenger bag. He then proceeds to pull his phone out of the bag and goes to the contact Joe left. He smiles at the cute rat emoji as his thumb hovers overs the text icon for a brief second. Why is he thinking about him so much? It's not like he wants to suck his dick or take him on a date or something like Tony from the lab suggested (albeit jokingly, probably). He's just very, very fond of his presence and wants to be around him some more. He likes the way their vibes clash if that makes sense.

"What's up?" Pete asks, looking up at Patrick.

"Nothing much from the ordinary." Patrick replies with a shrug, x-ing out of the screen and shoving his phone in his back pocket. That was partially a lie, but since when has he went on to his friends about meeting new strangers? Hardly ever until they're also his friend. But strangely enough, he finds himself wanting to talk about his new acquaintance. The acquaintance that he's so tempted to start texting right now. He can't help it. Joe made him smile. But he wasn't in love or anything.

"Oh, heads up, I gotta' leave for work in a few." Andy says, putting his phone down. "I'm closing up shop tonight, so.."

"Oh, okay." Patrick replies, trying to remember what Andy's occupation was now. His brain is definitely elsewhere, but that isn't the only reason he needs to take a second to recollect that certain fact- within the past year that they've been roomates, Andy's changed jobs atleast 3 times. Not due to getting fired or anything, but mostly because he just can't seem to sit still for too long. It doesn't seem to be much of a problem for Andy, though, because he seems to adapt just fine to whatever he shifts to next. 

And though it takes Patrick a second, he remembers that his roomate's currently working at Pet Smart as a 'whatever he's needed for' employee. 

"Yeah," Andy nods, "but it'll probably be 11 before I'm home. Carden and I are doing aquarium maintenance tonight."

"Oh, the fish?" Patrick's eyes widen. He loves sea creatures of all sorts, including the fish Andy works with, but he also has a fascination with endangered marine speicies. That's why he orignally wanted to be a marine biologist, but some things happened and he changed paths somewhere in college. 

"Well, last night Nate and Eric took care of the lizards, so I think so.. Unless Amber meant the hamsters."

"Either way, tell them I love them." Patrick smiles. 

Andy laughs softly as he gets up and heads to his room to start getting ready. "Will do." 

Patrick sits on the couch across from the one Pete's on and pulls out his phone. He thinks about Joe's contact once again, but decides not to and proceeds to his favorite app as of current-Animal Crossing: Pocket Camp. It's one of the many, many things he holds close to his heart and throws around the word 'love' about. There's a lot of things that Patrick 'loves' and he isn't afraid to throw it about lightly- love is a good thing. There's so much in this world to love, including Animal Crossing: Pocket Camp. Of course, in a few weeks he'll probably be over it and have fallen in 'love' with another app, but for now his favorite passtime is digitally building chairs and bookshelves for cute critters in exchange for their company.

"Animal Crossing wasn't what you were smiling about a few minutes ago, was it?" Pete asks with a smug smile on his face as he looks over at Patrick. It was fucking impossible to hide shit from Pete and he should've known that.

"What's it to you?" Patrick asks. Truly, what was it to him?

"Oh, not a thing." Pete shrugs, "I just figured that something else was making you happy besides a few pixelated animals."

Patrick rolls his eyes with a smirk. The only reason he doesn't want to talk about it to Pete is because he knows that Pete will act the same way Tony did, only seriously. Next thing he knew, Pete would have everyone convinced that Joe was Patrick's boyfriend even though in reality they've only spoken twice. 

"I'm off." Andy says as he comes back in the room and picks his phone up. "Love you."

"Love you, too." Patrick replies. Saying 'I love you' to eachother before one left for work became habit somehow between Patrick and Andy. It's not like it was a lie, though- platonically, they did love eachother. A lot.

"You don't love me?" Pete asks in a fake whiny tone, looking up at Andy.

"I love you too, Pete." Andy smiles as he heads out the door. "Bye."

"Bye." Patrick and Pete both say in unison as the door closes. Silence falls over them. But only for a second.

"What's their name?" Pete asks, turning his full attention to Patrick.

"When are you going to leave?" Patrick laughs as he buries his face in his hands. Pete is so fucking nosy.


	4. four [crunching numbers]

The clock on his car's dashboard reads 12:53 AM when Joe crawls out of it and heads to the front door of his parents' house. (Because yes, he's thirty-two and still lives with his parents, even going as far to move to Chicago with them. big deal. atleast he pays a majority of rent.)

It was well past midnight when he was notified that he could go home becase he never has set shifts and they last anywhere from 8 to 48 hours depending on many, many factors. That's just the way it is for most EMS personnel and it was nothing different from the hours he dealt with in Ohio from the same exact job, so it wasn't like it bothered him or anything. 

Joe knew exactly what he was getting into when he started training for the job back in 2013-ish after deciding that his gig as a mechanic was boring and wanted to try something a little more challenging. 

Upon deciding on a career as an EMT, Joe understood perfectly that he had to be ready and availible to assist with anything his paramedic(s) needed from him, ranging from driving the ambulance its self, to providing comfort for the patients or their panicking loved ones, to literally having to keep someone's guts inside of them (their actual guts, not just vomit. but of course he had to deal with that on the daily, too.) until they got the patient in theory to the hospital. 

It definitely came in handy that he naturally had a remarkably high tolerance for guts, blood and other bodily fluids by default, even before training. It was either natural or he was just always really fucking high off of something. Either way, Joe quite literally had no gag reflex.

The door's unlocked when he opens it- that either meant that his family figured he'd be home soon, or it meant that his brother was still awake skyping his girlfriend or whatever it was that 17-year-olds did these days. 

Still, he makes it a point to be as quiet as possible as he slips in the dark livingroom, only using the moonlight shining through every window and their curtains in the livingroom as a guide not to hit his shins against the back of a couch or stub his toe on the corner of any piece of furniture as he makes his way to the kitchen, and, more specifically to the freezer for that pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream he snagged from the gas station on his way home from his last shift yesterday. 

The only thing he's thought about more than it today was Patrick- Patrick Stump, the cute medical technician on floor 3 of Andromeda Memorial who, for some reason or another asked for his number. 

As he thinks about it even more, he realizes that Adam and Alex were right- he was an absolute fucking dumbass. Of course, that's not what they said to his face, but they were sure as hell thinking it. Chicago EMTs were a hell of a lot smarter than he was, weren't they? Actually- scratch that. In Joe's mind, he was probably the biggest dumbass in the world, just a dumbass who knew how to ressurect people.

He should've asked for Patrick's number so he could atleast try to start striding towards the first move before Patrick found someone else- that is, if he didn't already have someone. Adam said he was single this morning, but then again, Adam didn't know every detail of Patrick's life, now did he? Definitely not. 

Joe just couldn't believe how fucking deep in he was already after literally two conversations about fucking windex. Even worse was that he already started spiraling to where he was now the second he laid eyes on Patrick. Pathetic? Likely. But he really hasn't been this deep into someone since his mid-twenties. It was about time to trip, fall and bust his lip again.

After grabbing a spoon as quietly as possible, (trying not to make the silverware drawer squeak, avoiding rattling the spoons) he heads upstairs to his room and closes the door behind him before Sam's cat finds out he has ice cream. 

He's only been here for about 2 weeks and his room is already a mess, but that's mostly because he jumped the gun and got a job as soon as they moved, not giving himself the time to actually un-pack, so he just opens boxes as he needs shit out of them. 

After stripping down to his underwear as he usually does on warm-ish nights, he pulls his phone (that he had turned off for a majority of his shift) out of the back pocket of the pants he just took off and checks for any notifications. 

His heart starts racing once he finds that there's a text from an 'unknown number' that sparks. Could it be? His heart starts raicing as he opens it, and though he's prepared for a simple 'hey' or 'what's up', he gets a whole paragraph. Luck must've striken him tonight.

'Hey it's Patrick from the lab. I kinda lied about why I wanted your number but I think you're cool. I like your aura.' delivered at 8:36 PM.

What if he was too late to respond? What if Patrick thinks he hates him now or something? That definitely wasn't the case and now he wishes he would've checked his phone just a little bit sooner within the 5 minutes he's gotten in-between calls. He saves Patrick's number almost immediately with a little sparkling heart emoji right next to it. It seems to reflect how he feels about him.

And suddenly Joe's once again absolutely pining over a guy he saw this morning as he shoves a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth. In this moment, he swears to himself that if Patrick did actually like him the way Adam and Alex have him convinced he might and provided that he didn't think he hated him since he didn't reply to his text right then, he'd follow that man to the end of the earth. Though cheesy, unrealistic and really rather pathetic, his mind's made up and his heart's set. There's no one else out there for him except for Patrick.

Atleast, he likes his aura, though! Atleast he did when he sent the message! That means (or meant) something good, right? 

But as he digs up another spoon of mint ice cream, he realizes he's faced with another problem- how to respond without sounding like a totally pining loser while still sounding like he was interested to make up for the time it took him to get to responding. A simple 'hey' or a 'what's up?' wasn't going to cut it. Now he needs to think about his response, and quite honestly, thinking isn't what Joe really wants to do at this hour.. But it is for Patrick- the man he had already decided he'd do anything for, and in his mind, he has to prove that he's interested in his company.

\------

After going out for dinner, Patrick and Pete return to Patrick and Andy's apartment for a while until Pete decides to go home. 

The entire ride to the resturaunt, inside of the resturaunt while eating, and most of the ride back home again has been nothing but Pete relentlessly urging Patrick to pick up the phone and text Joe. 'You have his number, you might as well take advantage of that!' he says. Patrick knows he's right, but it takes a long time for him to think up exactly what he wants to shoot at him.

What if it comes off as obsessive? What if he thinks he's weird for taking advantage of his number for personal reasons? He'll definitely think Patrick's annoying, right? OF course he will! Almost everyone does!

"Considering that he gave you his number and wanted to come talk to you for a second time today, I doubt he thinks you're annoying." Pete states, his eyes glued to the TV as they watch re-runs of the original Ghostbusters movies on the VH1 Classic channel.

"Maybe not now.. It's not like I won't see him tomorrow." Patrick replies. He's so anxious about what'll happen next, and he truly can't think of a good reason. He's just an anxious person in general and has been his entire life. He only hoped that as he approached his thirties, it would've died down a little bit and he would be able to just do shit without thinking twice, but it seems to have only gotten worse.

"It's 8:30 already and there's no guarantee that you'll see him tomorrow." Pete whines, "Patrick, don't be fucking stupid and miss your chance. Anything could happen."

"You make it sound like I'm into him romantically." Patrick groans, rolling his eyes. "I don't like him that way!" Patrick had always considered himself straight, but only because he'd only ever liked women in the past. He didn't rule out that one day he could possibly fall for another man, and if he played his cards right and avoided his certain doom for as long as possible, he'd probably have a lot of time left to find out. He just didn't think he was 'in love' with Joe. Liking his vibe and personality had absolutely nothing to do with romance. Right? Right. "Come on, you can't tell me that you've never been obsessed with becoming someone's friend, Pete. And, I'm not even that obsessed, so.."

"You sure about that?"

"I only keep talking about it because you keep bringing it up!"

"What does he look like?" Pete then asks, turning his attention away from the TV. 

Patrick blinks. "Well, he's taller than me, but not too tall.. Um, he has these really fucking gorgeous blue eyes-"

"Patrick!" Pete interrupts. "Gorgeous blue eyes!"

"I said I like his eyes, not him! I mean, yeah, I like him, just not-"

"Oh my God!" Pete grabs Patrick's phone off of the coffee table and hands it to him. "Text him or I will."

Patrick huffs. Pete won't get off of his ass if he doesn't, so he might as well go ahead and pull the trigger. What was the absolute worst that could happen, anyways? He pulls up the contact and taps the messaging icon. It takes him a second to begin typing out what he wants to say, but he decides to keep it simple while getting his point straight across. 

Once it sends, he drops his phone in Pete's lap. "Happy? He's probably busy, though, I mean.."

"This is for your happiness, not mine." Pete replies with a smug look on his face that Patrick's tempted to slap right off as his eyes lock back onto the TV.

-

It's around 1:15 AM when Patrick's under the covers and drifting off to sleep. Pete left around 10, and Patrick has made it a habit to stay up until he hears Andy come in, which was at around 11:20. Still, it was well past 1 when he decided he was tired enough to crawl into bed, but before actually drifting off, his eyes are re-opened by his phone's text notification ring going off- a cartoonish little whirring noise that sounds like something you'd hear from a Zhu-Zhu Pet as it falls asleep. 

Sometimes, someone from the hospital will text him if he's needed in the lab, especially if they're exceptionally short-handed and don't have time to have someone talking on the phone. Since this is a possibility, Patrick sits up and puts his glasses on to take a look at it- but instead of an inquirie about work, it's Joe, replying to his message. 

Patrick had kind of forgot that he sent a text earlier, but it is nice to see that he's gotten a reply. The lateness doesn't bother him too much since he knows there's probably not a lot of time to text when you're in the back of an ambulance most of the day, but apparently Joe felt the need to apologize for it, as made obvious in his text.

'Thanks, I like yours too! I'm sorry that it took so long to reply, I had my phone off. I don't know when you'll get this, but please know that I wasn't ignoring you at all and I think you're cool too. Definitely cooler than me.'

Patrick smiles to himself as he reads the text. It's reassuring that Joe didn't think he was creepy or lame for using the number for something other than what he said he would. Maybe it was his direct honesty in the text he sent that he didn't actually need it for work. 

But for Joe to tell him he was the cooler of the two was definitely wrong in his mind. He had to argue with that, no matter how late it was. Patrick thinks he's the lamest guy in the world, honestly.

'You're wrong! I'm not cool at all, haha. Don't worry about being late, though, I know you're probably busy and all!!' he shoots back as soon as he reads the entire message.


	5. five

Patrick doesn't quite remember how long it's been since he became best friends with Travie, the art therapist on floor 6, and neither can Travie, but it doesn't matter- all that matters is that they seemed to just click the moment they met and talking to eachother is one of the easiest things in the world.

Travie stands at an entire foot taller than Patrick. 6'5. He's literally the definition of 'tall, dark and handsome' and never misses up a chance to embrace that. 

He and Patrick have both been acclaimed for their 'soul voices' and aren't afraid to break out in song in public, because despite Patrick's anxiety over a lot of things, his singing isn't one of those things. Atleast not anymore.

Travie and Patrick's main shared interest is quite obviously music. Specifially, 70s and 80s pop artists. Travie has called Patrick his "Pocket-sized Daryl Hall" time after time again because their go-to for karaoke night is always something Hall and Oates. (because yes, they have karaoke dates.)

On that note, Travie has a tattoo of Mr.Hall himself and enjoys showing it off to anyone who's willing to get a better glance of it. Not to mention the framed picture of Hall and Oates in his office, framed next to his niece who is the 'light of his life' (and don't you dare forget that.)

Patrick always drops in to have a chat with Travie on break during days that they're both working. Usually to talk about their lives, but sometimes it's just to discuss the weather if nothing else. They can always find something to talk about. 

"I really don't get why everyone thinks crop circles come from the aliens." Patrick states as an addition to their current conversation- crop circles, of course.

"Yeah, I know. Like don't you think cows get bored sometimes?" Travie agrees with a shrug, "I mean, I would too if all I did was eat grass all day."

"Right?" Patrick nods.

"Like, it gives them something to do!" Travie laughs, "Turn that grass-eating into art."

"Do you think they rate eachother's creations?" Patrick then asks. Travie nods.

"Of course." he replies right as Patrick's text notification on his phone goes off. Travie raises an eyebrow as Patrick pulls it out to look. "They need you in the lab?" he asks.

That's not the case (yet), it's just a text from Joe- they've been keeping that up for the past couple of days and have already gotten to the 'kind of knowing eachother' point, like a fact here and there- their movie preferences, living arrangements, the 'coffee or tea?' conversation, (they both prefer coffee, actually) and a tale or two about each of their jobs. Patrick figures it's a friendship by now.

'you working today?' the text reads. 

"Nah, not yet." Patrick replies to Travie as he shakes his head, "It's just Joe."

Travie furrows his brows- there's probably around twenty people that work at the hospital alone named Joe, Jo or Joey, and that's not even counting whoever else Patrick could be talking to.

"Joe..." he trails off, hoping Patrick would give him a hint. Patrick laughs once he realizes that Travie probably doesn't know who he's talking about, and well, he's right.

"Joe Trohman, he's-"

"Oh!" Travie chirps, unintentionally interrupting Patrick, "The new EMT? You've met him?" of course, that was a rhetorical question. Of course he's met him if he has his number. Right?

"Yeah." Patrick nods, shooting a 'yea, im in right now.' text back to Joe. They already seem to have broken out of the "proper grammar in texts" phase. "He's really kinda cool."

"So I've heard." Travie says, "You gotta' introduce us one day."

"I'll bring him along next karaoke night." Patrick jokes. 

In all honesty, though, he doesn't take Joe for the kind to go to karaoke, anyways. Maybe just to watch or something. 

Either way, he will probably introduce Travie and Joe to eachother eventually because all of his friends usually end up knowing eachother after a while.

"Bring him as your date." Travie laughs.

"I don't like him that way!" Patrick snaps back immediately. Travie backs off slowly, which causes Patrick to realize how quick he was to react. 

It really wasn't even that big of a deal, but because of Pete's constant accusations and smugness about the situation last night, the thought of someone thinking he 'liked' Joe in that way triggered his fight or flight response. Even if it was just by Travie, who definitely didn't care about same-gender relationships. Hell, he was bisexual himself and never tried to hide that from Patrick.

"Woah, man.." Travie says as he backs off, "I didn't really mean.."

"Nah, I know." Patrick shrugs, trying to brush it off as quickly as he was to react. Yikes. 

"Hey, what time is it, by the way?" Travie asks since Patrick has his phone out. 

The question comes as a relief to Patrick because it means that Travie probably just let it go.

"Uh... 11:23." he replies as he peaks over at the numbers on the corner of his phone screen. "Uh, AM."

"Oh, shit... Hey, not to rush you out or anything," Travie smiles sympathetically, "you know I love you, but I have an appointment in around 5 minutes, so I need to make sure I have everything together for my client.."

"No problem!" Patrick nods, "I should really get back to the lab, anyways." 

"Alright, see you around?" Travie smiles. 

"Of course." Patrick replies as he heads to the elevator. 

On his walk over, his phone goes off once again with another text from Joe.

'sorry! have i been distracting from your job? eeek'

The 'eeek' at the end of that text just makes Patrick smile at his phone. He isn't sure why, but he finds it rather cute. 

-Not Joe, of course! His texting style! ...not that he's bad-looking.

But Patrick just adores his sense of individuality most of all. It's very small things he's said or done within the short amount of time they've known eachother that really gives Patrick the vibe that Joe really likes to stand out. Or atleast just does anyways, even if it isn't intentional.

'not at all! i was on break having a chat with my friend Travie.' he sends back as he makes his way to the elevator and presses the button he needs to go to the floor the lab is on.

\----

Joe sits in his car which is parked in the front yard as he sends Patrick that text with the little 'eeek' at the end. He doesn't think too much about it and doubts that the man on the other end will either.

He'd gotten up earlier than originally planned to run a couple of errands in Berwyn this morning and has been texting back and forth with Patrick since then, (not while driving, of course.) but quite honestly, their communication has made the lack of sleep worth the while. It's not like he gets that much sleep anyways. 

As he looks over in the passenger seat at the bundle of roses that have been shotgunning since his last stop along east main, he feels his phone vibrate with another text notification already. 

'Damn.' he thinks. Even when he's at work or something, Patrick's rather quick with replying.

"Just a minute." he mumbles softly (as if Patrick can hear him) while he picks up the roses and crawls out of his car. 

Before heading in, he looks at the message and texts back 'cool tell him i said hi' with the sunglasses emoji. After it sends, he then shoves his phone back in his pocket and throws the arm holding the roses behind his back as he approaches the door. Before he even opens it, he can hear a woman's laughter- his mother's. 

"Morning." Joe says once he opens the door and approaches the kitchen table, where both of his parents are sitting. More specifically, behind the chair his mother is sitting in as he wraps his arms around her and hands her the roses.

"Well, good morning to you too." she says as she turns around and stands up to hug him back, even though he still has to slightly crouch down for that to happen.

"Thought you were at work?" his father says over his coffee cup. 

"Not yet." Joe replies as his mother lets go of him to put the flowers in a vase. He then proceeds to pull a packet of cigarillos out of the pocket at the front of his shirt and slides them down the table to his father.

"Well, thank you." his father, Mark says as he catches them. Before he gives himself the chance to light one, though, he has to ask his son a question. "....So, what do you want?"

Joe shrugs. "What do you mean?"

"The roses, the cigarillos... The fact that you've been in a pretty good mood for two days straight.. Do you need money?"

"Mark!" his wife, Martha scolds.

"Why do I always have to want something?"

"Okay, okay.." His father backs up, laughing slightly. "What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything either." Joe replies as he turns to head to the staircase. "I'm gonna take a nap, do what you will with that."

"Love you, Joey." Mark says loudly. 

"I love you too." Joe replies. 

"-And thank you for the roses!" Martha yells.

"You're welcome, mom!" with that, he heads up the stairs and to his room. His phone vibrates once he throws it on his bed and the screen lights up with a text.

Iss Patrick's mere presence in his life already making him that much happier of a person? According to his father it must be. But that was definitely a good thing.

...What might not be such a good thing is that he's already letting Patrick indirectly dictate his moods. What if Patrick decides to drop contact with him one day? What if he wasn't even in this for a relationship of any sorts and just wanted someone to text with in between waiting for his actual friends to reply or become availible? 

Joe was no stranger to being used, but more often than not, his own pining and overall being a hopeless romantic (the same way he's acting over Patrick) is what really gets him into situations like this. 

Being careful is always advisable with new acquaintances, but since when has Joe ever been truly 'careful'? He's already dedicated himself to Patrick. Whether it be romantically or not. 

He picks up the phone and reads the text- 

'he wants to meet you sometime! he's the resident art therapist at the hospital.'


	6. six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!! I'm back! I'm still working on *67 too, I've just also had my mind on another AU I plan to publish soon. It's gonna be sick. There's blood and uhhh... Some growling if you're into that.

The past week has fallen into a routine of Joe finding the time to take the elevator up to the lab just to make small talk with Patrick a lot like the way Patrick does with Travie.

Sometimes, if Joe's really lucky and has the time, Patrick lets him come along to collect samples. 

Actually, once on Thursday, Patrick even let Joe carry the tray of samples from a patient's room to the lab because he was just that willing to. He finds himself following Patrick around in the manner of a school boy with a crush on the 'popular girl' who lets him tag along as long as he carries her books. 

Except in this case, it's someone for Patrick to gush over his job to. (and talk about his life, of course.) 

But Joe definitely encourages it- he likes to hear about the things that make Patrick happy because Patrick makes him happy. It's a spin cycle that he's gladly submitting to.

And the thing is, Patrick isn't like a popular school girl at all- he just really enjoys Joe's company and thinks it's really sweet that he's willing to help out in and hear about a department that's differing from his own. 

Infact, Joe seems so interested in hearing about it that Patrick has began to wonder if he's following him around and encouraging him to talk about his job because he has an interest in working in laboratory himself. That must be it because he can't really fathom the thought that Joe could be, as Pete says, 'in love' with him. Why would he be? 

But still, Patrick sometimes wonders what it would be like if Joe were in love with him. More importantly, how he would react if it came down to that.

He thinks about it a lot more often than he'd like to admit. 

======================================================================

"Why are you smiling at your phone?" Sam asks, looking up from his laptop, "Patrick?"

"Yeah," Joe replies almost immediately, "we're picking up the conversation we had earlier about the first time they let him analyze a sample on his own." he sighs as he sets his phone down on the table with the display still on while Patrick types. "He really likes telling this story, so.... I really like listening to it."

"I can't believe that you have a puppy crush." Sam smirks, returning to reading an article for his homework assignment.

"It's not a puppy crush!" Joe protests, "It's just a strong...." he trails off, trying to think of a word before Sam beats him to it. "Adoration, I guess.. I just... Wanna hear him talk for hours, y'know?"

"Puppy crush..." Sam repeats, jotting down a few words from the article in his notebook. "What a sap."

"Like you've never had a crush." Joe throws back, "Lucy Gilligan."

"I was fourteen!" Sam yells with a hint of embarassment, mostly because he still finds himself pining over pictures and status updates from social media accounts that belong to his freshman year crush every now and then. "So... How much do you know about Patrick?" he then asks, trying to change the subject while also looking for a better understanding of just why his brother was such a sucker for this guy already. "Like... Other than all of those perfect things you go on about.."

"He's short and bossy." Joe says as he texts Patrick back. Sam honestly didn't expect him to say it so bluntly. "Guess you gotta' be, though when you're the youngest of three and was probably the shortest guy in your high school's band."

"Musically talented, huh?" Sam raises an eyebrow, "No wonder you're so drawn to him." 

"Yeah, he can play around 8 instruments." Joe replies. "He wanted to be a marine biologist, but sometime during college he was drawn towards medical laboratory." he then sighs dreamily. "And.... he has a really soothing voice."

"You mean you've heard him sing, or just his talking voice?" Sam asks, intrigued. 

"Oh, just talking." Joe replies as his mind begins to wander off on what Patrick's singing voice could sound like. 

Patrick mentioned once yesterday that he enjoys doing karaoke and though he's never heard it, Joe can imagine that he sounds like an angel. "It's easy to get him started on things he likes.. He would go for hours if we had the time. Maybe one day when we're both off I'll ask if he wants to hang out so he'll get the chance to, y'know?"

"You're seriously such a sap." Sam scoffs. 

Joe can't deny it. He isn't wrong.

======================================================================

"You don't get it, do you?" Andy asks rhetorically once Patrick explains how Joe has been following him around like a dog in heat. 

"I'm not an idiot." Patrick protests. "I'm just being realistic. Why would he be into me? It's probably just wishful thinking on your part so you can get rid of me sooner." he rolls his eyes as he pours a bowl of cinnamon toast crunch with his right hand, replying to Joe's latest text with his left.

"That's not the case at all, Patrick." Andy laughs, "Why would I want you gone? You help with rent."

"Oh, so I'm useful because I pay rent? I feel so loved." Patrick says sarcastically as he pours the milk into the bowl of cereal, albeit joking. 

"You know I love you and having you around." Andy says, patting his roomate's shoulder. "But come on, you have to admit that he must have some kind of fascination with you if he's going the distance to assure that he can spend time with you every day."

"I think he's just interested in my job." Patrick replies, putting the milk back in the fridge. "Which, I definitely don't mind. I love talking about it, but I kinda' feel like he'd talk about his more in return.. I dunno." he shrugs as he picks up the bowl of cereal. "I think he's getting tired of his or something. He mentioned to me that he only went into it 'cause it looked cool at the time and he was bored of being a mechanic. And it was influenced by his father since it's in the medical field." 

"Is his dad a doctor?"

"Was." Patrick replies, "He was a cardiologist, but he's retired now.. I think." Patrick shoves a spoonful of cereal in his mouth with a shrug and heads towards the livingroom. "Either way, I don't really care about why he follows me around," he says once he swallows the cereal. "It's just nice to have someone go out their way to see me." 

'He makes a point there' Andy thinks. It really doesn't matter what Joe's intentions with him are, as long as they're good ones, and from what he's heard, they more than likely are. Who would take adavantage of Patrick anyways? An idiot, that's for sure.

"Yeah," Andy replies, "You're right."


	7. seven

Patrick still finds himself thinking about what Joe's intentions with him may be a lot more often than he'd like. It's been two weeks since they started talking and he feels as if he's already told Joe everything there is to know about him. 

But he feels comfortable opening up to him, so maybe that's a sign he isn't going to fuck him over.

By now, Joe knows that Patrick is the youngest of three children- he knows the names of his siblings; his oldest sister, Karen and their middle brother, Jason. 

He knows that Patrick has two nieces named Effie and Kiera via Karen and that Jason's wife, Amber is currently expecting their first child.

Patrick has also explained to Joe that his parents still live within the Chicago limits, but on the opposite side of town, nearly 30 minutes away from him. 

Patrick also knows a thing or two about Joe- he knows that he was raised in a Jewish background, he knows the reason why he's so afraid of persuing another career (and also that at this point he really isn't sure what he'd prefer), and he also knows that he kept an unfortunate alternative streak for ten years straight. (something Patrick can't really say too awful much about.)

The facts and details they know about eachother, their upbringings and what they hold close to their hearts make them all the more comfortable to just talk to eachother about anything that comes to mind.

Anything except for where they stand, that is. That's classified. It's a mystery that Patrick assumes they'll find out when they least expect it.

"We're friends." Patrick whispers to himself in a reassuring manner while the only other technician currently in the lab is on the other side with his earbuds in. "He genuinely enjoys my company."

"Who?"

Patrick blinks and looks up. 

Standing at 6'1, there's Adam Damn Lazzara. "Who's your friend?"

Patrick shakes his head. "I'm, uh... Just thinking out loud."

"Sorry for interrupting." the brunette shrugs. "....But, hey, if you're thinking about Joe, he won't shut up about you-....Well, fuck, you weren't supposed to know that."

"..Me?" Patrick asks, intrigued. Joe won't shut up about him? Seriously? What could that possibly mean?

"Who else?" Adam leans against the doorframe and crosses his arms. "He thinks you're brilliant, charismatic, really fun to be around.."

He isn't willing to find out, but Patrick suspects that he's a light shade of pink by now. Joe must actually like him if he goes on about him, considering that Adam made it seem like a positive thing. "I could say the same about him." Patrick replies. "He's a cool guy, I really like him."

"Cute." Adam smirks. "But... When are you guys gonna'..." Adam turns his hands into 'puppets' and closes the tips of his fingers together in a 'kissing' gesture for emphasis with a wink. "get together?"

"What?" Patrick raises an eyebrow. "I don't like him that way." he laughs. 

He can't tell if Adam implied a relationship between them because he knew something Patrick didn't, or he just wanted to play around. Adam was kind of still a mystery to Patrick. "Dude, have you never had friends?"

"I have friends!" Adam bites back. "I have.... Lots of friends.. Eddie, Bert, Shaun..."

"And you like talking to them I suppose?" Patrick then questions, trying to prove his point.

"I mean duh, we wouldn't be friends then." Adam scoffs, "But look, man, maybe you should have a little chat with Joe over your.. Y'know, friendship."

"'Cause?" Patrick asks.

"I should keep my mouth shut." Adam laughs, standing up straight. "Nice talking to you, Patrick, I gotta get back to my post."

"Adam, wait..." before Patrick can say anything else, Adam's already half-way to the elevator. Patrick could just fucking scream right now. 

"Ass." he mumbles under his breath before it starts to sink in that Joe could actually like him... That way. He doesn't want to entertain the thought too much, but if that were the case and not just a theory, it could explain why Joe has been following him around like a small dog. His train of thought is then interrupted by his phone's notification tone. 

Patrick nearly jumps out of his skin because what if it's Joe?

But it's not, thank God. Just an email. 

But why was he so.... Like this with Joe? Why was Adam asking if he was going to get with Joe specifically? He never asked that question about any of Patrick's other many friends. It seems suspicious, but it could also just be Adam wanting to be a jerk as per usual.

\----

"Where the fuck were you?" Joe asks once Adam comes back out.

"Just saying 'Hi' to Patrick." Adam replies. "I'm not going to fuck your man, don't worry."

"Shut up." Joe hisses, thumping ashes off of the cigarette in his right hand. 

"Just playing around. " Adam replies, "Don't I get that right considering that I have to hear about your crush constantly?"

"I guess, yeah." Joe shrugs, "So what's Patrick up to?"

Adam scoffs. "What do lab technicians do, again, Trohman? You might know a thing or two about that since you've been hanging out with one for two weeks straight."

Joe starts laughing near hysterically, which Adam finds confusing and quite frankly, rather terrifying. What is he even laughing about? 

"I see! You're jealous 'cause I've been making friends that aren't you!"

"Oh, come on!" Adam cries out as he takes the cigarette out of Joe's hand. "If anything, I'm glad you're finding other people to pester." He then takes a drag off of his stolen cigarette.

"Really funny, Adam. Come on." Joe crosses his arms.

"I mean it, though." Adam says, "You didn't give yourself time to become familiar with the place before you jumped the gun and applied for a job." he hands the cigarette back over and runs a hand through his hair. "I mean, Chicago isn't my home, but it's a great city for the time being."

"For the time being?" Joe asks, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing in particular, I guess." Adam shrugs. "But just keep in mind that if I don't show up one day, I'm back in New York."

"Gotcha." Joe replies before taking the last drag off of the cigarette and shoving it in the receptacle. "Don't know what I'll ever do without you, though." 

"I know that was satire, but to make myself feel better I'm gonna genuinely believe you'd miss me." Adam laughs. 

"Maybe it wasn't." 

"Hey.." someone else adds in- both Adam and Joe know that voice anywhere, of course. It's Patrick. They just didn't expect him to be here, and Adam suddenly seems a little jumpy to Joe, but maybe that's just his imagination.

"Hey." Joe replies, his eyes lighting up. 

"Do you, uh, have a minute?" Patrick asks, looking directly over at Joe. "I kinda'... Need to ask you something."

"Sure!" he replies almost immediately. What could it possibly be about? His interest in Patrick's job? His zodiac sign? Either way, he figures he can answer the question truthfully. There's no need to hide anything... Usually.

Adam mutters a very quiet "Shit." which they both notice, but only Patrick knows why exactly he muttered that. Maybe opening his mouth was coming to bite him in the ass?

"Calm down." Joe whispers to Adam as he passes him while following Patrick inside of the hospital, even though he's not sure why he's so on edge. 

As Patrick and Joe turn to go inside of the hospital, Patrick throws a quick glare at Adam over his shoulder. 

Adam can only hope that Patrick won't bring it up to him that he almost let /it/ slip because chances are, if Patrick /really/ doesn't like Joe the way he likes him, it could very well be a missed friendship all because he had to get ahead of himself and fuck with Patrick's perception of Joe. That sure would suck.

"So, what's up?" Joe asks once they're in an empty hospital room. Patrick would prefer they have this conversation more in private, but he really couldn't wait to ask about it no matter how hard he tried. It was beginning to get in the way of his train of thought regaurding his job, so he needed to get it off of his chest. All he needs is an answer- good or bad, and then he's certain he can concentrate again. Sure, he could easily text Joe, but it's also just as easy to lie over text and he really needs to get an actual, straight answer in person.

"I'm sorry if this is... Like, uh, cornering you or something.."

"Nah, go ahead."

"Okay.. We've known eachother for a couple of weeks now and I.. Just like to... Uhh.. Know things I guess.."

"Understandable." Joe shrugs. "Come on, though.. What's up?"

"You like me, right?" Patrick finally brings himself to ask. Once he says it out loud to Joe's face, though, it seems rather stupid to ask.

"Of course, Patrick! Of course I like you, I mean.. We're friends, right?" he raises an eyebrow. What would give him the impression that he didn't like him?

Patrick smiles at this reassurance, but, that isn't exactly what he was trying to inquire. "Of course we are!" he replies.

But it gets harder to bring himself to ask about any.... Other feelings once he realizes how presumptious it would sound. 

He feels like it would sound as if he had the suspicion that Joe just had to have a crush on him just because he was gay, playing into the 'predatory' stereotype he hears regaurding gay men and lesbians all too often.

That isn't the case. He doesn't in any way suspect that he's into him for that reason. It's other things. Very little things that he only truly started considering after Adam joked around about them hooking up.

All Patrick just wants to know is if Adam knows something he doesn't, and that brings him all the way back to square one. 

But, then again, what if this was all due to wishful thinking? What if Patrick wants Joe to like him because maybe... Just possibly... Patrick's the one with the crush? Is that why he can't stop thinking about him? 

In this moment, Patrick decides that it couldn't hurt to explore it some more. What does he truly have to lose? Nothing, really. And maybe something.. Rather someone to gain. It's an epiphany. And honestly, it's a rather good one. "So, like.. I dunno, wanna hang out some time and get to know what we're like outside of the workplace? I totally get it if you wanna, y'know, say no, but.."

A-Ha! There it was. For Patrick, it's an epiphany. For Joe, it seemed almost like a dream come true. Did Patrick just ask him to hang out? Of course he didn't mean on a date. Duh. Joe isn't that lovesick. But still, it's what he wants more than anything- more time to hang out with Patrick. He can't pass it up for anything.

"How could I say no?" Joe replies, "We really should. I'm not sure when I'll have time off, but I'll let you know. Is that okay?"

"Of course!" Patrick chirps. "I get it. We can discuss this more over text 'cause.." Patrick looks up at the wall. He really needs to get back to the lab and he's sure that Joe is gonna be needed soon too. "Well, yeah." he laughs.

"Great. Hit me up with whatever you feel like doing. I'm down for anything." Joe refrains from adding 'as long as it's with you' to that sentence because that's kind of creepy and obsessive in his opinion, but it's definitely true. 

"Let's sleep on it." Patrick suggests as he opens the door. "See ya."

"Later." Joe says as he watches Patrick head to the elevator to go back to his lab. Once he's sure that he's completely disappeared, he whispers "Fuck." loudly to himself. But in a good way, of course. 

Just wait until Adam hears about this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hi!! We're hitting a slow spot in the plot line right now to build up to The Big Event, but I promise it will get better <3


	8. eight

Spending three years scooping up people who are half-dead and keeping them together for anywhere from a minute to an hour no matter how hard they're convulsing or yelling has left Joe rather numb to most things, as if he weren't already. 

Nothing scares him anymore. Horror movies are rather lame at this point because whatever's on the screen, he's probably seen in real life, sometimes even worse. Haunted houses? A walk in the park.

He still likes to think back to when he was a wide-eyed college kid, always left in awe at the kinds of things that scare normal people. Now nothing seems to amaze him. Well, maybe Patrick does. He seems to be teaching Joe what it's like to feel strong emotion again. Even if he doesn't mean to.

It comes in waves - the butterflies stirring in his chest when Patrick says his name in *that* tone, the feeling that there should be hearts in his eyes when Patrick says it's a 'wonderful surprise' when he shows up to the lab unexpectedly, the times they've left eachother in tears due to laughter at some stupid joke that only they seem to get, and the excitement Joe feels when Patrick asks him to carry samples. 

Its surprise, it's amazement, it's puppy love. It's something Joe missed feeling, and with Patrick, he doesn't have to miss it anymore. It's right there. 

And he feels it as he pulls into the parking lot of the diner that they agreed to meet up at for brekafast on Sunday morning.

It's not a date, and though he kind of wishes it were, at the same time, he enjoys the comfortable feeling of it just being a couple of friends hanging out- he doesn't have to dress up, try to 'woo' Patrick or anything. He asked him to hang out because he wants to get to know who he really is better. Not as a potential partner.

The diner's packed- of course. It always is. It's the busiest one on this side of town. Despite that, however, Joe's able to quickly spot Patrick in a booth towards the back when he walks in and heads over to him.

"Shit, how long have you been here?" he asks, sliding in the opposite booth.

"Oh, just a minute." Patrick laughs, "Don't worry about it, man, I just like to show up early." Patrick pulls the sleeves of his cardigan down- it's the first time that Joe has ever seen him in something besides scrubs and on the occasion, a lab coat. He looks a lot more content in it. "Getting cold, huh?"

"Kinda." Joe replies. He hadn't even noticed. "I like it, though. I've noticed the weather here is a little more stable than Ohio."

"Fuck, I can't stand unstable weather!" Patrick replies. "Something's seriously wrong if it's 70 and raining one day, and then 90 and like, snowing the next! I like everything to be consistent." He kind of sounds like such a diva. 

And then there's Joe, who's just leaning against his booth and listening to Patrick's ranting.

"I sound like an old man complaining about the weather.." Patrick shrugs, "I mean, I guess I am getting there.."

"You're not old, Patrick.. I mean, we kinda' look like old men, but we're not." Joe laughs. "Wait 'til forty. Then we're old."

"I like that number. Forty." Patrick smirks.

"Mhmm."

"So, anyways.." Patrick leans in, "How are you?"

Joe shrugs. "Well, I'm here, aren't I?"

"Oh, come on!" Patrick wails as he rolls his eyes, "Tell me how your morning was, uhh.. Tell me about yourself some more! That's why I asked you to come hang out, shit."

"I talk too much anyways, I mean.." Whether that's true or not is up for debate, but either way, he isn't sure what to even say. What more could Patrick need to know?

"Man, fuck you." Patrick says jokingly.

Joe starts laughing once he says that. "I'm outta' fun facts, I mean.."

"Okay.." Patrick chews on the inside of his cheek as tries to think up something to start up another conversation about. "So, I hate neopolitan ice cream. I fucking despise it. It's the worst."

"Damn." Joe says as he opens up the menu infront of him. "That's a little harsh, I mean.."

"I want it wiped off of this planet, Joe. I mean that." Patrick seems rather defensive over his hated of neopolitan ice cream. Does he really hate the polyamorous relationship between vanilla, chocolate and strawberry that much? "What is your most hated ice cream flavor?"

"Don't have one. I mean, moose tracks is kinda' overhyped, but I don't, like, hate it." 

Patrick pushes his glasses further up the bridge of his nose and opens the menu infront of him as well. Joe notices from the corner of his eye and smiles slightly to himself, but Patrick (luckily) doesn't notice. 

"I used to try to be vegetarian sometimes," Patrick explains, "but I just couldn't go through with it."

"Understandable." Joe replies, "It's kinda' hard in this day and time, I mean, fuck, people wrap everything in bacon. Kinda' tempting if you ask me."

"Right?" Patrick agrees. Their eyes still reading over their menus. "I like sushi a lot, too."

"It's been a while since I've tried any." Joe shrugs, "There was this cool sushi place in the neighborhood I lived in before the last in Ohio, though. They were pretty good."

"How's Chicago so far?" Patrick asks, finally seeing the perfect oportunity to get a little more personal, but not too invasive. "Would you prefer to still live in Ohio?"

"That's always gonna' be my home, I guess.. I dunno. I was born in south Florida. But, I mean.. I do like the people here more, though. You guys seem to be a lot more open-minded."

"I think anywhere has it's right and left." Patrick replies, "How long did you live in Ohio, then?"

"Umm.." Joe tries to think back. Sometimes it's hard to keep track of all of the places he's lived because in each state, there were always so many. His parents seem to be rather obsessed with having that change of scenery here and there. "I think we moved there when I was 16? 17? It was before my brother was born.. I think."

"That's kind of a while.." before Patrick has the chance to ask anything else, a waiter comes over with an apologetic smile. His nametag reads 'Nick'.

"I'm sorry it took so long, we're kind of swamped today."

"Oh, don't worry." Patrick replies, 

"Yeah, man," Joe adds, "you're fine."

"May I take your drink orders?" Nick asks. 

"Coffee sounds good." Patrick replies. Joe nods in agreement.

"Same."

"Alright. Are you ready to order anything else yet?"

Patrick and Joe look at eachother in embarassment. They were too busy talking to actually process what they were looking at, so neither have really made a decision.

"Can we... Have a few more minutes, please?" Joe asks, feeling himself turn a light shade of pink as he suspects Patrick is too.

"Of course." Nick replies. "Just let me know when and I'll be over with your coffee soon." 

"Thanks!" Patrick smiles. As Nick walks off, he turns to Joe and grins. 

"What?" Joe asks.

"You were checking him out, weren't you?" Patrick asks with a laugh. Of course he knows he wasn't, but he also knows that he can have a little fun with Joe without causing a legit conflict.

"I was not!" Joe replies, the color draining from his face. "He's too young for me, but he is cute."

Patrick turns back to the menu, with a smile from ear to ear. 

Joe rolls his eyes with a smirk before returning to reading the menu. "Ooh.."

"Ooh, what?" Patrick leans in, mockingly.

"Back on the topic of bacon, that's what I want." Joe's eyes are fixated on the page. 

"What? Just, a huge plate of bacon?" 

"I mean, sure? But not really, I mean.. What do you think? I don't think I've ever been here before."

Patrick shrugs. "Close your eyes and put your finger on something. It's what I do.." he trails off, "But if you're not up for roulette, I suggest eggs and toast 'cause they're the same wherever you go and you can do.. Y'know, whatever with toast."

"Um, not true." Joe argues, "But that is a good choice, so thanks."

"Not a problem." Patrick smiles sarcastically, although he genuinely means it.

"What about you? Do you want me to spin a wheel on your choice, too?" Joe then asks, leaning in. Patrick laughs.

"Fuck no. Nothing's getting in the way of me and this fat stack of pancakes, not even you." 

Joe laughs and closes his menu. "We're doing this so we can learn more about eachother," he says, "but I've learned absolutely nothing about you. I already knew you were a sarcastic little asshole."

"And I already knew that you were a..." Patrick trails off, biting his lip. "slightly taller asshole!"

"Sometimes that's all there is to someone, Patrick.. But definitely not you."

"Really? 'Cause Pete says I'm just short, bossy, and a diva." he states. "That's it.. Travie says I'm talented, which is nice, but.. It doesn't say a lot about my moral standing." he sighs. "Pete also thinks I'm dumb."

"Hey!" Joe interrupts, "You are not dumb. If anything you're one of the smartest guys I know.. And morally? Your dedication to your job says a lot about where you stand. You could easily just bullshit up a lab report and get paid just as much as you do now, but.. You don't. I've seen you double-check your analysis before.. You really put heart into it.. Along with everything else you love.. That's another great thing about you.. Besides your kindness and whatever else you do for other people, you're true to yourself.. You know what you love and hold it close to your heart.. And I'm not the point here, but.. I want you to know that I admire you." 

He starts drumming his fingers on the edge of the table as he looks slightly more to the side. He never thought he'd be able to pour that much emotion into something, but he just did. It feels good because Patrick needed to hear it, but it's also kind of awkward because what if that was too much? What if he's getting too deep already?

"Thank you, Joe." Patrick says as he looks up. "I needed that reassurance.." Patrick has never once heard Joe talk so much when trying to make a point, and it makes him feel kind of... special that he's the topic of interest he dedicated so much breath, time, and apparently heart to. He feels closer to him all of a sudden.

"And I don't.. Genuinely mean that you're an asshole, either." 

"The same goes for you. You're great."

"I'm trying." Joe shrugs.

"Your boyfriend's back." Patrick smirks, breaking the awkward 'touchy-feely' zone.

"Sorry about that." Nick smiles, setting the coffee on the table along with a tray of sugar and creamer packets. "Are you ready to order yet?"

"I think so." Patrick replies, "Right?"

"Yeah." Joe nods.


	9. nine

"I feel like a teenager again." Patrick laughs quietly as he takes a drag off of Joe's cigarette behind his car. The wind's picking up considerably and the direction it's blowing in causes the smoke to kind of just roll away from their faces. It's a rather refreshing breeze, but it also indicates rain, possibly a storm heading in. 

"I used to sneak around with weed. Now I'm an adult and don't have to."

"You do that in your parents' house?" Patrick questions.

"Oh, fuck no! I'm not that much of a delinquent." Joe replies as Patrick hands him the cigarette back. "I haven't had the chance to get high since the move, actually. Got nobody to smoke out or vice versa."

"Sucks." Patrick leans up against Joe's car and shoves his hands in his pockets. "Hit up Travie.. Or Gabe and Pete."

"Might take you up on that." Joe looks at his cigarette as if he expects it to turn into a joint. "Does this bother you?"

"Nah." Patrick replies, "I have the occasional smoke myself, and you were kind enough to share."

"I'd share with you any day."

"You're such a gentleman, seriously." Patrick jokes.

"What can I say?" Joe asks as he offers Patrick the cigarette again. "I'm a sucker for hot blondes."

Patrick bursts into laughter and stands up straight. "You slut." he says, taking him up on the cigarette again. 

As he does so, he realizes that through out this whole meeting, he hasn't once asked Joe the question that's been lingering over his head for a while. But now's his chance.

"Hey, mind if I ask you something?" Patrick then asks, handing the cigarette back over.

"Not at all." Joe shrugs, leaning against his car. Patrick watches the wind blow the smoke off of the cigarette towards the road, along with the un-buttoned button-up that Joe has been using as a light jacket type thing. It's captivating and Patrick thinks that he looks really cool leaning there with the cigarette. Talk about aesthetic.

"Um, so," Patrick shakes his head back to earth. What the fuck was that about? Was he pining or something? Get out. "do you have any interest in what I do? I mean.. You're always following me around and.."

Originally? Not really. Joe just liked hearing Patrick talk about what he liked. But that soon turned into an interest for the profession itsself, so at this point, yeah. He could say that to an extent. 

"Yeah, it's pretty sick." 

"Like, genuinely?" Patrick asks, his eyes growing wider. "You'd be interested in working in a laboratory?"

"If it meant I got to spend my days with you." Joe says without thinking. 

"Come on!" Patrick laughs, playfully shoving him. 

Joe doesn't seem to take too well to it, though, and stares at Patrick with a slightly pissed off 'what the fuck?' expression. "What?" he asks, "I seriously meant that." As he finishes his sentence, he starts to fear that he's getting too ahead of himself, this is the second time he's gotten emotional with Patrick today alone. He's going to catch onto him, he's going to think he's weird and obsessive and creepy. Fuck!

And it hits Patrick. It's like that 'a-ha!' moment that his parents always told him he'd have, except it isn't about his own feelings towards Joe, it's Joe's feelings towards him. 

He really does like him, doesn't he? He legitimately does have a crush on him, huh? 

Adam wasn't just blowing smoke up his ass. It's real. This is real. And he wants to let it go and not even confront Joe about it. Just ride it out and see if he feels the same. It's all he can really think of doing. It seems right.

"Sorry." Patrick says, "But considering that I was out of the picture?"

"Sure." Joe shrugs, brushing off what just happened. "I'd be willing to try anything atleast once.. Though I imagine you have to go through a shit ton of training for that too. So I'm just gonna' stick to what I'm doing now 'til Adam's had enough of me."

"What do you mean?" Patrick asks, getting the hint that Joe felt as if Adam was already heading towards that point. "Why would he have had enough of you?"

"I guess he feels threatened and thinks that I'm saying he can't do his job." Joe thumps ashes off of his cigarette and then hands it back to Patrick. "He lashes the fuck out even if I just suggest something. I know I'm just his EMT, but I dunno.. Nate never acts like that when I'm teamed with him."

"Realistically, he probably knows you mean well, but you guys are under a lot of pressure." Patrick states, taking a drag. 

"Yeah. It's whatever, man, I don't give a fuck."

"I think you should, Joe. Clashing on the job isn't a good idea and it might put someone at risk."

Joe shrugs as Patrick hands him his cigarette back. "If he gets fed up, he'll request someone else to replace me." 

"I'm lucky 'cause if I get fed up with my co-workers I can just put in earbuds to drown them out." Patrick says, "It's happened before. The most we really need from eachother is peer reviewal, which is really helpful and I, uh, kinda' like correcting people's mistakes." he laughs. "I mean, the other way around is great too, it helps me realize that I should pay more attention sometimes."

And there he goes talking about his job again. He's such a dork and it's truly beautiful. 

Patrick goes on for about five more minutes. Mostly explaining how important peer review is in the workplace, especially his specific career.

Between the two of them, they finish the cigarette. 

It's nearing 11 and Joe promised he'd take his mother to the Michael's' craft store fall sale today.

Patrick's reminded to pay his own mother a visit once he mentions it and plans to go home and call her so he can make plans with her. 

Once it's decided that the meet-up is over, they both find themselves confused about what to do next. 

Patrick really wants to reach over and hug Joe the same way he does with Pete and Travie, but the difference there is that he's known those two for a long, long time. 

How would Joe react? Maybe it's best if he didn't. That would come out too touchy, wouldn't it? 

But then again, Joe more than likely wants to be more than just friends with Patrick. Would a hug give him the impression that Patrick felt the same? 

Maybe he does feel the same, but he hasn't quite sorted that out yet. He needs to hang out with him a few more times to see what he's really feeling.

But friends hug, and once again, Patrick does hug his other friends. So, what's the worst that could happen? He leans in and wraps an arm around him briefly, giving him the quick and awkward 'bro hug' that usualy symbolizes something completely platonic.

But Joe doesn't move. He stands there stunned. In no way did he expect Patrick to hug him during the first actual meet-up, but it isn't a bad thing. He just doesn't know how to react.

Patrick fears he fucked up, though. He's already getting too touchy, isn't he? Fuck.

"Sorry." he says immediately after.

Joe shakes his head and comes back down to earth. What was it about Patrick that caused him to zone out so? "No, no you're good.. Um, can we try that again? It's just weird that... Only one of us.. I'm sorry."

Patrick mentally sighs in relief. It must not have been too awfully weird then. But why was he so out of it all of the sudden? He's seemed pretty alert throughout the rest of the morning. "Sure, uh, yeah." he replies.

They try it again. This time, both are initiated in the hug. It's quick, and ends with a mutual pat on the back. 

Yet, they both feel like they're fumbling, not doing it right, and just making the situation plain awkward for the other party involved. 

Joe regrets asking for a do-over because maybe Patrick didn't want to have to do it again.

Patrick regrets even doing it at all because that's not the type of hug he wanted and he isn't even sure if Joe wanted the hug or not. 

"See ya." Patrick smiles just as awkwardly as he felt the 'hug' to be, waving as he heads to his car.

"You too." Joe replies, watching him walk off. 

What the fuck just happened?


	10. ten [i thought i loved you]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning!: un-edited until further notice. I just really love this chapter and wanted to share it as soon as possible haha

"Mom." Patrick says, sitting at her kitchen table across from her with a cup of coffee in his hands.

This is the same kitchen table that has been the area of discussion for several important topics throughout Patrick's life- like when his parents gathered him and his siblings to explain that their grandma was dying, or voting on family vacations, then their parents' divorce, bringing up the topic of getting a dog, and then the topic of getting another dog, as well as other minor discussions such as what to do about a bully at school or when Karen got her first boyfriend, all the way to more recent topics like his sister-in-law's pregnancy. 

His parents are amicably divorced- which means his father is still always present at his mother's house during family gatherings now-a-days. They've gotten more comfortable with being in the same room as eachother over the years, which makes it so much easier on their kids and grandkids knowing that there's no pressure to 'pick a side'. 

But back on the table; this table has seen it all, and it's about to see the latest of Patrick's worries get flattened by his ever-so-wise mother who seems to know what to do in any situation. That's just how moms seem to be. Especially his. "I need your opinion on something."

"I was wondering when you were going to ask." his mother, Patricia states. "I had a feeling that you needed some guidance, but I wasn't going to say anything because the discussion of my garden seemed to distract you from it. And maybe that's what you needed."

"It did." Patrick laughs, "But I don't think I absolutely need to be distracted from this, it's really not too dire."

His mother was a lot like other older women in that aspect- gardens, owning a few cats, (their names were Bandit, Paisley and Coriander.) etc. etc. She even knitted her own curtains over the course of one Winter. 

"Do you mind if I take some of your pepper seeds?" his eyes turn to the small cup on the table labeled 'peppers'. Patrick could probably get a decent-sized flower pot to grow them on a windowsill in the apartment. He knows that Andy wouldn't mind that at all, and infact would probably end up taking over the routine of growing them, intentionally or not. 

"Of course not." she smiles, "Now, what's bothering you lately?"

"Well.." Patrick shrugs, "Not really bothering me too much. I'd just like your opinion or something.. Okay, so, I made a new friend."

"Oh, a friend?" she asks, "You seem to have a lot of those. You've always been nice to people, even if they don't really deserve it." 

Patrick laughs. She's definitely right there. Pete, Gabe, Andy and Travie are only his closer friends- besides them, he has tons, even if he hasn't spoken to them in a while. He definitely still considers them his friends. "Yeah." he smiles.

"So, I suppose this conversation is going to be about you and this friend, huh?" she takes a sip of her coffee and looks at Patrick. "Tell me more about them."

"His name's Joe," Patrick explains, his eyes lighting up. 

Patricia notices this immediately- he really likes this friend, doesn't he? 

"he just started as an EMT at the hospital I work at.. Well, okay, it's been a couple of weeks now I think." Patrick shakes his head. The length of time that Joe has been at the hospital isn't too relevant to the story, now is it? "But anyways," he continues, "he's really cool. We clicked immediately.. And somehow I tricked him into helping me with my own job." Patrick laughs, his face turning a rosy pink. "Not sure how, but.."

"Well that's good." Patricia says, non-chalantly as if she doesn't already know where this is going. She's seen plenty of people in love throughout her life to realize one when she sees them, and Patrick looks a lot like one of them. "He must be a nice guy if he's so willing to help you with your own job, on top of his own."

"Yeah!" Patrick nods, "We hung out for the first time outside of work yesterday."

"I imagine that went well, huh? You seem.."

"Happy about it?" Patrick interevenes. "Of course. But the thing is.." Patrick shifts around in his seat and laughs nervously. "I'm not trying to be... Oh, what's the word.. Conceided, I guess?"

"But?" she raises an eyebrow, wondering if he's going to even admit it.

"But I'm.. Pretty certain that he wants to.. Y'know, be in a relationship." Patrick bites his lip as he says that. The way he says it makes it sound more like a problem than he truly believes that it is. It really isn't, though. 

"I'm not going to ask what gives you that impression because if he's helping you around the lab willingly, that's usually a sign." Patricia states. "Well, how do you feel about that? I know you've never tried to pinpoint your orientation, but you've always seemed interested in women."

"That's it. " Patrick says, "I'm not bothered by it of course and he's being really.. Casual about it, I guess? He isn't forcing himself on me.." he sighs. "It's really nice. I feel comfortable."

His mother smiles. "Patrick.. You want to be more than just friends with this man, don't you?"

Patrick blushes. That's exactly what he was trying to figure out himself, but his mother seemed to have figured it out immediately. "I think so." he admits, smiling. "I really think so at this point. I feel stupid for trying to ask you how I feel, but-"

"But that's not what you're doing." she interrupts, "Talking about something can really help you figure out what you're going to do next."

"I think it did." Patrick says. 

It suddenly hits him- that moment of realization, that epiphany he had yesterday when it came to how Joe felt about him, except this time, it's finally the other way around. There's no shame in admitting it. It's love. It's a certain, deep fondness for another human being that drives him to want to do his absolute best to always be around that person. It's the same way he's felt towards previous love interests.

Of course, it will be a little different than before, and he isn't entirely sure how a relationship with another man would work for him, and Patrick doesn't want Joe to think that he's just his experiment. But he's old enough to know that using other men to experiment on isn't going to do any good because not only is Joe a totally different person than any of these other men in theory, but it'll probably just end up hurting him, and once again, that's the exact thing that Patrick's trying to avoid. "It really did.." 

He smiles to himself. Yeah. He is in love with Joe. 

Not just the concept of him- but everything about him. 

His ever-so-unique yet calming voice, the way he shrugs everything off of his shoulders as he lights up a cigarette, that little curl in his hair that always finds it's way to his forehead, his eyes when he talks about the things he loves, and though yesterday's awkward hug was the first time Patrick ever really... Touched him, he knows already that he loves the warmth of his body and the beating of his heart. 

It felt so safe, even though Joe wasn't even invested in the hug. But he knows why now. 

Now, as Patrick thinks of that last point, he feels a distinct longing to just pull Joe into his arms and never let him go. Shit. He doesn't have to experiment. He feels like the moment he's alone with Joe again, he'll know exactly where to take it. 

Patrick doesn't notice when tears begin to well up in his eyes, but his mother does and gives him a concerned look. "Baby, why the hell are you crying? What's wrong?"

"Shit, am I?" he asks, laughing at himself as he wipes the tears with the sleeve of his cardigan. "I didn't notice.." Patrick admits.

Nothing's wrong. The reason he's about to cry isn't a bad one- it's a beautiful reason, and that reason is that after around thirty-three years of just simply 'getting by', he feels like he finally knows what it is to be so sure of himself. "They're good tears." he states. "They're good, I swear."

Patricia extends her arm out to hold her son's hand. It's such a good feeling to watch your child realize just exactly who they are whether they're five or thirty-three, and she's so glad that she can watch him experience that right here at her kitchen table. 

"That's okay." she says. "Crying is human, and it doesn't always have to be a bad thing."

"Mom, I think I'm in love with him."

"If that's the way it has to be."


	11. eleven [11:11]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would be lying if I said that this chapter title and the bedroom thing weren't inspired by 11:11 by Waterparks.

"I've fallen in love with this house." Martha says as she organizes the dish cabinet for what seems like the 6th time since they unpacked the kitchen, completely oblivious to the fact that Sam is literally holding a small plastic game piece over a lighter flame in an ashtray at the kitchen table just to see it melt while Joe sits across from him, completely aware of what's going on, and doing absolutely nothing to stop it as he pops a xanax.

"We haven't yet had a single trouble with the electricity like we did back in Ohio, there's enough windows to let air throughout the entire place on nice days.." she continues as her youngest son's eyes reflect flames, watching the yellow plastic finally begin to morph. "Boys? Opinions?"

"I think I saw some ghosts." Joe replies jokingly, leaning forward to watch the game piece begin to melt into the ashtray. 

His mother just sighs. "Come on, don't you at least like the fact that there aren't any roaches here?"

"I miss the roaches." Sam smirks.

Martha suddenly gets the impression that Sam is currently doing something that he shouldn't and Joe's probably encouraging it. Raising Sam has been almost the exact same as raising Joe was because they're too much alike. She sees the parallels between them every day and it's kind of terrifying. 

Her suspicions raise even higher when she smells burning plastic, prompting her to turn around. "Samuel!" she yells, causing him to drop the half-melted game piece into the ashtray, as well as the lighter on the table. Joe moves his hand over and slides the lighter towards himself so it isn't thrown away or something.

"I was doing it in the ashtray, it's not like it was on the carpet or something." the youngest argues.

Martha rubs the bridge of her nose and sighs. "Have you done your homework?"

"Not yet." Sam shrugs.

"It's going on eleven, don't you want to graduate in a few months?" she scolds.

"I mean, yeah-"

"Then get on it!" 

Sam huffs and gets up to head to his room, his mother's glare following him all the way up. Once he's gone, she then turns that glare to her oldest son.

"It was in the ashtray." Joe seconds with a smirk.

"You haven't been any help at all with raising him." she says, crossing her arms. "What if he sat the table on fire?"

Joe shrugs. "I'm sorry, it's not my job to be his parent?"

"You know, you're a lot older than him compared to most siblings, Joseph. And you're old enough to be raising your own children at this point, so I would expect you to atleast put your foot down every now and then."

"He has a father for that, I'm just his brother." Joe shrugs.

"And? You can never have enough adults when it comes to raising a teenager."

"I'm not ready to take on any responsibility over another human being." Joe admits, "I'm a fucking dumbass. I've never taken care of anything in my life! I mean, atleast he's not sneaking out to have sex with older men like I used to."

Martha closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before she returns to organizing the cabinet. "Don't say that about yourself, I'd appreciate if you started having more confidence, it's greatly needed on your part."

Joe sneaking out and having sex with older men in local hardcore bands was definitely a major issue back when he was around Sam's age. The amount of times that he came home either beat up or having a bad reaction to some street drug he'd never tried before was rather concerning and no matter what she and Mark tried to keep him from fucking around, he still found a way to get around them.

"Sorry." Joe says as he grabs the lighter and his xanax bottle. He gets half-way upstairs before she stops him.

"Wait..." she shakes her head. "You're right.. Atleast, I hope you are."

"About.."

"The.. Older men thing.. You were already at risk for simply being gay at that time and the places you hung out doubled that. I was terrified that something worse was going to happen to you."

"I made it." Joe says, leaning over the railing. "I think."

Martha starts to say something else, but before she can, the doorbell rings. She turns to the front door with a confused look on her face. Who would be here this late? 

"Can you see who that is?" she asks. 

Joe nods and heads back down the staircase to answer the door. 

It's dark outside (obviously), so he doesn't see anything when he tries to look through the little peep-hole, but he opens it anyways. 

"Well, looks like my 11:11 wish came true." he says with a sly smirk as he stares at the man on the doostep.

"Hi." Patrick smiles nervously. "I remembered you told me once that you lived in this yellow and red house right past that brick building, and uhh.. Sorry... Am I interrupting something?" 

Patrick's fidgeting right now. He just needed a good excuse to see Joe somewhere that wasn't at work after his revelation earlier in the night. He just wanted to make sure those feelings were still there when he actually did see his face- and boy were they. He still realizes how creepy it probably seems that he just showed up out of nowhere without warning. 

And even more embarassing- he can see Joe's mother (atleast he's pretty sure that's her) in the corner of his eye. How awkward would it be to confess his feelings right here? Extremely.

If he weren't so far into his impulsive plan, he'd flee.

"Um, don't be." Joe shakes his head. "You're fine." 

Patrick showing up at his door isn't a bad thing at all, but he's confused as to why exactly he'd be here so late. He's never came over before, nor did he text beforehand. Atleast, Joe doesn't think he did- maybe he missed it? "What's up?"

"Um.." now comes the part where he has to pull a decent enough excuse out of his ass- one that doesn't make him sound like a total fucking creep. The older woman in the kitchen is approaching him now. Fuck.

"Is this one of your co-workers?" Martha asks as Patrick continues to shuffle around nervously.

"Uhh Kinda! My name's Patrick, I'm-"

"Oh! I've heard about you!" Martha beams, "You're the lab guy! Come on in, why don't you? I'd imagine it's kind of cold out there."

Patrick blinks and accepts the invitation. She doesn't seem too opposed to him showing up, which is a huge relief.

"So, y'know, this is my mom." Joe says as she shakes Patrick's hand.

"You can just call me Martha." she chirps.

"Nice to meet you, Martha." Patrick smiles. 

"Well, I guess you came here to see him, so I'll just be in the kitchen if you need anything." she smiles before turning to leave. Before she does, however, she leans in and whispers "I like him." into Joe's ear as if Patrick isn't standing right there.

"I like her too." Patrick says. Of course he heard her whispering. "But, um, I came here to.." Patrick sighs and looks at his feet. "Can we... Talk?"

"Sure." Joe shrugs. If it weren't for the xanax kicking in right now, he'd probably be freaking out and thinking that this was about yesterday's mishap.

Well, okay, he still feels like that's what it's about and is already crossing his fingers that Patrick doesn't think he's a complete fuck-up, but he wouldn't come to his house to tell him that where his parents and brother also live, would he? He'd have the decency to have broken the news earlier.. Right? "Wanna go to my room?" Joe then asks. 

Maybe Patrick's answer to that would dictate if that were the case or not.

"Um, if you don't mind." Patrick nods. "I'm.. So sorry that I just showed up out of nowhere.. Really, I wasn't thinking." 

Fuck. There went trying to think up a stupid excuse. He's already agreed to going to his room, so maybe it's best to just be straight-forward by now. He owes that much to him.. But then again, didn't Joe owe it to him to tell him how he felt in the beginning too? Did he even know that he liked Patrick then? Is Patrick just being too sure of himself and jumping the gun? What if Joe just meant what he said in a more platonic way? There he goes again, getting ahead of things.

"Don't worry, it was a pleasant surprise for sure." Joe replies, leading Patrick upstairs. "I'm just kinda' concerned as to why you went through the trouble of finding me at this hour.. It sounds important."

"Kinda, I mean, I'd rather not talk about it at work, y'know?" Patrick laughs nervously. 

"Yeah, I get it."

"I still should've texted you, though.."

"Well," Joe says as he pushes the door of his room further open than the crack that he must've left it in earlier, "you're already here, so why think about it?"

Patrick shrugs. He's right.

"Spill." Joe turns on the light and gestures for Patrick to sit on the foot of his bed. 

"Well," the blonde starts, "first of all, I'd like to say that you're not very organized."


	12. twelve

"Oh, so you just came here to tell me how much of a slob I am?" Joe asks, "Is that, like, it?"

"No!" Patrick replies immediately, trying not to laugh. "But, I mean, while I'm here... Come on, man, that cup has to be growing it's own eco system."

"Out!" Joe says jokingly as Patrick bursts into laughter. "It's empty, okay? I don't leave fucking coffee just lying around my room to mold, that's disgusting. Leave me alone."

"That's no way to treat your guests!"

"Oh, I'm sorry.." Joe rolls his eyes. "Would you please leave." he corrects, putting a sarcastic emphasis on the fake 'please'.

"Better." Patrick smiles. "Jokes aside, though, this is kinda' serious."

"Hmm?" Joe sits next to Patrick, waiting for him to start whatever 'serious' conversation it could be. Is it about the hug? Or something totally irrelevant to that situation? It suddenly feels like Patrick knows more about him than he thinks and it's beginning to worry him. 

"I like you." Patrick says bluntly. "I know I've probably said that before, but I really, really mean it."

"Even after yesterday?" Joe questions. "I like you too." 

"Yeah." Patrick says, hoping that his next choice of words aren't presumptious or just downright narcissistic. "I know that. And not to inflate my ego, but I feel like you like me a lot."

Joe realizes that he's just going to have to face it- it was only a matter of time before Patrick caught on. He's not stupid, and the signs have been obvious. 

Joe's head-over-heels, so be it. He's felt like that before. He's just not going to say it out loud because making Patrick uncomfortable in any way is the last thing he wants to do. Joe can live with not being Patrick's plus one, that's fine. He's completely at peace with that. As long as he just knows that he's going to be around for a while and that he can lean on him if neccesary.

But this isn't kidnegarden- it isn't a matter of "like" or "like like" or even "like like like". They're grown ass men, so there's no need in dancing around the fact.

"Yeah, I do." Joe admits. "I like you a lot, Patrick, and I often think about holding your hand." 

Confirmation. 

"Okay." Patrick nods. "If that's the way it has to be.. I, uh, had an epiphany earlier.. And that epiphany was... That I wouldn't mind that.. 'Cause you're the same person inside and outside of the lab, or atleast from what I've collected so far. I think I'm starting to know you."

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Joe asks as he picks a random white thread off of his black jeans. It seemed to have came out of nowhere. "I can be myself around you.. And you gave me that version of yourself that I met a few weeks ago yesterday."

"Yeah, the same." Patrick replies, "And I hope so.. I hope I'm giving you the best version of myself."

"You don't have to, I'd still like you either way, y'know?" 

"I hope you know the same goes for you too.." Patrick cracks his knuckles collectively before turning around. "I wanna propose something.. Like, I know it hasn't been that long, but you gotta' admit there's something here, and I want to be with you... A lot."

Joe turns around to look Patrick in the eyes. It just hits him that Patrick's admitting to liking him possibly the same way too. Holy shit. "Yeah?" 

"Please be patient with me here.. I've never liked another man the way I like you, and it's not that's scary, but.. It's different, okay?" Patrick bites his bottom lip while it curves into a smile. He came down from the high and rush of his earlier realization a while ago, and now it's sinking into him that there's a difference between loving the idea of someone and genuinely loving them. It could be the former, it could be the latter, but there's really only one way to find out- and that would be to see how deep this could get.

Joe never thought this would happen- he wasn't expecting it, and he definitely wasn't looking for it to. But what if Patrick was just doing this because he didn't like the tension? What if he was subconsciously making Patrick think that he just had to be in a relationship with him? Was he guilting him? His mind starts racing. Is this really what he wants?

"I wanna' see where dating would get us." Patrick states as he takes Joe's right hand in his, which simutaneously causes Joe's uncertainy about the situation to fade. Joe pinpoints the exact moment when everything falls into place- when the warmth of Patrick's hand starts transferring over to his and vice versa as they lock eyes. That's it. That's the exact moment. 

That is what he wants, and the look in Patrick's eyes says that it's what he genuinely wants, too. It's mutual.

"Me too." he says as he holds Patrick's hand up, staring at the way their fingers are intertwined. This only causes Patrick to clasp on tighter. 

"Your hand is shaking. Calm down." 

Joe didn't even realize his hand was shaking, but apparently it is. "Sorry."

"Don't be, it's fine." Patrick smiles. "So that's a yes?" 

"Definitely." Joe replies immediately. "I'm yours.. And even if it doesn't work out, just know that I'll always be around if you need me.. Okay?"

"Of course. You too... But.." he trails off and lets go of Joe's hand. "I feel a little awkward now, like, what am I supposed to do? Sneak out your window? Your mom's right there."

"Fuck no, my family's gonna' think you went missing in this disastrous room." 

"Oh, so you're admitting that it's a wreck?" Patrick teases.

"Fine, fine." Joe sighs before turning back over to Patrick. "Well... You wanna go do something? I mean, sure, it's late, but.."

"The city never sleeps." Patrick states. "We could get an icee and see where that takes us. Arcade, my apartment.. It could be our first official date. Whatd'ya say?"

"You know what? Yeah. Let's do it." 

Neither are really thinking about how quickly they ended up where they are right now, but sometimes shit happens quickly. This must be one of those things.


	13. thirteen

"Last night was probably the most fun I've had in a long time. I've gotta' hand that to you." Patrick states as he presses in the '6' on the elevator keypad. 

It had occured to him that morning that he was already dating this guy, (something he truly never expected to say), but Joe had yet to meet any of his friends. So why not start introducing him? 

First off was Travie, since they worked in/for the same building and Patrick has been meaning to introduce them anyways. Then he knows he'll taking him to his apartment soon enough to meet Andy, and probably by extension Pete because he's almost always lingering around if he isn't working or if Gabe's working.

"Oh yeah?" Joe asks, leaning up against the elevator walls. "Enough fun to warrant a second, actual date?"

"What do you mean actual?" Patrick asks, raising an eyebrow as the reflective doors close. "Was that not an actual date?"

Joe laughs and shakes his head. "Okay, let me re-phrase that for you; a romantic one... Not, like, going to the 7-11 and then the 24-hour arcade down the street kinda' date.. I mean with flowers and candles and-"

"You smooth operator!" Patrick yells in a humorous manner, spinning around on his heels. He would love more than anything to be romantically 'wooed' by the ever-so-romantic Joseph Trohman, but he knows he has to keep his calm and take it slow- there's no reason to rush into this, no matter how badly he wants to. They need to know eachother a little better first and see where it's going. He'd hate to go in so strong and then burn out just as soon as they went in for the kill. Not to mention, he's still a little nervous. He's never liked a man this way. "But nothing romantic." he points his left finger at Joe and eyeballs him as he says that. "I wanna' take it slow, okay?"

"Nothing wrong with that." Joe smiles. 

He really didn't intend on getting that fancy this early on anyways. That was mostly a joke, and he's sure that Patrick knows it was. He honestly prefers to take it slow, anyways.

Last night was definitely a blast, however, and it was really nice to see Patrick's face light up as he hit a lucky streak at a gacha machine, and then to watch that cheerful expression turn into a smug smile of pure determination as he blasted some aliens' brains out in a space-type shooter game. 

On top of that, to set whatever kind of... Mood was being conveyed last night, the radio station that the arcade was playing insisted on playing 'Heat Of The Moment' by Asia atleast twice.

"Thank you." Patrick smiles sincerely. "It means a lot."

"Just let me know if I ever make you uncomfortable, okay?"

"Of course. You too, of course. I imagine that you have boundaries too, y'know.." Patrick bites his lip and places a gentle hand on Joe's shoulder that causes him to blush slightly. 

He honestly can't help it- every single thing that Patrick does just makes his heart smile, and when he makes nice gestures like that to him, it causes it to skip a beat or two.

"Woah! What did the elevator bring me today?" Travie yells. 

The sudden appearance of a third voice causes Patrick to back up via instinct without thinking, which causes him to bump into the taller man while doing so. Patrick, nor Joe (who's watching his potential boyfriend moon-walk into his friend with an amused smirk on his face) even noticed when the elevator doors opened. 

Travie laughs slightly and helps Patrick to gain his balance again as Joe gets out of the elevator. 

Once he's back to proper footing, Patrick turns around to face Travie. "Sorry, man, I kinda' forgot that we were in an elevator, on our way up here.."

"Oh, I see." Travie smiles and nods. "Want me to put you back in there? Need some more time alone?" 

Joe can't help but laugh at their own misfortune, which causes Travie to raise his eyebrows. "See? He gets me." Travie laughs, "I'm right, aren't I?"

"KInda, yeah." Joe replies.

"It's not what you think!" Patrick interrupts. "I mean, we were having a moment, but it wasn't like that."

"I'm going to go out on a limb and say that this is Travie?" Joe asks.

"You catch on quick." Travie replies, reaching his hand out, which Joe shakes immediately. "I already know a thing or two about you. Your name's Joe, and you spend your free time following this little guy around." Travie gestures to Patrick after their handshake.

It then hits Patrick that he hasn't even began to do what he came up here to do- introduce them to eachother. But it also appears that they seem to be doing that without him pretty damn well already.

"Dude, no way. You gotta' be a psychic or something." Joe laughs. 

He doesn't even try to hide it anymore- he knows the truth. He's just a sucker, a sap, a lovesick puppy. Nothing wrong with that.

"Well, that, and.. Patrick told me." Travie smiles with a slight shrug. "It's cute though, you're cute together."

"Not as cute as you." Patrick shoots back, leaning against the wall behind him.

"He's right." Joe agrees.

"Oh, stop it!" Travie laughs. "So you're.. You know.." Travie focuses his eyes back and forth between the two for emphasis on what he's getting at.

"In a way." Joe replies, looking at Patrick in hopes he answered correctly. 

Patrick nods in response to the feeling of Joe's warm icy blues casting a glance over at him. (talk about an oxymoron) "We're, uh, gonna' see where dating gets us." He then states. "Taking it slow, y'know..."

"That's always smart." Travie says, "I wish you the best of luck, though, seriously." he smiles, "If there's one thing I regret in my past relationships, it would be how quickly I rushed into them."

"Yeah." Patrick replies, "The same." 

"So.. Remember what I said about karaoke night?" Travie then asks, now that he's 'met' Joe.

Patrick smirks up at him. "How could I forget?" Patrick then turns to Joe, who's obviously confused about the 'karaoke' ordeal. "Joe. Karaoke night?"

"I don't sing, but.."

"You will." Travie laughs, of course not genuinely implying that he'd force it on him. "If you're both off Thursday night.." 

"Then I'd love to." Joe states, way quicker than Patrick expected. "I can't hit a note for shit, but I bet you guys totally could."

"Hell yeah we can." Patrick states. "As if it's even an assumption."

"Right?" Travie seconds. 

"But yeah, that sounds great!" Patrick says. "I really do miss the days when we composed our own tunes, though, shit.." he laughs, "I really need to get my gear back together."

"Dude, we were unstoppable back then." Travie agrees, "If we could make it big on Soundcloud or something, we could quit our jobs and live off of royalties for the rest of our lives." he jokes, as if he'd actually give up his job as an art therapist. It could still work as a hobby, though.

Patrick laughs as he thinks of the possibility. Of course, not seriously- he and Travie are both pretty engulfed in their jobs at this point. They really wouldn't have it any other way. It definitely brings him back to the mid 2000s though when they would host their own jam sessions.

"If you need a manger, I could offer up my skills..." Joe proposes.

"Sold!" Travie yells, "I really don't know what managers do, but if you do, have right at it. That's teamwork!"

"So, Thursday night?" Patrick asks again to confirm the possibility of their plans.

"Thursday night." Travie repeats, "If not, then we can shoot for Friday."

"Sweet." Joe says, "I can't wait to see you two in action with what you, y'know.. Do."

"Alright, I gotta' get my workspace together for my clients." Travie says, "See you later, though. And it was nice to meet you Joe, Patrick beams over you."

"Beams?" he asks, smiling. "You too, man, and yeah, he beams about you as well."

"Aw." 

"What can I say?" Patrick asks, "I love you both."

\---

"Alright, babe, I'm going home." Joe says, albeit jokingly. (Unless Patrick's comfortable with being called babe at this point, in which case he 100% meant that.) "I don't wanna' be a distraction from your job, 'cause fraternizing in the workplace is a big deal."

Patrick pouts jokingly before pulling Joe into a hug. "Be careful on the road....." he lets a smile form across his face. "babe."

"Will do. You be careful in the lab, too, y'know? Explosions happen every day."

"Don't remind me." Patrick smirks. "Please do get some rest before your shift, though, alright?"

"I'll try." 

Patrick pulls himself out of the hug. "Oh, what's your opinion on Travie? I gotta know."

"I love him!" Joe replies immediately, "He's cool as fuck. I'm really looking forward to hanging out with him."

"Thought you'd say that." Patrick laughs, "I know, though, we've been friends for fucking eons."

"Well, I can see why. You have that.. Chemistry, y'know?" 

"You could say that, yeah." 

"Well I'm off." Joe states. "Keep in touch, y'know.."

"Mhmm. Maybe tomorrow you can meet Andy." Patrick says, "Or if we have time between when I get off and when you go in."

"I'll be looking forward to it." Joe starts to head to the elevator and waves as he does. 

Patrick waves back before turning to the lab. "Fuck." he whispers to himself, heading inside. "I love that dude."


	14. fourteen

"Do you always take your girlfriends to meet all of your friends within the first two days of dating?" Joe asks as he watches Patrick open the door to his apartment.

"Maybe." Patrick replies with a smirk. "But you're prettier than all of them."

"Even when I'm covered in blood?" Joe asks, blinking his eyes and folding his hands for emphasis as he jokingly sticks his bottom lip out.

"Especially." Patrick says, leading him into his apartment.

"Well, look what the cat dragged in." Andy says fondly once they walk in as he sits on the couch across from Pete and Gabe while he plays uno with the latter. Cards are spread out all over the coffee table, and Pete's too busy rubbing his face against Gabe to participate in the game, but he's there in spirit. 

"Stump man!" Gabe exclaims, looking over. As he does, he makes eye contact with Joe, who winks as a natural reflex. Gabe then leans in and whispers "Is that the love interest?" to Pete, who smirks at the question.

"I believe so." Pete replies, "If not, still, nice to meet you."

Patrick rolls his eyes with a smirk. He should've known that Pete's already blabbed to Gabe about his latest budding romance, but he really doesn't care at this point- they were all going to find out sooner or later.

"Andy, Pete, Gabe.. This is Joe." Patrick smiles, grabbing Joe's wrist to hold up his hand. 

"You're real." Andy laughs, as if Patrick would lie about him. "Nice to meet you!"

"Yeah," Joe shrugs, "I think.. Nice to meet you too, though." he smiles sincerely, "Did we interrupt anything?"

"Just Gabey baby getting his ass beat at Uno." Pete replies, nudging his boyfriend jokingly.

"Oh shit. Wouldn't wanna miss that." Patrick says.

"I'm only losing because you're a distraction." Gabe says, pushing Pete off of him jokingly.

"Think that'll be us one day?" Joe asks, turning to Patrick.

"Nah," Patrick replies, "I'd like to say I'm more..." Patrick bites his lip. "Professional, and, uh, less distracted than Gabe."

"Less distracted!?" Gabe argues, hearing in on Patrick and Joe's discussion. "If anything you're one of the most easily-distracted guys I know! We could be talking about, like, the weather and one word sets you off into a conversation about the teenage mutant ninja turtles."

"Shut up!" Patrick yells back. 

Gabe knows he isn't seriously mad, that's just the way they operate. Pete nor Andy seem to be worried about the situation either, but to add emphasis on his transparent charade, Patrick grabs Joe's arm and starts to move. "I'm taking my boyfriend to my room." he states. 

Joe shrugs and follows him to his room, wavering a peace sign at the group in the livingroom. This is his life now.

"And we're going to have wild sex!" Patrick yells, half-way up the hall.

"Yellow nine." Andy says, trying not to laugh at the most recent, petty argument between Gabe and Patrick. They've always been like that for as long as Andy can remember.

"Fuck you." Gabe snarls, drawing from an uno card pile on the coffee table.

-

"Now you've met my four main pals." Patrick says, turning the light on in his room. 

"It was very brief but they're cool, too." Joe replies. 

Patrick's room is a lot neater than his own (as are a lot of other bedrooms), and is infact pretty cozy looking. Sure, there's some clothes here and there, but it's nowhere near comparable to his own. Atleast there isn't an eco system growing in a coffee cup on the dresser.

"We could go back if you want." Patrick states, "I was just kinda' fucking with Gabe, but I did kind of want to show you my nest."

"I like it in here." Joe says, "It's... Clean."

Patrick laughs. Considerably, yeah, if he does say so himself. "Thanks. I like to move around. Take a seat." he gestures to his bed with a smile.

"Hey, we're not.. Actually gonna' fuck, right?" Joe asks as he accepts the invitation and looks up. 

Patrick would smirk at the question if he didn't sound totally, 100% serious. "Nah," he replies, "I was just being an ass. But.. Sorry.. If you wanted to."

"No!" Joe says almost immediately. "No, no, not unless you absolutely wanted to.. I don't really" now he just sounds completely opposed to the possibility of ever having that kind of relationship with Patrick, which wasn't what he intended on. "Ugh, okay. I am attracted to you, don't think otherwise, it's just.."

"Shh." Patrick shushes, beginning to regret making that joke. "I know, calm down. We're taking it slow." he smiles. 

And just like that, Joe's flustering is put to ease. "Good. I like you a lot and I want this to be perfect."

Patrick smiles at the reassurance, but he also doesn't want it to seem like this whole 'dating' thing has to be absolutely flawless. 

That's putting unnecesary pressure on the both of them and that's the last thing he wants, and it's obviously the exact opposite of what they're going for. He definitely sees where Joe is coming from, however, because he genuinely wants the same.

"It won't be perfect." he states calmly, "Nothing is. We're human.. But I do hope that this is a positive experience for the both of us. Hurting you is the last thing I want to do."

"Trust me, Patrick," Joe says, "I don't think anyone can really hurt me at this point, but I will try my absolute fucking best to prevent doing anything to even hurt you in the slightest." 

Joe honestly plans on never, ever hurting Patrick- it's the furthest thing from his mind, and ever since the day they met, he swore to himself that he would protect Patrick from anything else that could possibly threaten harm apon him.

But he realizes that he holds the potential to do awful things- just like every other person on this earth. 

Infact, sometimes Joe feels as if he's a ticking time bomb just waiting to go off and cause collateral damage, even if it is accidental. 

He knows that he's bound to snap one day, some way or another. It's just unrealistic to stay numb for so long considering what he has to see on the daily. He's had to keep cool during nearly all of the most nerve-wrecking situations that a human being can be in, and it's been years since he's actually been truly shaken from something he's witnessed. 

Joe just really, really hopes that when he does finally snap, it doesn't manifest its self into anger towards Patrick. He doesn't deserve that. 

"So, how was your day?" he asks, looking up at Patrick.

"Oh my God!" Patrick exclaims, turning around and falling next to Joe on his bed. 

He can't tell if that's good or bad, but he can't help but smile to himself once Patrick finds his way next to him.

"Where do I start?" he says as he turns to face Joe, beaming an even wider smile once he's met with a pair of intrigued eyes.

Is everything that comes out of his mouth really that interesting? Patrick honestly never thought he'd meet someone as interested in his words as he is (if not more), but he's not going to complain by no means. 

Well, about the fact that Joe's so interested in his rants and raves, that is- he is going to complain about his job, however, because sometimes it can get a little infuriating, and he's more than certain that Joe can understand that. "Um, you know what? I think I'm going to need my cinnamon schnapps to get into this."

"Damn, is it really that bad?" Joe asks softly, running a hand through his hair- it must be if Patrick's talking about breaking out alcohol.

"Yeah." Patrick replies, getting up and walking over to his dresser where a brand new, unopened bottle of cinnamon schnapps sits. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that I just.. You know, talk your ear off."

Joe shrugs. "You gotta' vent about things when you have a job. I get it."

"Thank you." Patrick sighs in relief, "Do you like cinnamon schnapps?"

"I've never tried it," Joe explains, "but I do like how fun it is to say."

"Right?" Patrick laughs, "I love cinnamon, and I love the way schnapps just.. Rolls off your tongue." he twists the cap open and offers the first swig to his company, who takes it in his right hand and takes a whiff of it before he even takes a drink. "Schnapps." Patrick repeats as Joe takes his first swig.

"That's cinnamon alright. I like it." Joe says, handing the bottle back to him. "Cinnamon... Schnapps."

"Dude, I love the way it sounds in your voice." Patrick smiles before taking a long swig and falling back into his previous position next to Joe. "Alright, so.."

"You like my voice? Or just the way that word sounds in it?" Joe asks, laughing softly, kind of sweet and nervously.

"Both." Patrick replies, facing Joe with a soft smile as he hands him back the bottle. "I really do love your voice, y'know? You should use it more." his voice is sincere and gentle. Joe's left speechless for a good second, contrary to Patrick's suggestion as his cheeks turn to a light rosy shade. The bottle neck in his fingers seems to melt away as he swears that his head's elsewhere right now. 

"Schnapps." he finally brings himself to say (much to Patrick's amusement) as he takes another swig.


	15. fifteen

An hour later and atleast 100 more repeats of the word 'schnapps' between the two of them, Patrick and Joe are both a little tipsy as they find themselves babbling about not only their jobs, but anything else that happens to come up in their conversation, only further proving Gabe's point of how Patrick tends to get distracted easily. 

But it doesn't count right now- he's intoxicated, and so is Joe, who appears to be fighting tooth and nail just to stay awake as he goes on about something that happened the other day during a call, even though he's sort of incoherent right now.

As Patrick notices this while taking another drink from the bottle, he kind of feels a little guilty for dragging him out of bed and then all the way out here after he pulled a 20-hour shift and not even offering to take him back home before they both became too impaired to drive. 

Too late now, though. Patrick's accepted his fate of having Joe passed out either on his floor or in his bed sometime tonight. He supposes that's just how it has to be. 

"On top of that, Alex was about to throw up or somethin' an' not only did we have Lazzara up our ass, but they sent another paramedic ahead of us 'cause it was serious shit." the taller of the two babbles as he rubs his eyes. 

"What's.. Like... The worst condition you can be in during work?" Patrick asks, "Cause if we even entertain the thought of showing up to work with a fever, we could be fired."

"I've heard," Joe nods, "Contamination?"

"Yes." Patrick says as he hands Joe the bottle. "We have to stay really clean to get accurate readings, y'know?"

"Guess it gets up to the point where you can't think straight." Joe shrugs, taking the bottle in his hands again. "Ne'er really had to find out." he then just hands it back to Patrick instead of taking another drink. 

Patrick examines the bottle- it is nearly empty after all, he should probably stop himself too. "Well, sorry for bringing you out here and not taking you home, but you can crash with me, right?"

"If you want me to."

"I do. I wouldn't mind at all." Patrick smiles. "My bed's pretty big.. We can share, right?"

"Mhmm." Joe hums in agreement. "Again, if you're comfortable."

"Totally." Patrick replies, "I share beds with my other friends a lot. I used to have to share a bed with my brother when he came home from college, actually." he laughs, getting up and setting the bottle on his dresser.

"Fuck, really?" Joe asks, "I've slept on the floor to avoid sharing a bed with mine."

Patrick starts laughing harder. 

Joe rubs his eyes again. "No, but really, it's kinda' weird 'cause I'm a lot older than him. It's just.. weird."

Patrick nods in understanding as he walks back over and runs a hand through his hair. "I don't wanna go to work if I'm hungover in the morning." he says, "God, I hate working hungover.. I think I'm going in later. I dunno... Do you want me to turn the light out?"

"Whatever floats your boat." Joe shrugs. "I'm just freeloading."

Patrick starts laughing once again. "You're not freeloading, I kidnapped you to meet my loser friends." he says as he approaches the main light.

"Losers?" Joe laughs, "If anything, I'm the loser 'cause I can hardly stay awake past 11 PM on days like this."

"Not your fault." Patrick reassures as he turns off the light. "You have a fucked up schedule.. Now turn on that lamp."

"Okay, well.." Joe uses the moonlight faintly shining through Patrick's window to get up and walk over to the lamp on his nightstand. "You can kidnap me any time."

"Good." Patrick says with that smile that just makes those imaginary butterflies inside of Joe's figurative guts flutter around. Or maybe they're moths... Probably moths if you wanted to compare them aesthetically. "Cause Sam was more than willing to let me go through with it."

Joe scoffs. "What good he would be if someone with intentions different to yours wanted to do anything to me, huh?" he turns back around to face Patrick, who still holds that smirk on his face. "The kid would sell me out for a fruit snack found on the carpet of a minivan."

Patrick laughs at Joe's exaggerated statement before he notices the way the low lighting of the lamp seems to bounce off of his eyes in just the right way- his whole face, really just seems to glow. 

Patrick stops laughing immediately and takes in the other man's natural beauty as he watches him sit back down on his bed- the dark circles attached to his face included in said 'beauty'. It's crazy how attracted to Joe he finds himself. 

"Didn't your mother ever tell you not to stare?" Joe laughs nervously as he walks over to the other side of the bed. Make no mistake- Patrick looks beautiful when he's intrigued with something, but it's kind of concerning to Joe when he seems to be the thing he's staring at. "Come on, I know I look 50."

"That's not it." Patrick says as he shakes his head and approaches the side of the bed opposite to the one his company is sitting on.

"60?" Joe asks, doing the same. "70."

"80." Patrick jokes, "But really, no."

"Well, whatever it is," Joe says as he curls up, staying above the covers. He's used to taking his pants off, but he's not going to do that until he knows Patrick's comfortable, and as of current, he's just too tired to really care. "I've probably thought worse about myself."

Patrick smiles softly and sympathetically as he crawls up under his covers. "It's nothing bad. Sorry."

"Mm. Okay.. " his eyes close as soon as he finds the position he's most comfortable in. "Night, Patrick. Thanks for letting me sleep here.." of course, Joe would sleep underneath Patrick's bed if it meant he got to even be in the same room as him- anything. He'd take it. 

"Goodnight, sleepyhead." Patrick says as he leans over to turn the lamp off. Once he does, he rolls over to face Joe, who already seems to have conked out. 

Once again, thanks to the dim lighting of the moon in his window, Patrick finds himself staring at Joe's face, because even when his eyes are closed, he's still incredibly attractive, and honestly? Even more so. He's in his most natural form, and Patrick couldn't feel safer. He wants to kiss him so bad, but they promised to take things slow. 

Maybe he should be sleeping too, but it seems as if the only thing he can do to really keep his mind off of the impulse is sing. He needs a little practice in before tomorrow night, anyways, right? The first thing that comes off of the top of his head is a song that he heard on the radio earlier. Whatever works. He just hopes it doesn't wake Joe up as he takes a slight breath.

"We walk the transit streets 'til you find me.. 'Til we finally meet.." Patrick sings as softly and quietly as possible before he bites his lip, turning his eyes back onto Joe. It doesn't seem to be waking him up, atleast he isn't saying anything. "You've got to die for something beautiful, diamonds break our aching minds, elegance is turning us sober.." Patrick stops again once he notices a smile forming on Joe's face. 

"Go on." he mutters. Patrick's voice is.... Soulful? Would that be the right word to descibe it? Sure.. Maybe.. Well, whatever it is, it's really nice and Joe enjoys it's presence just as well as Patrick himself. Now he can finally say that he's heard him sing.

"Everytime I see your face at night," he continues a little louder, which allows his singing voice to actually reach it's full extent. "moving slowly through the wanted lights, watermarks illuminate your eyes.." Patrick stops again and shifts around slightly. "Hey, Joe?"

"Mm?"

"I know we wanted to take this slow... But.."

"'S the booze." Joe states, regaurding whatever Patrick wants to do next. 

"You're right." he agrees. It's the booze. Why has he never wanted to do it that strongly before? 

"Well.. What did you want to do?" Joe then asks, eyes still closed. "I may be drunk, but if you touch me I'll freak the fuck out an' not 'cause of you."

"I wanted to kiss you." Patrick says, "I still want to kiss you, but.. Y'know, nevermind. Go back to sleep."

Well, shit. Now Joe kind of (scratch kind of, he really..) feels like a total jerk. 

All Patrick wanted to do was to kiss him, not start fucking him or something. Was that a little conceided on his end? Or was he just freaking out over nothing? A little bit of both, but he wishes that he didn't say that. 

"If you want to, do it."

Patrick does. He really, really wants to. "Please forgive me." he says before leaning over and leaving a slight peck on Joe's forehead, but Joe tilts his head which causes their noses to touch and their lips to meet. 

Definitely not accidental.

"Thanks." Patrick laughs.

"No, thank you." Joe insists before leaning back over, pressing his lips up against Patrick's again. He can feel a smile form across Patrick's lips, which must mean that he's doing something right.

And those slight suspicions are confirmed once Patrick brings a hand up to pull him in closer. 

Now they're in the middle of a make-out session only two days into their relationship. 

So much for taking it slow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song that Patrick tried to start singing was 'Die For Something Beautiful' by Palaye Royale. They're quickly becoming my favorite band and I've loved that song for a while now haha.
> 
> Also! I know this is going by rather fast, but it IS a 'love at first sight' kind of thing plus I have another story planned out that goes along with this one, it's not really about Patrick and Joe's relationship but it is in the same universe.


	16. sixteen

A crowded bar, the hard glow of neon lights and the sound of billiard balls forcing eachother into holes is actually one of Patrick's favorite backdrops as he sits at a table, his eyes altering between the karaoke stage, Travie's smile, the bottle of beer infront of him and Joe's arm draped loosely over his shoulder. 

"So, what are you feeling tonight?" Travie asks, "It looks like they've added a few more tracks since our last visit."

"I dunno', they're all tempting." Patrick replies, "What about you?"

"Oh, you want me to make a decision?" Travie laughs, "Alright, fine.. We're doing this together, right?"

"Of course." Patrick replies.

"You gonna join us?" Travie asks, looking over at Joe.

"I told you, I... Don't." Joe insists. "I'm just here to hang out with you guys, really."

"That's fine." Travie says. He isn't going to hold Joe to it by no means, but he does enjoy his company. As the night progresses, he's beginning to realize why Patrick even started hanging out with him to begin with- he's a natural fit into their little circle.

But then again, if Patrick's happy, he's happy. The only time he'd see a problem would be if Joe was hurting his 'miniature Daryl Hall' in any way, and judging by their faces when they walked in, that wasn't an issue.

"You can get up there next time if you want." he suggests- singing is one of Travie's favorite things- it's definitely up there with art. 

Well, according to him, music is art. And he's definitely right there. 

"But.... For tonight.." Travie looks over at Patrick and winks, signaling that he's made his mind up. The 1981 hit he's landed on has been stuck in his head for the past week and he's bound and determined to get it out. He's even found himself humming it during art therapy sessions, which very rarely gets a rise from the kids. It's usually adults around his age or older that catch on. Whatever.

Patrick smiles. There's honestly no telling what song Travie's got his mind set on right now- it could be quite literally anything, and anything is just what he's up for. 

"We're doing Jessie's Girl." Travie proudly announces, a grin following with.

"Jessie's Girl?" Patrick asks with a laugh, "It's been years since I've heard that song, man."

"How?" Joe asks, perking up once he hears the title of the song that his date partners are about to hit. "Seriously, Patrick?"

"Are you kidding?!" Travie seconds, "Do you never hear it on the radio? You're listening to the wrong stations then!"

"Yeah, and you mean to tell us that you've never listened to it on repeat in the wee hours of the morning?" Joe continues, "Right after Tainted Love by Soft Cell?" 

"Woah, tainted love." Travie sings, debating begging Patrick to let him choose that next. 

"Don't touch me please, I cannot stand the way you tease.." Joe adds, looking over at Travie as they share a mutual smile.

Typically, Joe probably wouldn't start singing, but not only are they discussing some major bangers right now that he'll never deny loving, Travie's got such a familiar feeling and captivating voice that it's kind of hard not to want to join in. 

It's like when a song comes on the radio that you love so much and know all the words to (such as Jessie's Girl and Tainted Love), you just have to sing along. Travie's voice is a lot like that. 

And Travie's incredibly fond of the fact that he got Joe's 'I totally don't sing' statement to make an exception. Even if it was just one line. That's the spirit.

"Thought you didn't sing?" Patrick asks sarcastically as he raises an eyebrow, "But what do I know?" he takes a sip of his beer. "I'm just the third wheel on your date."

"Third wheels go play pool by themselves until some handsome stranger calls their bluff." Travie laughs, "You ready, though? Or do you need to listen to the song again to get into the mood?"

"I can pull it up right here." Joe offers, "Really, this bar has excellent reception."

Travie starts taping his fingers on the table to the beginning rhythm of the song being mentioned. "Jessie is a friend..."

Patrick smirks and then looks Travie straight in the eyes. "Got it. Let's go." He's totally got this.

"Knock 'em dead, make your mothers proud." Joe says as they get up and head up to the karaoke stage that has been recently unoccupied. 

Patrick taps on the microphones to assure that they work while Travie selects the song. 

Without accident, that ever-so-familiar tune starts. Patrick hands Travie a microphone with a confident smile- the lyrics are all coming back. It's that much of a banger. 

He's able to immediately adjust into the duo, giving as much heart into it as Travie, a very obvious fan of the song is. 

It isn't bad at all, and infact he does kind of want to 'listen to it on repeat during the wee hours of the morning' as Joe (who's gazing at them with literal hearts swirling over his head as if he's a supportive father at his kid's talent show) said earlier. Maybe even with Joe during their next sloppy, late-night makeout session.

When Patrick woke up, he assumed that Joe regretted it- of course. People always regret things when they're drunk.

But when he realized that a cutesy little note took Joe's place in his bed that morning, Patrick's sudden onset panic was completely put to rest as he read over it. 

The fact that he took the time to write a note rather than just leave a text really said a lot about how much he probably cares about him.

There's no doubt in Patrick's mind that Joe cares about him though- there's so much proof supporting that. He still hopes that such is appliable to vice versa. 

The note is actually in his pocket right now, and he intends on maybe framing it or something... Okay, not framing it, but he does want to keep it. It's special. 

Once the lyrical counterpart to Jessie's Girl ends, Patrick and Travie stand in the glow of the bar while the little closing ditty fades out. 

Their audience (which is still only Joe) is going off. They even get a standing ovation, something that they greatly appreciate as they bounce off of the stage.

"You guys really fuckin' killed it." Joe says as Patrick wraps his arms around him. 

"Like you had any doubts?" Travie asks with a smirk as he returns to his seat, "Thanks, man, Patrick and I would go professional if we could let go of our day jobs."

"Don't see that happening any time soon." Patrick laughs before returning to his seat as well.

"Not to mention that you look really hot in a lab coat." Joe says, sliding back into his seat and then leaning across the table towards Patrick.

"Shit, watch out! You two really have some kind of hot romance going on, don't you?" Travie remarks.

"Yeah," Patrick laughs, "we totally fucked last night." 

No, of course they didn't- they only made out and then fell asleep in the middle of that, even, but it sure is funny to try to get a stir out of his friends by saying that. 

He doensn't fool Travie, though.

"Right." Travie says, "Pete said that you guys got wasted and fell asleep."

"It's the fact that we're together that counts." Patrick smiles, leaning in and leaving a soft kiss on Joe's cheek.

"Cute." Travie states. "I hope you give eachother the happiness you both deserve." 

"Thanks." Joe says, returning a kiss on Patrick's cheek.


	17. seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my mind has been everywhere lately haha sorry about that, but the story's going to pick up again soon :)

"Hungover again?" Mark asks as he hears his oldest son drag himself down stairs in a slow, quiet manner in contrast to the way he usually bounces out, especially when he's headed off to work like he is as of current.

"You've got me." Joe replies, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Two nights in a row, I've gotta' fuckin' stop."

"You better. Alcoholism is more fun when it's the only addiction you have, unlike you." Mark states rather ominously as he takes a sip of coffee.

"What do you mean? I don't have an addiction." Joe replies. He really isn't in the mood for this- between a splitting headache and the fear of being late to work, arguing with his father is the last thing he wants to do right now.

"Don't have an addiction?!" Mark laughs sarcastically, "You're right, you have two. Cigarettes and anxiety pills.. Three if you want to count doctor blondie who's dick you're riding."

Normally, Joe would try to just shrug off his father's snide remarks and go about his way. 

Sure, they love eachother and all- they really have no choice. 

But they're also a lot alike, and that's where they can really clash with eachother, because Joe truly does live up to the fact that he carries his father's first name as his middle initial, and Mark can't help but hate it sometimes because when he sees how some of his worst traits rubbed off on his off his offspring, it's a major reality check that he isn't as great of a person as he would like to be.

Joe's pretty fucking witty, which isn't always bad, but he's also rather dependent on something to give him a sense of identity. For Mark, that was always gambling. Joe tends to stick to something with more substance- like cigarettes and pharmaceuticals.

They also hate admitting that that they're wrong, and are therefore stubborn as 

"He's not a doctor." Joe replies as calmly as humanly possibly, trying his best not to snap- they haven't argued in months, and it should really stay that way. He doesn't like having falling outs with his father- that just makes it awkward as hell on Sam and their mother. "He's a lab technician.. And I'm not addicted to either of those things. I could quit at any minute." 

The cigarettes and the xanax, that is. 

Patrick's a whole different story- he really couldn't quit him even if he tried. He's in too way too deep already, which sounds rather pathetic, but it's true.

"Well, then, why don't you?"

Good question- why doesn't he? Maybe he does need them. Maybe they're really the only things keeping him from breaking because it sure gets harder and harder by the day to keep calm.

"Please do remind me why you went into this profession, again?" Mark continues. 

He makes a point and Joe absolutely cannot stand it. He hates when his father is in the right. He hates it, he hates it.

"You knew what you were getting into, but you don't seem to be able to handle it all that well."

"It's complicated. I'm gonna' be late." Joe says as he slowly shakes his aching head, realizing it's best to just walk away, even if it is leaving his father's point proven. It really doesn't matter right now. There's no telling what this could escelate into if he stays even a second longer and tries to argue. "See ya, I guess." he shrugs as he heads out the door. 

-

"I've gotten drunk two nights in a row, I swear to God my liver is gonna' give out on me." Patrick states as he scrambles around his apartment to find his ID tag.

"Again?" Andy asks, "Dude, what happened?"

Patrick runs a hand through his hair and groans. "Last night we were at the bar with Travie, y'know, I ordered a bottle of beer. No big deal.. So then after that, something posessed me and Joe to just fucking.. Get absolutely wasted, we went down to the liquor store and loitered in an abandonned parking lot."

"That wasn't smart at all." Andy states rather obviously as he takes a swig of almond milk from the carton.

"Really?" Patrick replies sarcastically as he finally locates the lanyard that holds his I.D card and throws it over his neck. "I know. I'm pretty stupid, you know? So, are my scrubs stained?"

Patrick knows that Andy would never lie to him, which is part of why he asked. And while he is a great friend, he'll also be the first to tell Patrick when his ideas or actions aren't neccesarily the best, even if Patrick already knows it. 

Such as getting wasted in an abandonned parking lot.

Andy gives him a quick look-over and then shakes his head.

"Nope. And don't call yourself dumb, okay?"

"Thanks." Patrick sighs. 

"So.." Andy then asks with a smirk, hoping to lift Patrick's spirits. "Was it romantic or anything?" 

"Kind of." Patrick replies, pushing his glasses up. "We just sat there and talked about life."

"Oh, that's always good. Y'know, find out what you're doing next and shit."

"Yeah." Patrick nods, "He says he's considering trauma nursing.. Says he's sick of being in the back of an ambulance and wants to help people in a more stable enviorment. Not sure if that was the schnapps talking or what. Then we made out and went home."

"Eventful." Andy laughs, "I take it that you're very fond of making out with him, huh?"

"Actually? Yes." Patrick replies, "And not just when we're drunk either.. I wanna' make out with him all of the time, but I don't know how he feels about it when we're sober.."

"Then talk to him?" Andy suggests, "It must say something that you came onto this guy so quickly- you've never, ever looked at another man that way.. As far as I know."

"You're right, I haven't." Patrick replies, "And kissing him is so... Different, but... Exciting.."

"And yet, you don't know how he feels?" Andy asks. 

"That's the thing," Patrick replies, "I'm pretty sure that he wants to go further, but I told him to take it slow on me.. And he respects that- our whole relationship is already greatly built on respect."

"That's one of the best virtues you can have in any relationship- romantic or not." Andy says.

"Mhmm." Patrick nods. 

"And... Honesty." Andy then adds, "Your ID is facing the wrong way."

"Shit." Patrick looks down- he did, infact put the lanyard on wrong. "Thanks again, man."

"Any time. You better head on, huh?" 

"God, yeah." Patrick laughs as he grabs his keys off of the coffee table. "Love ya, have a nice day."

"You too!" Andy replies as he watches Patrick shuffle out the door, grabbing his backpack off of the loveseat by the door as he goes.


	18. eighteen

"Is that legal?" Patrick asks, looking down at Joe, who's non-chalantly sitting on the grass bed that borders the emergency room and trauma unit entrances while eating cheese puffs.

"Probably not, but I don't see a sign anywhere." Joe replies. "It's like 9 PM, shouldn't you be at home?"

"I was." Patrick states, "But then I got called back in at 8.." he shrugs. "I'm going home now, though. You?"

"I've actually been off for a while." Joe replies, "But I didn't wanna' stay home, so.."

Patrick raises an eyebrow. "Why so?" he asks, joining him on the grass bed. He couldn't imagine passing up the chance to stay home and take a nap after a long day of work, so what's Joe even doing? Did something happen?

"Got into an argument with my dad." he replies, observing the last cheese puff that he pulls out of the bag. "It was mostly my fault, honestly, and kinda' stemmed from something he said this morning that shouldn't have bothered me."

"So, instead of facing your problems, you sit infront of the hospital and eat cheese puffs?" Patrick asks with a laugh. "Weak."

"What do you do?" Joe asks before putting the last puff in his mouth. 

"Well, I'd definitely try to go own up to whatever I did wrong." Patrick replies, crossing his arms. 

Joe hums as his intuition tells him that something's off- like Patrick's probably just lying to make himself seem more mature than he actually is. 

Not that he's judging or anything, though. It takes a lot of guts to admit you're wrong, that's for sure. "Okay..."

"Fine." Patrick sighs, realizing that Joe has caught on. "I'm a coward too, okay?" he admits, even though he kind of hates it. 

There's a lot of aspects about himself that Patrick wishes he could change on most days, but in the very end, he knows that they also make him who he is, and he's too afraid of changing to really let anything go, the negative traits that come along with included. 

"I usually try to ignore the situation unless there's serious tension." he says, "And.. Even then I'm known to point out how I think I'm in the in the right.." he explains, "Which! I usually am!" his last sentence further proving that it's hard to take him down when he thinks he's right- maybe he and Joe have that in common too.

"Of course you are." the taller man replies with a smirk, "So, I'll take the blame if we ever argue over anything. You'll always be right." 

But, of course, he doesn't plan on arguing with Patrick. Ever. He plans to just smoothly go along with whatever the blonde does or says. Just coast with him.

Patrick smiles and rolls his eyes. "I'll hold you to that, alright?" he challenges before his voice turns serious once again, "But really, though. I understand if you don't feel like facing your dad. It's probably best if you give eachother time to cool off, anyways."

"If you knew my dad like I do, you'd definitely see where I'm coming from." Joe's still quick to defend his own logic, but it is for good reason. Pissing your dad off too much is one of the last things you really want to do when you're thirty-two and still live with him. (not for free, of course, but it's probably not a total walk in the park hearing your middle-aged son crawl home at ass o'clock am.) "You know, I really should get my own place."

"Yeah? Well, unless you want to, I'm not gonna' try to make you focus on it." Patrick assures.

His smile is soft and sincere- always has been, always will. It never fails to make Joe feel completely at peace, even if that peace is only temporary. Whenever Patrick's around, he's cool. (emotionally, not socially, that is.) "Thanks." he says, looking into the other pair of blue eyes. 

"Now, if you don't want to go home quite yet, that's fine, but..." Patrick looks around. "I'd rather we not loiter around here like a couple of delinquents."

Joe can't help but snort and roll his eyes. They really are just a couple of loitering 'delinquents', honestly. "Well, where do you wanna go, then?"

"Follow me home." Patrick smiles. 

"Okay." Joe replies, "But let's please not get drunk tonight 'cause I honestly don't think my head can take another morning of this shit."

Patrick smirks as he stands up. "My whole body agrees."

"And!" Joe adds, following suit, pulling himself to his feet. "I would like to be home before mid-day so I can start laundry."

"Responsibilities." Patrick states, "But yeah, that's all on you.. I do however need you ask you something."

"Oh?" Joe follows Patrick to the parking deck where both of their cars reside. 

"It's kinda personal," Patrick explains, "I'd rather wait until we're at my place to ask you."

-

Patrick would say his question has been answered, and luckily with the answer that he wanted.

"More than you know." Joe replies, not only with words, but with action immediately after Patrick asks him just how 'attracted' to him he would say that he is.

And so much for taking it slow, because Patrick's pinned up against the wall of his bedroom as he realizes that this is not only the answer he got, but the answer that he wanted. 

But 'taking it slow' still isn't completely out the window, because Joe's careful enough not to rush into anything that Patrick doesn't think he's ready for. 

Yet after all, a totally sober yet incredibly hot make-out session is nothing that he isn't ready for, and he was, infact, subconsciously hoping that this is what tonight would lead to.

"Don't let go." he moans, feeling around to turn the light on. 

"Don't plan on it." Joe replies in between kisses.

"Good." Patrick says once he finally gets the light on and right before he begins to persuade Joe into his bed. 

Joe lets him take control- he isn't even going to fight it. The only thing he can really do right now is wrap his arms around the other, dreading the moment they have to come up for air. 

"We have to keep it down 'cause Andy's asleep." Patrick states, shoving Joe across his bed, keeping a grip on him as he swings his left leg over to align his knees with Joe's hips. "Okay?" he pins him down to the mattress, staring into his eyes.

"Mhmm." Joe replies, totally not opposed to Patrick being on top of him.

"Great." Patrick goes back in, asserting himself up against Joe. He can feel so much passion for the man he's on top of in this moment, and if it weren't for the fact that they're both probably beginning to get tired, he'd probably take it on to the next level.

But not tonight.

"I'm dreaming, right?" Joe mutters under his breath.

"Nope." Patrick smiles.

-

"I feel like I can appreciate your beauty better when I'm not under the influence of somethin'." Joe states about an hour later as they're under the covers in the dark and falling asleep. "Cause then I can't lie and say it's the booze, y'know? I'm really falling for you."

"You too." Patrick replies. "You're a sub, right?" he then asks, unable to keep a straight face before he begins to crack up. "Like.. Like, during sex?"

"Yeah." Joe sighs, "Cause if I top, you'll push me off when I start growling."

"Growling?" Patrick asks, his voice raising slightly. "You growl?"

"Like a bear, baby." Joe winks, as if Patrick can see him in the dark. He then follows that statement with a small growling noise.

"Oh, hush." Patrick smiles, turning over to his side and draping an arm across Joe's chest. "I'll let you growl when the time comes, but not right now." he sighs as he closes his eyes. "I know you're leaving in the morning, but could you leave me another note?"

"Of course." Joe replies, "I'll leave you one every time I go."

"Thanks.. It's nice."

"Mhmm.." Joe hums, turning over to face Patrick. 

"Goodnight." Patrick says softly. 

"Goodnight." Joe closes his eyes.

"I love you." Patrick whispers, hoping he made the right move there- he probably did, but the bout of silence that follows causes him to have doubts. What he doesn't see, though, is Joe smiling like a complete dork before bringing himself to reply.

"I love you too."


	19. nineteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't read back over this after writing it 'cause I've been pretty busy but still inspired to keep on with this story, so watch out for any spelling mistakes or whatnot haha

Patrick,

I know I said I was 'falling for you', but to tell you the truth; I alreay fell and busted my lip twice. Maybe my nose too. I don't pay attention to my face much anymore.

I'm not good with words, so I wrote this down. You wanted another note anyways. Hope you don't mind that I used the pen on your nightstand. 

When I'm not with you, I'm thinking about you. Your soft smile, your laugh, your eyes, you know. The works.. And it's easy to be myself with you. It's easy to open up to you. I want to make you feel the same. I hope I've succeeded so far. Even if I haven't, I hope that you find someone who does. You really don't have to stick around if you don't feel it, but hearing you say 'I love you' first last night felt so great. Just know that. Even if you didn't mean it.

((I hope you do))

If so, then I would follow you through the eye of the storm. I'll keep you warm on cold nights, I'll... Do whatever it is that you need me to do. Just say it. I'll be there.

I'm probably just filling up this piece of paper, but it's better than rambling on, isn't it? Atleast, I think so.

I just really want you to know that you mean a lot to me. I don't just keep you around to pass the time or whatever. Please don't ever think that for a moment.

((But it's okay if you use me to pass the time. As long as I get to be with you.))

And everyone was right. I am a sucker, a sap, whatever else you can think to call me. But I don't care.

I want everyone, especially you, to know that I love you.

There. I said it. And I hope I get the chance to say it a billion times more before you get tired of me.

I love you. ~ Joe

-

It nearly takes up an entire piece of paper and it's held down by the pen it was written by. The handwriting is far from 'fancy' or 'extra', but it's easy to read and to Patrick, who swears that he's going to start tearing up as he reads it, that's all that matters.

Joe must've left over an hour ago. The spot he occupied in Patrick's bed has lost it's physical warmth, but Patrick can still feel his comforting presence in the room, channeled through a simple letter.

It's so cliche, both of them know that. And maybe that's what makes it so special, the fact that they're starting to act like couples in shitty romance films. 

Patrick isn't fond of the hint of uncertainy in the letter, but he can definitely understand how Joe could feel that way even if Patrick's never given a reason for him to. He's so caught up in looking over it again and again that he almost forgets the reason he woke up- his phone ringing. 

Once he's able to put the note down, he finally does get around to picking up the phone and call his sister back. As it rings, Patrick can't help but feel a little guilty for not keeping in touch with his siblings more. He should definitely start doing that.

"Hey, Karen, sorry I missed you.. I, uh, worked pretty late last night." he apologizes once she answers. He isn't lying, but that isn't the actual reason he stayed up so late. 

"Not a problem!" she replies, "I get how that is." Out of the three, Karen has always been the calmest. She had to keep cool as a child considering that she had not only one, but two rowdy little brothers to keep up with. That patience really comes in handy these days, though, since she's been a single mother ever since her kids' father just walked straight out on them right ater Kiera's birth. 

Now, Karen could easily trace her ex back down to let Jason, Patrick and their father mercilessly beat the shit out of him- she's a private investigator. It's what she does.

But, she won't. She doesn't want to stir up old memories, and besides, it's not like Effie would benefit from it anyways- he was a horrible father who never paid her any attention, and Karen deeply regrets chosing him of all people to become the father of her children.

But that's okay- she gets by on her own. Always has, always will. It just hurts sometimes in retrospect.

But Effie and Kiera are fine. They're great, really. They already know they can always depend on their mother, grandparents, uncles and aunt. Forget their dad, honestly.

And they're more than thrilled to know that they have a cousin on the way- all they can talk about is finally having another kid to play with at family gatherings.

"How's it going?" he asks.

"A little hectic for the most part," she replies with a soft laugh, "but no, it's really going pretty okay right now. Effie and Kiera are taking naps, so I thought I'd take the time to catch up.. If you have the time, that is... And I'm sorry if I woke you."

"Nah," Patrick replies, "It's actually a good thing you did wake me up." he eyes the note infront of him and smiles. 

"Really?" Karen scoffs, "You used to bitch at everyone in a 10 mile radius if you someone woke you up." 

"I did not bitch!" Patrick argues.

"Let me rephrase that.." she sighs, "You bit heads off of-"

"Okay!" Patrick laughs, "Fine, fine.."

"Do you have to go into work?" she asks. "Or.. Is it your boyfriend?"

"Excuse me?!" he raises his voice slightly.

How does she know? Oh, wait..

"You heard me. Mom told me everything about you and your co-worker." she says, "I'm happy for you, though. I'm glad you found yourself out and all. But remember that even if I'm only 5'2, if he ever hurts you, Ricky..." She trails off, knowing that he can predict her exact next words- the same words that Jason used when her ex left her.

"....You'll have him in the ground." Patrick replies, jokingly rolling his eyes. He knows that she would, but he also doesn't think she'll ever have to. If anything, he's scared that he's going to hurt Joe. But he tries not to worry about that for right now. "Got it." 

"Good." she smiles, spinning around in her chair. "So, which is it?

"The boyfriend." Patrick admits. It feels weird saying 'boyfriend' when referring to his own romantic partner, but he'll get used to that. "He left me a letter.."

"Aw!" Karen gushes while managing to keep it down as not to wake her sleeping daughter. She's almost like the annoying sibling that Patrick used to be. But being a P.I and all, it's in her nature to be nosy about everything, and while she hasn't had an interest in dating in the three years since Robbie left, she just has to know the details of her friends and families' relationships. "Are you getting serious about this guy?"

"Not yet.. I've never liked another guy this way, so we're taking it slow. He's great, though. I like him a lot." 

"Great idea." Karen replies, "But... Now I kinda' wanna meet him." she states. "And I haven't seen you in a while, either..."

"Guilty." Patrick shrugs. "I know, I'm terrible at keeping in touch."

"Yeah, you and me both.. The kids miss you a lot, though.. I've been thinking about visiting, but I never know when you're working." she sighs.

"I miss them too!" Patrick replies, adjusting his glasses. "We gotta' meet up sometime." 

He really does miss hanging out with Effie and Kiera, even if though they can make quite a mess with fingerpaint and glitter, especially all over Patrick's clothes. 

But he doesn't really mind all of that- they're kids. That's what they do.

"If you're not busy Saturday, I'm taking the kids to mom's house." Karen suggests, "And I'm sure she'd like to meet your boyfriend too..."

Patrick sighs and laughs a bit. "Okay, fine. You got me. I'll see if he's off when it gets closer to time... And I'll make sure mom knows we're coming before then."

"Awesome. I mean, if he makes you so happy, then I'd imagine you'd want us to meet him, right?" 

"Of course!" he replies, "Of course I want you guys to meet him, he's the fucking coolest.. He lets me drag him around everywhere, which I kinda' feel bad about, but..."

"Oh, don't." Karen laughs. "I mean, yeah, you probably should, but he's letting you, so take it! Rule number one of dating men- always take advantage of his loyalty."

"Rule number two?" Patrick asks.

"I dunno." Karen shrugs. 

"Thanks." the younger smirks. "But yeah, if mom and Joe are on board, then it's a date."

"Sweet. See you then, huh?"

"Definitely. I'll be there regaurdless." he smiles, "I can't wait to see the kids."

"They can't wait to see you either." she beams. "Hey, maybe we can con dad, Jason and Amber to make appearances."

"So you're getting the whole family out now?" Patrick asks, "I'd love to see them too, though, I mean.."

"Then? Amber and I may or may not have talked about meeting Joe.."

"Really?" 

"What do you expect?" she asks, "You know I'm a private investigator.. And a mother... And an older sister. Being nosy is what we do."

"Guess you're right." Patrick admits.

"Mhmm." she hums before hearing a noise coming from the girls' room. "Okay.. I think the kids are up. Talk to you later?"

"Yeah!" Patrick nods, "I gotta' get up and do shit anyways. Nice talking to you, though."

"You too! Love ya, Rick." 

"Love you too, Karen.. And tell the kids I can't wait to see them."

"Sure thing."

When Karen hangs up, Patrick picks up the note once more, making sure he didn't miss anything on the first three glances over. Something really is special about Joe, and he can't wait to show him off to his family. 

He smiles to himself because he has a feeling that this is going to be great all the way through. more dates, more late nights together, maybe even moving in together if that's where this is heading. 

Joe is his, and he wants everyone to know that. Everyone.


	20. twenty

"Well?" Joe asks as he holds the door open for Patrick, walking him out of their first 'real' date at a rather decent resturaunt complete with a jellyfish tank in the middle of the dining area (which Patrick made several excuses to go look at before and after they ate, of course.) "What did you think?"

Patrick smiles as he realizes that Joe is opening the door from him. He was right, wasn't he? Such a gentleman. "I think it was definitely worth showering and putting on my cleanest pants for." he replies with a smirk. "And I think I'm really gonna' like being the one to always get wooed in this relationship." he then laughs. 

"I'll make sure that happens as often as possible." Joe replies, pulling Patrick closer. "Although, I was scared I'd have to fight a jellyfish for your attention tonight."

Patrick rolls his eyes and kisses Joe to assure him that fighting a literal fish wouldn't be neccesary. "I'd like to see you try." he says once he pulls out of the kiss. "But, jellyfish are spineless.. Your vertebrae is an unfair advantage."

"Who said I have one of those?" Joe asks sarcastically before pulling Patrick into another kiss. 

"Sounds like a personal problem." Patrick jokes before letting himself melt into the kiss, wrapping his arms around the taller man with all of his strength. 

"What do you wanna' do now?" Joe asks after the second kiss, pulling his car keys out of his pocket. "We could catch a movie.. Just tell me what you wanna' see."

"Oh shit, I have to decide on something?" Patrick laughs, trying to rack his brain of any films he's seen trailers for that interest him. However, his train of thought is interrupted once he feels the vibration of his phone about to ring in his back pocket. Sure enough, his ringtone sets off and he brings it up out of his pocket as they begin to walk back to Joe's car.

"It's my brother." he states, his voice reflecting his confusion. Jason almost never calls Patrick. This is like, the second time either of his siblings have called him in the past week alone. What's up with that? 

But he answers it, of course. "Hey?"

"Hey.." the other man's voice is hoarse, it almost sounds like he's been crying. Patrick immediately realizes something's up. "Can I ask you for a huge... Possibly exhausting favor? Are you at work? Busy?"

Patrick blinks and leans up against his boyfriend's car. "It's fine." he replies, "Shoot." Now, at this point, Patrick's already assumed that Jason's having another spat with his wife. It's really nothing new.

There's a sigh on the other end and Patrick swears he can hear Jason take a drag off of a cigarette or something. "Jason?"

"I need you to come pick me up and drop me off at Mike's." he replies, "Amber and I have been fighting... Again. And now she wants me gone... Again. But my car's broke down and I'm sure as hell not going to steal hers."

Patrick's suspicions are confirmed. This happens periodically, and always ends with Jason being kicked out for a night. It's rather childish in Patrick's opinion, even though their relationship really isn't his business. But he does hope that they grow up and make a decision before their actual child is born. Shit. And Jason's even older than him.

And much like every other time this has happened, he just needs a ride to his lowly friend's house to stay for the night because Mike himself has to share his car with his freeloader friends and one of them likely has it occupied tonight.

So, he's going to go get him, of course. Jason's his brother- he can't leave him hanging. Karen has her hands full, their dad's at bingo night, and their mom? She's had it with their constant squabbling. Patrick has too, but... He's still going to pick him up.

But Patrick does feel guilty for cutting his date so short and possibly ruining the chances of getting lucky with Joe, of course.

"Give me about fourty-five." Patrick replies. That should be enough time to wind his date down, get his own car, and drive out to where Jason lives. (or, rather 'lived' now.)

"Thank you so much, Patrick, I'm sorry if I interrupted anything." Jason sighs. "I'm in the front yard, she doesn't even want to look at me right now."Patrick bites his lip and looks over at Joe with a 'I'm so sorry' expression on his face.

Joe raises his head from looking at his phone. 

"You okay?" he asks once Patrick looks over.

"See you." Patrick says to Jason before hanging up and sighing. 

"Patrick?"

"My brother's wife kicked him out and he needs me to pick him up and take him to his friend's house. If you could take me to get my car, I'll make it up to you. I swear."

"Where is he?" Joe asks immediately. "I'll drive you over there, no big deal."

"Really?" Patrick questions. "You'd do that?"

"Well, duh." he replies, "Unless you wanna drive my car."

Patrick shrugs. "Sure. You'll get the chance to meet my brother." he laughs.

"Great." Joe tosses Patrick his keys, to which he hardly manages to catch, partially due to the fact that he's so striken by adoration towards Joe for just going along with the sudden commute addition, partially due to the fact that he's just bad at catching things in general.

"Tank's three-fourths full."

"Uh. Sweet." Patrick says, tuning back into reality before looking on the keyring for the car key. "I love you."

"Love you too." Joe replies, crawling into the passenger seat. "I get to choose the music, though."

Patrick smirks and rolls his eyes as he heads over to the driver's seat. Of course there was a catch. And that catch is having to listen to ZZ Top for atleast fifteen minutes.

"This isn't the first time they've gotten to this point." Patrick states as he closes the door and buckles up. 

"Oh, really?" Joe asks, leaning back in the passenger seat.

"Mhmm." Patrick nods as he sticks the key into the transmission. "It's their hobby at this point. Don't even ask me why they got married, or why they thought having a child was a good idea.." he shrugs, shifting gears and pulling out of the resturaunt parking lot. "Okay, scratch that.. It probably wasn't planned, but last time I heard, they plan on raising the kid together.. But anyways, yeah. He's arrogant, kinda' selfish, really, and Amber originally only started dating him because she thought he was hot, had a nice car, y'know.. Then I guess they fell in love, had their first argument, all of that shit.. Made up, got married, had five more arguments and she got her knocked up."

"So they'll just make up eventually?" Joe inquires, going off of what he's heard.

"Tomorrow." Patrick replies, "They'll be back together by tomorrow. I'll bet you five bucks. But tonight, I gotta' take Jason's sad, stupid ass to stupid Mike's house."

"Stupid Mike?" 

"We do not like Mike. Never tell that to Jason, though. He won't listen."

"Why don't we like Mike?" Joe asks, putting emphasis on the 'we' that Patrick just spat out, as if he's supposed to immediately dislike this 'Mike' character. He may be absolutely lovesick for Patrick, but that doesn't mean he's going to dislike a guy without reason just because Patrick doesn't.

"Fucked Jason over multiple times, cleared his bank account and I'm pretty sure he and Amber have had sex behind Jason's back before, but that's none of my business." Patrick replies.

"Shit." Okay. That's reason enough to approach Mike with caution atleast.

"Right? I'm nice to him, though. That guy could kick my ass if he wanted to."

"I'll kick his ass right back." Joe replies. 

Patrick laughs softly. "This is why I'm smitten with you." he smiles. "Well, that, and.." Patrick looks down at the stering wheel. "Your car is so smooth."

"Isn't it though? I originally got it in summer 2014 'cause it was the cheapest thing I could find while I was working at a volunteer fire station in between paying jobs. I figured I'd get something better once I had enough to trade in, but I fell in love with it." the taller of the two shifts forward and starts playing with the radio. "Oh, and for future reference? It has seat warmers too."

"That's so cool." Patrick's eyes widen. 

"Mhmm." Joe nods, settling on a station- it's some variety station and they're currently airing 'Feel It Still' by Portugal. The Man. It's a pretty good song. "Hey, so, I was looking around at apartments earlier today.."

"So, you mean after over three decades of living with your parents you're just gonna' up and ditch your parents?" Patrick teases.

"I haven't lived with them the whole three decades!" Joe argues, "I've lived on my own before, and a couple of times with roomates. I just always go back to their nest.." he shakes his head. "But yeah, this time I plan on staying out on my own."

"Sorry," Patrick laughs, knowing he's told him this before. "continue."

"Right. So I've been looking online for a while, honestly.. Ever since I knew that this is where my parents wanted to migrate." he shrugs. "I didn't really.. Tell anyone, I guess 'cause every time I went back was because they wanted me to.."

"It's probably nice to have someone with emergency care training around the house."

"I can imagine." Joe blinks. "But I've found a few prospects and I think it's time to just.. Get out on my own again, y'know?"

"Yeah.. That's cool, though. If it's what you wanna do." 

"It really is. I need to get back into my full... I dunno, adult mindset again? Does that make sense?" Joe rubs the bridge of his nose. Working long shifts can really start taking it's toll on your brain in certain aspects.

"Totally." Patrick assures, getting exactly what he means. He can imagine how living with your parents, especially at the age he is now can start getting a little cramped. "I didn't feel like an adult until I actually got my own place that wasn't a college dorm or my mom's house."

"Yeah, exactly! I need to go back to that.. And when I do move out, I want you to know that you're welcome to a spare key, Patrick." Joe states.

"Wait..." the shorter man furrows his brows. "You want me to.. move in with you already?"

Did that come out wrong? It's not exactly what Joe was trying to say. "Oh! No, not until or if you're ever ready!" he corrects.

"Oh!" Duh. Now it clicks. "You're just saying I can drop in whenever?" Patrick laughs. Maybe he's the one getting too ahead now.

"Right!" Joe confirms. He hopes this isn't rushing things too much now.

"Well, thanks! And I'm gonna take advantage of that."

"Good." Joe sighs as he leans back in his seat. "I would never ask you to do something you're uncomfortable with."

"I like that about you, if you didn't already know." Patrick says.

"Yeah? I'm glad.. And I like everything about you." 

"Oh, shut up." Patrick deadpans, or atleast tries to. He can't hide the slight smirk that appears on his lips. "There's gotta be something about me you don't like."

"Okay," Joe replies, "I don't like how you're so mean to me."

Patrick bites his lip. "You want mean? I'll show you mean!" while keeping his left hand on the wheel, he utilizes his right arm to shove the man in the passenger seat.

"Jerk." 

"Thanks."


	21. twenty-one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a job now, so updates are a little slow, maybe sketchy too. But good news! Interesting things are about to happen.

"Thank you so much, Patrick." Jason says as he slides in the backseat. "It really means a lot, honestly."

"Yeah." Patrick shrugs. "No problem." 

"So, did you get a new car?" the older man asks, trying to make small talk. This is probably pretty awkward on everyone involved.

"It's his." Patrick smiles.

Jason blinks. "Wait, you're at that point in this.... I dunno, relationship?" Doubt obviously echoes in his voice and Patrick can tell that Jason isn't too 'comfortable' with the fact that Patrick is in a relationship with another man. He kind of expected it, though. Jason can really be a jerk at times.. Like now.

"Yeah." Joe replies, "We were out together and I figured it'd be easier to just let him pick you up in my car than going back to get his own and coming out here."

"You were out? Like, on a date?"

"Yeah," Patrick replies as slight annoyance grows in his tone. "I was on a date with my boyfriend, which I had to cut short to come pick you up."

"Dude, sorry, I didn't realize I was going to be third-wheeling on your little outing." he shrugs. "I mean, to be fair, you could've told me.."

"Well," Patrick says, his voice raising slightly. "I didn't, so.. Here we are, I guess." He really doesn't want to get snarky, but he's tempted to mention that Jason probably wouldn't have gotten to Mike's house any other way since most of his friends usually have some excuse to not be availible, and Patrick is the only member of his family who isn't completely fed up with his and Amber's constant arguing. Not to mention, he still can't help but feel bad for cutting the date so short when he knew that Joe wanted to do something else before the night was over, no matter how indifferent he seems about the change in plans.

But then again, he seems indifferent to a lot of things. 

"It's just kind of weird seeing Patrick with a man, y'know?" Jason says, leaning over the armrest, looking at Joe. "You must be one hell of a guy to turn Patrick just like that." he snaps his fingers for emphasis. 

"Who says I'm the first man he's ever liked?" Joe speaks up, facing his boyfriend's brother.

"Well, sorry." Jason backs up. "I didn't realize you sucked dick now."

Patrick tightens his grip on the wheel. Just ten more minutes until Mike's. He can do this. "I haven't been." he states calmly.

"Oh, my bad.. Is he sucking your dick?"

"Can we not have a discussion about who's sucking who?" Joe requests, getting annoyed. "I'd appreciate it."

"It's really none of your business, anyway." Patrick shrugs.

"To be fair," Jason starts, "you did kind of incorporate me into your little date." 

"To be fair," Patrick bites back, the annoyance in his voice growing with each breath, "you and Amber really need to grow the fuck up and stop playing these stupid games. What happened to your car, might I ask?" he hisses, expecting a better answer than the one he knows.

"I told you, it's broken down. And Mike's friends-"

"Are freeloaders!" Patrick snaps, "Mike needs to grow a fucking backbone. And you know what? So do you. I can't keep doing this, Jason. What are you guys going to do when your kid is born? Keep this shit up? Your child doesn't deserve that. They had nothing to do with whatever you keep arguing over and never will."

Patrick is seething, Jason's left speechless and Joe would rather stay out of this.

"And you're right. I didn't have to do this, but I fucking did.. Because I give a damn about you.. And I think you might owe it to me- well, both of us, really, to keep your nose out of our relationship. Gossip to your druggie friends about how your brother is, y'know, sucking dick or whatever," Patrick waves his right hand around to put emphasis on how he doesn't care about what Jason does with his life outside of this, "but leave my boyfriend alone... And yes, he is my boyfriend. And I love him." he then states, biting his lip. ".......A lot."

Joe stays quiet throughout the whole thing for the most part, but Patrick putting emphasis on the fact that he loves him persuades him to lean over and kiss the short blonde on the cheek. He doesn't care if Jason's looking at them- what's the worst that could happen? 

It's obvious that Patrick isn't taking anyone's shit tonight- Jason hasn't even been in the car for 10 minutes yet. But he already realizes that keeping his mouth shut would've been the wiser option. "Okay." he replies, "I can do that then." Poking fun at his brother for being gay is a lot less funny when he starts to retaliate, and especially when he's retaliating in favor of the man in the passenger seat. Something tells Jason that he's pretty serious about this. 

The rest of the ride is rather quiet. Patrick kind of wishes he hadn't come on so strong, but he does hope that maybe his words are sinking into that thick scull of Jason's. They really need to grow up before they have this child. And Amber needs to realize that too.

"Thanks, man." Jason says once Patrick parks infront of Mike's. "Can I pay you back tomorrow?"

"Sure." Patrick says, "I mean it is his car.." he looks over at Joe, who shrugs.

"Not a problem." he replies, "I mean, Patrick did the driving..."

"I'll split the cash." Jason says, grabbing his suitcase. "Later, Rick, and it was nice meeting you too, Joe.." he starts to slide out, but stops before he does. "Like, really.. I'm sorry about the dick thing, too." he laughs nervously.

"It really wasn't that bad." Joe smirks, "Hope you work out whatever's going on with your wife."

"Me too, I hope that this is the last serious argument we have 'cause.." he sighs, "Patrick's right. We really need to grow up. I know that. I have for a while.. It really sinks in when someone else tells you." 

"I just want my brother to be happy, and my niece or nephew to have a decent life, y'know?" Patrick says, "I care about you a lot, Jason."

"You too." the older says as he proceeds to get out and head into Mike's.

"Want me to get us out of here?" Joe asks.

"Of course." Patrick replies, unbuckling so they can switch seats. "Are we still-"

Patrick's question about the movie that they were possibly going to see is interrupted by a phone ringing. 

"Again?" he mutters under his breath as Joe answers his phone. 

"Hey." 

"Look man," Nate Novarro, a paramedic under Andromeda says on the other line, "I know you were supposed to be off, but we're kinda short-handed tonight.. And Everding isn't answering his phone, so I really need help right now."

"Emergencies don't take a break." Joe shrugs, "See you in a bit." he hangs up and looks over at Patrick, who sighs. 

Is this payback? He can't complain too much, though. He knew that Joe's schedule would forever be all over the place when they first started getting close. 

"Patrick, my love..." 

"I know." Patrick laughs, "This is payback, isn't it?"

"Maybe." Joe replies, getting out so they can go about switching seats. "Atleast we went to a pretty sick resturaunt, though."

"We gotta' go back!" Patrick laughs as he crawls out too, going around the car. "I already miss the jellyfish."

"Thought so." Joe says, closing the door of the driver's seat as he crawls in and buckles up. "Do you wanna go home, or do you want me to drop you off elsewhere?"

"Home!" Patrick states, matter-of-factly as he buckles up. "If this date's over quicker than expected, I'm using that time to sleep."

"Damn right."


	22. twenty-two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took a day off to accompany my dad during surgery, so here's the next chapter. Quickest update in a while haha  
> [and yes, it will get very interesting soon]

"C',mon, Patrick," Joe half-heartedly whines as Patrick drags him up the hallway leading to his and Andy's apartment, consistently kissing him every little bit apart. "I gotta' be at work.."

"There's always people to save." Patrick laughs, opening his apartment door, not even noticing Andy walking into the livingroom.

"Exactly, like right now." Joe laughs. "I gotta' change into my uniform n' shit, c'mon.."

"Yeah, Patrick, come on." Andy says calmly as he walks into the livingroom, which scares Patrick nearly half to death because he definitely didn't expect Andy to be home right now. 

"Andy!" he squeals, grabbing onto Joe, which catches him off gaurd and nearly causes them to trip backwards over the loveseat. He's able to balance himself (and Patrick) just in time, however. "Wh-what's up?"

"I'm just here." Andy replies with a smirk, regaurding Patrick's jumpy attitiude. "You know.. In my own livingroom?.. Might I ask, though, what are you doing?" he then asks, "I thought you were on a date. Is it over so soon?"

"Not by our own intentions." Joe replies.

"Oh no, what happened?" Andy asks.

"We had to go take my brother to his friend's house." Patrick sighs.

"They're fighting?" Andy knows this routine just as well as Patrick. "Again?" the reddish-brunette crosses his arms.

"Yeah." Patrick rolls his eyes.

"And then, when we got Jason taken care of.. I got called into work." Joe adds. "Which, by the way.."

"I know, I know... Do me a favor, though, would you?"

"Patrick," Joe coos, raising Andy's interest in the other men occupying the livingroom. "I'd do anything for you... I'd slay a dragon for you." he smirks.

"I'll hold you to that." Patrick states. "But, not tonight.. I just want you to stay safe, okay?"

"Stay safe?" Joe scoffs. "I'm fine. Promise. I'll text you when I get there and whenever I go home, alright?"

"Alright. You better. 'Cause Andy will bench-press you if you don't!" 

"I really won't." Andy mouths to Joe, offering a reassuring smile. 

Not that Andy couldn't, though.

"Got it. See you later." he waves goodbye to Andy, who waves back. 

"You too." Andy nods. "Really, though, stay safe, man." 

"I will, I swear." Joe flashes his crossed fingers as he heads out the door. 

"Well, the resturaunt was great." Patrick laughs, "We did get to finish that.. There was a jellyfish tank in the middle of the dining room."

"Oh, then it must've been the best experience you've had." Andy laughs, knowing that Patrick probably looked at the jellyfish more than he did his date.

"It was!" Patrick beams, "And the food was to die for.." Patrick's discussion of his date brings up the memory that Andy was supposed to be going out tonight with a few of their friends. What happened to that? "Hey, weren't you supposed to be out too?" he then inquires.

"Yeah!" Andy replies, "We're going out a little later. We're gonna' catch the new Keanu movie once Seth gets off from work."

"The Whole Truth?" Patrick asks, "I heard it's good."

"I hope so." Andy laughs, "Or we'll never hear the end of it from Pete."

Patrick smirks and rolls his eyes. "Like he'll even watch the movie. You know he's gonna be up against Gabe the whole time."

"Oh, Gabe isn't coming." Andy shrugs, much to Patrick's surprise.

"Wait, really?"

"Yeah. I'm not sure what happened there, but from what I understand they're kinda' on rocky grounds right now."

"I just saw them about a week ago!" Patrick states. He hates the fact that Pete and Gabe could be towards splitsville- they've been together for years! Not to mention, wouldn't that make things awkward in their little unspoken group? Patrick, Andy, Seth, Travie and the rest of their gang are friends with Gabe just as they are Pete. Yikes! 

"They seemed happy, didn't they?" Andy asks, rhetorically. "I dunno'. I'm not gonna ask or anything.."

"Well, no, that's rude..."

"But, if Pete wants to talk about it, I'll catch you up." he assures. "Then, after the movie, we'll probably hit the arcade or something like that. Don't wait up on me."

"Oh, don't worry." Patrick laughs, "I'm not your dad."

Andy scoffs. "Shit, really?" he smirks sarcastically. "I thought you were... Bummer."

"Nope!" Patrick replies, "I could adopt you though, I guess..."

"Oh, please do, sir, I'm just an orphan." Andy exaggerates in a fake British accent similar to that of Tiny Tim's from some adaptions of 'A Christmas Carol'. "I would love a good home!"

"I'll discuss it with my husband." Patrick winks before they both start laughing. 

"I'm really gonna' miss this when you do end up marrying Joe and moving in together." Andy states, kind of jokingly, but kind of seriously once the laughter subsides.

"Who said I was going to marry him and move in with him?" Patrick asks, "Shit, you're rushing this relationship quicker than we are.. But hey," the short blonde leans in. "the possibility of that happening is all the more reason for you to hurry up and make a move in on the girl at the pet shop."

Ah, yes- the 'lovely gothic lady' as Andy puts it who comes in every Thursday to buy something new for her cat. He's never caught her name, but she sure is lovely. He does know a few things about her, however- that they have a similar taste in music, and that they're both vegan. Both of which are great conversation starters, but Andy can never bring himself to make the initiative to start something more... Like, y'know, getting her name or something. He's quite honestly too shy to- but he is rather smitten and comes home talking about her... Every Thursday.

"She probably has a boyfriend.." Andy replies, "Or a girlfriend." he shrugs. 

"Look, I'm probably the worst wingman imaginable..." Patrick trails off.

"You really are." Andy states. "I mean, no offense, but remember when you tried to hook Travie up with that chick at the mall?"

"Don't remind me." Patrick bites his lip and laughs softly in embarassment. If he can remember right, his attempts to introduce Travie to the girl who ran the hot dog stand at the mall ended with Travie and said girl arguing over who was superior between Hemingway and Poe. "But you gotta' try, atleast.. Come on.."

"Patrick." sighs Andy. "I just.. What if I come off as creepy?" he asks timidly.

"For asking her name?!" Patrick laughs hysterically, "Andy!"

"Okay, hush." the reddish brunette says, as if Patrick hasn't been on his ass about getting her name atleast for the past few weeks. He knows he really should, but he's always been terrible at luck when it comes to trying to advance his relationship with someone he's really, really into. It's probably why he's usually single- can't work up the guts to talk to his latest interest. "I'll ask her Thursday.. Then we'll see where it goes from there."

"You better!" Patrick says, "Or, uh.."

"What are you going to get Joe to do to me?" Andy asks with a smirk, referring to the way Patrick 'volunteered' him out to bench press his boyfriend earlier.

"I'll uhh.. I'll have him lock you up in an ambulance with that girl!" Patrick boasts, totally just pulling something out of his ass. "Got it?"

"Got it." Andy rolls his eyes.


	23. twenty-three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a fill-in chapter that also holds significance to the overall plot of the next chapters/stories within this au? a fill-in chapter that also holds significance to the overall plot to the next chapters/stories within this au! the very interesting stuff starts in the next one.

Patrick's college days are far, far behind him at this point, but sometimes, it's hard to even believe. Where had the time gone? Here he is now- 32 with almost 10 years of lab experience under his belt. Who would believe it? If you ask his parents, who have no concept of time, they'd both tell you that it was just last year when Patrick started training through a Master's program at 22 to persue his first choice as a marine biologist. 

But then the'll also tell you that Patrick fell head-over-heels in love with the concept of general medical laboratory at 23, which caused him to decide on dropping out of that to immediately get on the right course to where he is now. His parents never worried- Patrick seemed to always know exactly what he was doing. Like right then.

After earning an Associate's degree in applied science, he was almost immediately swooped up under the wing of Andromeda's laboratory manager at the time, Connor Holiday, a silver fox who could sense Patrick's potential the second he ran into him at an organized community college event. With Connor's urging and further educating towards Patrick's younger self, he soon found himself running circles around the hospital, securing his place as full-time staff at 25. 

Sometimes certain smells or specimens he'll happen to come across brings him back to his very first day working independently- the first time Connor told him to operate without his assistance. It never fails to make him feel a bit nostalgic.

It's been about a month since the night Patrick curved his date to pick Jason up from his and Amber's house. 

The couple have since then decided to divorce, but share custody of their future child. Not really what Patrick hoped for, but atleast this child won't be exposed to fighting so much this way. Right? Hopefully. 

He's not sure how the divorce process is going, though. It seems like a rather tedious process from what he's seen. Everyone in his family have gone through it- it's like they're doomed. Patrick knows that the best way to avoid divorce is to not get married, obviously, but it's so hard to keep it completely out of his train of thought when it comes to Joe, and it seems to get harder by the day. But he doesn't think he can do that- he really doesn't think that a few years of happiness and bliss is worth all of the trouble that comes at the end. 

But then again, he really shouldn't even be thinking about it right now. He's still pretty young, right? And he definitely has some time infront of him.. But there's also the deal of everyone in the lab and a decent percentage of the other hospital staff knowing about Patrick's relationship with Joe- a majority find it endearing, while others tend to keep their mouth shut around them. It hasn't proposed any major problems.

...Yet, atleast.

But there's also the possibility of moving in with Joe, because within the past month, he's already made a lot of progress in terms of moving out- he's pretty much settled in, actually. 

"Morning, Patrick." Justin Pierre, Andromeda's current laboratory manager says as he walks in on Patrick cleaning equipment. 

There's nothing Justin loves more than seeing his colleagues sterilizing things that they use on a daily basis, and not just because it's his job to make sure everything is running smoothly, but he's also, as the other technicians call him, 'a borderline germophobe'.

"Good morning, Justin." Patrick replies, polishing up the lens of a microscope. "How's your family doing these days?" he then asks- it's been a while since they've really talked to eachother.

"Pretty great!" Justin replies, "We're taking Max to the fair tonight. I think she'll really like it.. Y'know, as long as nothing scares her too much... But then again, if she's anything like her dad..."

"Oh, she'll be fine." Patrick assures, "Keep her near the carousels and those games with the floating ducks.. Oh, and the fun factory is also a good idea! Be sure to take her through that."

"Ah, they have that this year?" Justin inquires, "I haven't been in one since I was a kid myself. But thanks, man. My wife really wants to take her on one of those kiddie rides with the airplanes."

"They have one of those with frogs this year." Patrick states, "I might ride it if it isn't a kiddie ride." he then laughs.

"Oh, when are you going?" Justin asks. 

"Tomorrow night, if all goes well. I'm going on a date with my boyfriend. He seems excited about it." he beams.

"Aw, I hope you have fun." Justin replies, "I take that as a sign that you guys are pretty good?"

"More that good." Patrick laughs, "We're great, really. He just moved into an apartment down the street from where the fairgrounds are, actually."

"Oh, are you going to move in with him?"

"No, no, no! Not yet, anyways. We're still kind of taking it slow, I guess."

"Ah, my bad." Justin smiles. "Well, I gotta get these reports down to Dr.Seaman. I'll see you later, alright?"

"Sure! I need to get these microscopes cleaned up."

"Very much appreciated." with that, Justin heads out as Tony and Carden walk in.

"Hey." Patrick says as he hears his colleagues approach.

"What's up, Stump?" Tony replies.

"Mind if I use some of these?" Carden inquires, pointing to the santization wipes that Patrick's using to clean the equipment.

"Not at all." Patrick slides them over. "I'm done over here, anyways."

"Thanks, man." 

"Not a problem." he smiles. Yeah, Patrick likes his co-workers and all, they're pretty cool- but he doesn't know them that well and he's never thought of giving himself a chance to know them, really, because it seems as if laboratory technicians come and go. He's known so many over the years, almost all of which leave within a few years to persue other laboratories or specialities. He's always thought of himself as content at Andromeda, but sometimes he wonders what else there is in his line of work- bigger, better hospitals, maybe even a specialty like toxicology or virology. He knows he doesn't have to be a generalist all his life.

Sometimes, he even wonders what it would be like to live outside of Chicago. He's always found New York to look rather interesting, from stories he's heard from Pete and Gabe. (who are actually doing okay, by the way.)

But that's not where his home is. 

"It'll all fall into place." he tells himself on the rare occasions he begins to contemplate what he's doing or where he's going next. "Everything will be just fine." But 'fine' is just a state of mind- what if he wants to be better? What if he wants to try his skills at being the manager of a lab one day? What if he really does want to go back and persue marine biology? What if? What if. Where is he going next? 

There's cars and planes and busses and trucks- he could always come back home to his family and friends if he ever found himself missing it. 

Almost two months ago, he fell in love. Yeah, he could say that he's in love with Joe. Atleast now he can. Two months ago someone walked into his life, subconsciously driving Patrick to become a more adventurous person- something he's fond of.. But would he really be willing to leave that behind just to persue something else?

Or is this kind of a ride or die situation? Would Joe really go somewhere else with him? The guy's moved twice within the past few months, does Patrick really want to bring it up?


	24. twenty-four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally present to you.... Chapter 24! Sorry for the delay! I've been adapting to my new job and everything, but I'm getting back on this :)
> 
> ...clap please

"Some of these rides look like safety hazards." Patrick laughs as he strolls through the Cook county fair, holding Joe's hand as he does so.

"Oh, they're all safety hazards." Joe sarcastically assures, referring to how fairs are a travelling thing, and how that high-paced pirate ship ride is going to be packed up on a truck and transported down the interstate to the next city. 

Of course that reminder isn't going to help Patrick's feelings any, and causes his facial expression to turn into a less joyous one than before. "Thanks." he utters, also sarcastically before his attention is caught by something else. 

And boy, is it caught.

"What's up?" Joe inquires, trying to turn his focus onto whatever it could be that Patrick's eye-ing.

"Look at the Vaquitas." Patrick chirps.

"The what now?" Joe asks, totally confused as to what he's talking about. "Is that, like, some kind of Mexican food?"

"No, they're like.. Little porpoises...." Patrick replies, starting to make his way over to the game stand he saw them at. 

Joe follows close behind. 

"..but they're super endangered."

"That's right!" the old man who's currently heading the game pokes in. "There's currently less than 30 in the world as we speak, making them the most endangered species of marine mammals in the world."

"Holy shit." Joe says, "That's... Very few."

"Very." the man replies, "Five bucks gets you five beanbags," he explains, "hit three during a round, or three in a row, and you'll get a stuffed vaquita. Every penny goes towards viva Vaquita, an organization dedicated to raise awareness and aim towards bringing the porpoises out of endangerment."

By time Joe even turns around, Patrick already has a $5 bill out to hand to the man, who slides him the fair amount of beanbags in return. His heart beats just a tad faster as he remembers one of the many reasons he fell in love with Patrick.

"Do you want me to-" he starts to offer.

"No!" Patrick interrupts, tossing a beanbag to prove his point. 

And out of either sheer luck on Patrick's side, or the universe telling Joe to 'shut the fuck up' for not thinking that Patrick could do it, the bag flies directly into a hole. Patrick's eyes light up further as it does so. "Fuck yeah." he whispers before picking up the next. 

"Easy does it." the man smiles before Patrick rings yet another, much to his excitement.

The third beanbag bounces off of the board, and so does the fourth. But Patrick doesn't give up- he can't.. 

Which is a great thing- because the fifth brings him to three holes, and more importantly, a stuffed vaquita.

"Thanks for playing! Have a great night." the man says as he hands Patrick over his sought-after prize.

"You too!" Patrick beams, hugging it tightly before tucking it under his right underarm, taking Joe's hand with the left.

"What next?" Joe asks, smiling as he watches figurative hearts float above Patrick's head over the vaquita. 

"Oh, y'know." he shrugs. "Whatever you want to do."

"That's a terrible question 'cause I depend on you to make decisions."

Patrick smiles and rolls his eyes. "Come on."

"Let's ride something." Joe states. "Like.. Uhh.." he looks around- there's kind of a lot to do. The thing that catches his interest as of current, however, is a claw ride- one that slings you into the air and spins you out. You know the ones. Something that's really going to get his heart beating, something to really kick-start that adrenaline rush that many people lust after at fairs and amusement parks alike. "That!" he chirps, pointing to it.

"Wow." Patrick laughs, a little nervously. "That's a ride."

"Would you rather not, then?" Joe asks before making a final decision.

Patrick bites his lip- what are the chances of dying on that thing? 

But then again, the chances of living must outweigh the ones of dying because if not, they wouldn't have set it up. Right?

...But also, he hears almost every week how someone has died on an amusement park ride or something.

But then contrasting that, truly, what is the worst that could happen? He'll have Joe, who would probably know how to prevent him from being another statistic.

So, why not? He did afterall ask him to chose something that he wanted to do, and Patrick knows Joe well enough to know that he has no fear when it comes to shit like that.

"Well, let's get in line then!" he smiles like a kid. "I'll race you!" with that, he takes off- he's invincible now that he has everything sorted out in his mind.

But a head start doesn't leave Joe in the dust by no means- it's almost a tie once they reach the end of the line.

The unfortunately long line.

People are screaming, of course. That's inevitable. Patrick isn't worried anymore, though, and especially less so as Joe throws his arm around him and the vaquita, pulling them into his embrace.

"What are you gonna name it?" Joe asks.

"Hm." Patrick hums. He hasn't really thought about it. "Your middle name is Mark, isn't it?" he asks.

"Yep. It's also my dad's name, though." he replies, "If you name it that it'll be sitting in your bedroom, watching us while we go at it like the creatures on the discovery channel." he smirks, "Do you really want my dad's spirit to watch us while we-"

"Okay, shut up!" Patrick laughs. "Um.. I like Micah."

"Cute." Joe comments.

"Micah it is, then." he smiles.

"Micah the vaquita has a nice ring to it. Is that after anyone you know?" 

"Not that I can think of," Patrick replies.

"Well, I'll make sure that both you and Micah are secured on this ride." Joe tightens his embrace for emphasis. 

Patrick smiles as a content sigh escapes his lungs. EMTs make great boyfriends, apparently. 

Atleast this one does.

As the line moves along, Patrick holds on tighter. He knows he'll be okay, and he knows that Micah will be secured- but he still doesn't know exactly what this ride is going to do to him. Doubt begins to rear its ugly head.

"Next!" The ride operator calls out.

"You're gonna have to let go." Joe says softly. 

"I know." Patrick nods, proceeding to as they walk up on the deck of the ride.

"We can back out, you know." Joe assures before pulling the security belt up on one of the seats. 

"Hell no." Patrick states firmly as he speeds up his pace.

"Then get on." the taller smiles, almost sounding like he's daring Patrick. (He is.)

Patrick does proceed to crawl into the seat, but before pulling the bar back down he looks at Joe one more time. "I love you."

"Love you too." Joe replies, giving Patrick a kiss on the cheek, despite the nosy kids that they're surrounded by. He then slides himself up onto the seat to Patrick's right and pulls the bar down.

-

Laughing as they attempt to keep themselves standing straight from the brief wave of post-ride dizziness, Patrick and Joe leave the ride with the vaquita still in tow, tucked up under the blonde man's arm, just hanging along. 

"That was pretty awsome." Patrick says as he tightens his grip on Micah.

"It was, wasn't it?" Joe replies, "But I will admit, it seemed a lot scarier when I was younger." he shrugs. "What next?"

"Uhh..." Patrick looks around the fair- there's still so much to do, but luckily the sun hasn't even started to go down yet. "Wanna find something to eat while we think about it?"

"Sounds great, let's go." 

They make their way past the next line and back into the foot traffic of the fairgrounds, determined to get the absolute best out of this date. Hand-in-hand, they stroll down the lane, looking around for which vendor catches their eyes the most. (That is, when they're not throwing a loving glance at eachother.) 

Except, before they do reach that decision, their attention is caught by someone else.

"Trohman! Is that really you?!" a man asks, coming up to them. Confused, Patrick looks up at Joe.

"Last time I checked." he laughs nervously as the man pulls him into a hug.

The man initiating a 'long-time-no-see-bro-hug' is none other than Adam Bishop (Not Lazzara- Bishop.), one of the guys who worked with Joe way, way back when. 

"Last time I saw you, you were blonde, lanky and snuck behind the firetrucks to smoke joints. Look at you now!" Adam playfully punches the man on the arm. "You've got some muscle!"

Patrick continues to observe the interaction- does Joe even know this guy? What's going on? He seems a little nervous about the ordeal. Why's that?

"Muscle? Nah, I just gained weight." he shrugs.

"Are you gonna' introduce me to your friend?" Patrick asks.

"Yeah," Joe replies, "This is Adam.. Bishop, not Lazzara- we worked together when I was an intern at the Westover Jiffy Lube.. And, Bishop, this is Patrick. My boyfriend."

Patrick's mood immediately elevates even higher than it was before when he hears Joe call him his 'boyfriend' to someone. Of course- why wouldn't he? 

But it still feels nice to hear.. And they must be safe being open infront of this guy. 

"Nice to meet you." he offers, holding out his hand.

"The same!" Bishop smiles as he grasps Patrick's hand tightly and shakes it. 

"The hell are you doing in Chicago?" Joe asks, looking at Bishop. 

By the tone of his voice, Patrick begins to wonder if that's just a friendly 'what's up?' question, or if something's wrong with him being here. Something about this conversation is giving Patrick a bad vibe.

"There's so much to do, so much to see." the other man says, motioning to the entirety of the Great Outdoors. "I could ask you the same, though."

"I recently moved here 'cause my parents wanted to see more and I didn't like the thought of being too far away from them."

"Yeah? Well, I hope they're doing good." Bishop throws an arm around Joe, which seems to make him uncomfortable. He doesn't dare try to move, though. He seems to just freeze in place.

And Patrick just really wants to know if Bishop has done something in the past to cause Joe to seem so stiff around him.

"You were so all over the place when I first met you." Bishop laughs, "But hey, I know you've probably matured since then."

"I'd like to think so." Joe says as he slides out from Bishop's arm. "Hey, I hate to cut this meeting up so short, but uhhh... my boyfriend's kinda', like, starving." he states, hoping Patrick won't say something to contrast his excuse. He did suggest finding food after all.

"Yeah, totally." Patrick backs up, grabbing Joe's arm, doing everything in his power to get him out of this apparently awkward situation. "Like, I swear I could eat you!" he laughs. 

"That's fine." Bishop throws a playful, weak punch to Joe's arm. "See you around, then! Don't be a stranger." 

"Alright." Joe turns to start leading Patrick back through the vendor area of the fair. "Later, man." 

Before Patrick realizes it, Joe is practically dragging him. Once they're far enough away from Bishop, he manages to stop Joe in his tracks.

"Hey, what's up?" Patrick asks. 

"What?"

"Like.. You didn't seem so happy to see Bishop." 

Joe shrugs. "Really? He's just an old friend. No big deal."

Patrick sighs. "Look, I know you've dated other people before me. Come on, we're in our thirties, I'd be shocked if you haven't!"

Joe shakes his head with a nervous laugh. "That's not it.. We never dated.. That's not what it was."

"Then what was 'it'?" Patrick raises an eyebrow. "You're freaking me out."

"Nothing. It was nothing, babe." he then offers a quick forehead kiss in a feeble attempt to change Patrick's train of thought. "Let's go get some fries."


	25. twenty-five

"Thanks for staying over, Patrick." Justin smiles late one night.

"No problem." Patrick replies, "I didn't really have much to do anyways."

"Aw really? I'd imagine a young guy like you would wanna go out on a Friday night."

Patrick scoffs- halway because of Justin's humor, but halfway sarcastically because he really did want to go out with his boyfriend who he hasn't really heard from a lot lately. Now, he knows he's jumping to conclusions, but he begins to wonder if Joe's attraction towards him was just a passing crush. 

"I'm 32." he replies in attempt to contrast Justin's statement, "And you're not too much older."

"Yeah, well..." Justin laughs. "See you tomorrow?"

"See you tomorrow!" Patrick replies, taking his labcoat off and hanging it on on a rack. "Same time." he then grabs his backpack and throws one strap over a shoulder before heading out with a wave.

After exiting the lab, he makes his way inside of the clear overpass tunnel that allows walking transit from Andromeda's main building over to the 620 tower beside it. He then looks over at the trauma unit entrance and spots Joe with Adam, who's very enthusiastically laughing about something, complete with actions to go along with whatever he's on about.

Patrick's not close enough to the ground to read their lips, but chances are, Adam's telling a story about his kids or something. 

He can't help but sigh as he looks over at Joe, who's obviously nursing a cup of coffee between his hands. (If that sigh is dreamy or a slight hint of despair, not even Patrick knows, but he can't help but notice that Joe has seemingly become a slightly different person- coincidentally after he ran into Bishop. 

Patrick wishes he could just shrug it off as maybe he's just extra tired lately, but he truly can't- something's off. He feels it. He just hopes that Joe isn't straight-up lying to him. Worst case scenario is that something's seriously wrong with the man he's recently given his entire heart to.

"I love you so much." he whispers, knowing that Joe can't hear him, and also knowing that if anyone can, they probably think he's psycho or something. "Look up if you do, too." obviously, he can't hear him, so of course he isn't going to look up. Patrick knows this and it crosses his mind before he even speaks.

Right?

"And I'm just like.. Keaton! You gotta clean your whole room!" Adam circles his finger around to put emphasis on the word 'whole'. 

"Patrick's staring at us like we're fuckin' crazy or something." Joe states out of nowhere, looking up at the overpass. Maybe Patrick was wrong. 

"Yeah, well we are." Adam flicks his wrist and the nurse, William laughs. 

Patrick's eyes widen once he realizes that Joe is infact looking up at him. Maybe it's a sign.

Of course it's a sign- he loves him. 

Before Joe can even wave, he speeds down the hallway to take an elevator down and go out to meet him. Maybe he's lucky and this is his last drop-off before he clocks out.

Now, a couple of radiologists are looking at him like he's crazy as he races time down the hallway.

Maybe he is.

But that isn't his fault, of course! It's justified- because his oh so cold and distant boyfriend hasn't made a lot of time with him lately and he's incredibly deprived of attention.

"Hi." Patrick laughs nervously to the radiologists before taking off to the elevator.

Bottom floor.

ER.

It's the middle of the day, so many situations that often occupy the emergency room during late hours are being taken care of at the main unit- resulting in less people to stare at him as he treks over to the exit.

Joe's back is turned towards him as he continues to engage in conversation with Adam and William. This gives Patrick the perfect opportunity to sneak up on him- provided that Adam nor William say anything.

Which, luckily, they don't, even though they both see him, very obviously snaking behind the taller man.

Patrick's never done this before, come to think of it- which leads him to wonder if he should catch Joe's attention by kissing him, attempting to scare him, or just simply wrapping his arms around him.

He goes for the third option, slipping his arms around Joe's body, causing the EMT to freeze in place without a sound.

"Hey." Patrick says, moving his head to kiss Joe's cheek. Adam's seen them kiss before, and William doesn't give a shit about anything, so it's not like he's risking anything.

"Uhh hey." Joe replies, seemingly a little jumpy as his hands grap onto the arms that are gripped around him.

Patrick can't help but notice that, but he tries to just shrug it off as the fact that he probably surprised him.

"When do you get off?" Patrick then asks with a smile.

"I dunno." Joe replies.

Patrick swears he feels his heart drop as he figures that's all he's getting. 

"Want me to let you know when I do?" Joe then asks.

And just like that, Patrick's fears and anxiety regaurding this whole thing are set aside suddenly- of course he wants to know when Joe gets off- he wants to do something with him, and the fact that he's willing to let him know when he's availible is a sign that he still cares about spending time with the one he's said 'I Love You' to a thousand times. Right?

Of course it is. Duh.

"You know I do." he replies, letting go of his tight grip.

"Done." 

Patrick smiles and kisses Joe again, this time being met with the other's lips instead of just his cheek. "I love you." 

"I love you too." Joe replies without missing a beat.

How could Patrick be so silly to think that whatever Joe feels for him was just a passing crush or infactuation?

Stupid? Insecure? Maybe a mixture of both. But obviously, Joe still loves him.

"You guys are so cute, when are you getting married?" Adam laughs, rolling his eyes. 

Patrick joins in with the laughter. "September 17th, 2017." he replies in a joking manner. "Right, babe?"

"Oh, yeah, it's decided." Joe replies, throwing an arm around Patrick. "We're gonna' honeymoon, in uhh..."

"New York City." Patrick smiles confidently- he sometimes thinks about it, in all honesty, and he'd like to see New York sometime.

"Sweet." William laughs, "I gotta' get back to my job, but, y'know.. Make sure I get a good seat, alright?"

"Got it." Patrick replies.

"Hey, wait, is there coffee brewed in there?" Adam asks, turning to William.

"Yeah, come on." 

"Sweet." Adam replies, following William back inside of the hospital- unintentionally giving Patrick a good minute alone with Joe; the first one he's had in over a week.

"Did I scare you?" Patrick asks bluntly, referring to the way that his boyfriend froze up when he wrapped his arms around him.

"Nah." Joe shrugs. "Uhh your grip was a little tight, though..." he then admits. "But, like, it was a really nice surprise."

Was it, really? Shit- Patrick hadn't even noticed. He always thought of himself as pretty weak, so it's kind of unexpected that his grip would be too 'tight'. 

"I'm sorry, I just haven't really gotten a lot of time with you lately and-"

"No!" Joe interrupts, "Don't worry about it! It's fine!" Now he feels like he definitely shouldn't have said that, because the last thing he wants is Patrick thinking his affection isn't wanted or appreciated because it isn't that. It isn't that at all- infact, what he's going through has absolutely nothing to do with Patrick.  
Stupid.

In attempts to make everything right, Joe takes Patrick into his arms and kisses his forehead. "We'll do something together when I get off. Promise."

Patrick nods and allows himself to be further abducted into Joe's embrace. 

It's fine. Everything's fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will definitely be a hell of a lot more light-hearted. (Although these past few aren't too dark yet, they are just a little different from the lovey stuff we've seen so far.)


	26. twenty-six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My updates should be a lot more frequent now- as I had to quit work and am now attending an online school with the exception of an hour or two every week at a technical college for a dual enrollment program. As a result, I'll have more time to focus on and better the storyline. I hope you guys are still around <3

"This is Joyce Manor." Patrick states, putting his phone down on the coffee table in Joe's livingroom as Barry Johnson's voice echoes through the speaker. "The song's called Constant Headache, I think it's their most popular." he shrugs. "Do you like it so far?"

"Yeah," Joe replies, his mind seemingly on something else, as it always is. "they're good."

"They just released a new album called 'Cody'." Patrick then adds.

"Cool." 

Patrick wants to say something- anything to find out why exactly Joe isn't paying him the attention that he promised earlier, but what if it comes off as selfish? What if he's just imagining things? 

Sure, his boyfriend is probably tired as hell, but.. that's never stopped him from showering Patrick in affection before, has it?

So, after seconds of awkwardly standing there in silence, he finally decides to say something- but before he does, Joe speaks up first.

"I'm sorry, Patrick, you don't deserve this."

Patrick shrugs. Saying 'something' kind of went down the drain there, because now that he hears someone else mention it, it probably isn't a big deal, and now he feels bad that he seemed to have made a big enough deal for Joe to say something about it. Funny how that works, though, because wasn't his goal to get an answer or something?

"It happens. I'm sure you're tired." he replies non-chalantly, not what he originally had in mind.

"Yeah, but that's kind of not the point." Joe replies immediately, "My mind has been elsewhere for quite a while now, obviously not just tonight, and I'm sorry." He stands up from his current spot on the couch and walks over to Patrick, who's not quite sure what to feel- it's nice to get an apology. It's so, so nice that Joe cares enough to realize what he's doing, but part of him still wonders if it was even a big enough deal. 

"I don't think it's that big of a deal." he says, reflecting his second thoughts.

"Yes it is, Patrick." the taller man insists, pulling the blonde into his embrace. "You even said earlier that we haven't spent enough time together lately, and that's completely my fault. I'm sorry."

"It's not completely your fault." Patrick replies. It probably isn't- Patrick has a life too, and that can definitely get in the way as well.

Of course, not that it was before.

"Well then, the biggest majority of it is. Look, Patrick, I let other things get in the way of us, and I promise it won't happen again. No matter what."

"What are those other things?" Patrick then asks, looking up at Joe. Maybe while they're at it, he could get an answer about Bishop, because he's more than certain at this point that Bishop is one of those 'other things'. "You know you can talk to me, right?"

"Of course I know that, I mean.. You're my boyfriend.. And I'm yours, so I hope that you realize you can talk to me too.. But it's just a lot of stupid work-related stuff, nothing you probably don't know about.. But still, I'm sorry.. You deserve more of my attention that you have been getting lately."

Patrick nods and Joe pulls him closer, continuing to reassure him that this wasn't just some passing crush- his feelings for Patrick are real, and Patrick realizes that. Boy, does he realize that.

"I love you, okay? And from now on, you're my top priority. Just call me whenever you need me and I'm there. Got it?"

"Got it." Patrick replies, beaming as he's surrounded by the safety and comfort that attracted him towards Joe in the beginning. The spark is obviously still there, and it doesn't seem to be going away anytime soon. 

\---

"I can't believe Bella was willing to die for the vampire dick." Patrick states bluntly, an hour later as he and Joe are cuddled up on the couch, watching Twilight's 'Breaking Dawn Part 1' as they share a family sized bag of cheese puffs.

"Really?" Joe asks, "I would."

"Excuse me?" Patrick raises an eyebrow. "I mean, the werewolf, I would understand, but this guy??"

"I think the dad's pretty hot, too." 

Patrick rolls his eyes. "We're going to watch the second part too, right?"

"Well, of course." Joe replies, "I-" before he can finish his sentence, there's an audible knock at the door. Patrick looks over at his boyfriend.

"Expecting company?" he asks.

"Actually, no." Joe replies before getting up, but not without a slight worry that it could be the man from his past who's occupied his mind for a few weeks now. 

But that's stupid, right? How would Bishop know where he lives? 

But on the other hand- he did find his phone number somehow.. And for some reason, Bishop's interested in his company, an interest that lead to nothing good the last time he displayed such affection.

"Wait!" Patrick says, "What if it's a serial killer?"

"A serial killer? Come on." Joe laughs, but quite frankly, he'd rather have the serial killer over Bishop.

"Hey, it could definitely happen."

"Yeah," Joe shrugs, walking over to the door, "but... let's hope not." 

"Who would it be then?" Patrick asks. 

"I dunno.." 

"Just open the door, please!" a voice on the other end echoes- that of a teenage boy. 

"Oh." Patrick recognizes that voice, and of course Joe does too.

"What's wrong?" Joe asks, opening the door to Sam, standing on the other side.

"Can I spend the night here? I'll sleep on the floor, I don't care." the younger pleads, his hands fidgeting.

"Sure?" Joe replies, his concern for his kid brother beginning to grow. "Something wrong?"

"I can't be in that fucking house anymore." he replies, walking in. "And simple as that." 

"Sam." Joe insists, shutting the door. "You gotta' tell me what's wrong. You can't just show up like this without further explanation." 

Sam shrugs. "I-I mean, I just did, right?" this rhetorical question is followed by a fake laugh as the recently bleach-blonde fights against going into a full-on panic attack or something. 

It's incredibly obvious that something or someone has driven him to a state of uneasiness, and Patrick wants to know what's going on just as much as Joe does. He's grown to consider Sam a friend at least, nevermind the fact that he could possibly be his future brother in law. At this point, he doesn't really care about the fact that their date has kind of been post-poned. It happens all the time.

"Did something happen with your parents?" Patrick asks. 

Sam shrugs. "You could say that."

"What was it?" Joe asks, his voice raising slightly, but only slightly in order not to startle his currnetly fragile brother. "What happened? Did-Did they do something to you?" his concern only raises as he's tempted to march straight to their parents' house himself and set whatever this could be straight- the thought of something happening to Sam is bad enough on it's own, but if it turned out to be something done by their parents- the people they were raised to trust and feel the safest around, he can't really garauntee that it would end well for them.

"Dad's on a trip with his friends, so mom took that opportunity to fuck another man." Sam states bluntly, but still in a panicked state, as if something's about to happen to him for saying that.

And suddenly, Patrick feels like he probably shouldn't be here, and probably shouldn't have heard that, but it's too late- the bomb is dropped and the aftermath is silence.

Dead fucking silence.


	27. twenty-seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting dark again, sorry! We'll go back into the lovey stuff soon, and also that very good thing will be happening. There will also be something very bad to happen towards the end, though. Please let me know how this turned out?? <3

"Man I fucking hate this Interstate in the morning." Joe states, slowing down the ambulance as he's caught behind a long line of traffic after dropping off a transfer patient. "I propose an idea for a new drinking game where we take a shot each time this dumbass in front of us slams the breaks unexpectedly." he huffs, figuring that it's probably just an inexperienced driver who probably shouldn't be on an interstate like this.

"The only thing I'm taking shots of is liquid benadryl." Adam replies with a slight groan, briefly looking up from his game of candy crush to see how bad the traffic has gotten. It's pretty bad- just like the pollen count clogging his brain and nasal cavity. "Play us some music or something." he then insists, "We're going to be here for a while and it'll probably be just as bad on Cabrini boulevard."

"If there's anything I've learned, it's that Chicago has more traffic than all of Ohio put together." Joe states, pulling his phone out of his front shirt pocket. "What are we feeling today?"

"Play Despacito." Adam jokes.

"I meant, like, genre." Joe says, "I can't play music on demand anymore because I had to choose between Spotify and my power bill." 

Adam raises an eyebrow at his partner's statement. "Spotify's only like 5 dollars a month though?"

"Yeah, exactly." Joe replies with a shrug. 

Adam sits there in confusion for a minute, trying to piece together why $5 is such an absurd amount for Joe. 

But, then it hits him.

"Oh!" Adam yells "It's 'cause you spend all of your extra money on Patrick, isn't it?" 

Joe can't help but sigh a little- here he goes again. Adam can be such a jerk when it comes to teasing him about Patrick, if that's not obvious. He partially assumes it comes from his cockiness of knowing that they were into each other before they even did, but honestly, Joe knows the truth by now- that's just the way Adam is. A cocky asshole. 

But you'd think he'd get bored of teasing him after a while, wouldn't he?

"So what?" Joe asks, expecting it to end this conversation, but it only challenges Adam.

"So what?" Adam mocks, "I'm not saying it's a totally bad thing. It's just that you're a huge sucker and I'm concerned that it could get in the way of your job."

"How?" Joe then inquires. What Adam just said kind of makes no sense to him- how could Patrick get in the way of his job? They don't really work together. And they hardly interact on their jobs anymore unless they actively seek each other because the ambulance company has started to buy their own cleaning shit. "Patrick works in a lab. I'm all over the place, we're rarely in the same area, man."

"I mean, like, if he called you, or you guys were fighting or something. Indirect shit like that.." Adam shrugs, "When my wife and I would argue back when we were dating, my mind was always on that. I zoned out a lot when I wasn't supposed to."

Of course he has to state that he speaks from experience to sound less like an asshole, but Joe's just caught on by now that he's probably not too awfully fond of him. Perhaps the feeling is mutual. 

"I want to avoid arguing as much as possible." Joe replies while Adam's brought it up, recalling their latest conflict that luckily hasn't quite turned into arguing yet. "Patrick thinks I've been acting weird lately, so I just wanna' keep him happy."

"Weird?" Adam questions, unsure how they would define 'weird'. "Well, is there a reason for that? Does he think you're going behind his back or something?"

"I don't know what he thinks." Joe replies, not realizing he's about to spill his relationship problems to a guy who does nothing but tease him about the relationship its self as he continues to creep onto the next highway exit. "I hope not. 'Cause my mom just cheated on my dad and-" Adam interrupts Joe.

"Excuse me!?" he asks, "Aren't they like, ancient?" 

"Close to it." Joe agrees, appreciating Adam's sense of humor- that is one thing they have in common. "Yeah, she started fucking this lawyer."

"Wack." Adam leans back in his seat. "What makes Patrick think you're being weird, though?" he continues to question, getting a little nosier than originally intended. 

"We ran into this creep from my past. He's still a creep and put his arm around me and shit." 

"Like, murdering someone creep?" Adam asks, intrigued.

"Probably that too." Joe mumbles under his breath, "But no, he's a creep because for some reason, he had some kind of obsession with me back in the early 2000s, and I think still does.." Joe stops himself right there before continuing. Does he really want to share something like this? He can't even bring himself to tell Patrick, so why would he tell Adam? 

"That's scary." Adam states, "But why is this weird to Patrick?" 

"Because I can't get my mind off of Bishop and he doesn't think I'm as interested in him anymore. Probably makes sense he thinks I'm cheating, though 'cause I haven't told him shit about this dude. And that's not even the worst part, 'cause he didn't just stalk me, he-" Joe stops himself right there. He's already over-shared. Why go further? 

Adam's eyes turn on his partner, waiting for him to complete the sentence. They're now on Cabrini, and just as Adam predicted, it's pretty fucking cluttered. There's time.

"What else did he do?" the paramedic questions. "I mean, whatever it was is in the past, so why would Patrick be affected by it?"

"Just because it was in the past doesn't mean he has to know." Joe starts getting defensive, which causes more confusion on Adam's part- that's not what he said. At all. "I don't want him to know that I was ever vulnerable. I'm supposed to protect him. If he finds out that Bishop raped me he would probably think he's the one supposed to protect me and I don't need him to think that."

It kind of goes both ways, really. And realistically, Joe knows that. But he's just not used to needing sympathy- it makes him incredibly uncomfortable. He's always vowed to be the strong one- the one there to help and protect people. And it obviously doesn't change when it comes down to the ones he loves. 

But now he wishes he never said that to Adam. Now he wishes he would've kept his mouth shut. Because nobody really needs to know, now do they?

"And don't start.. Feeling sorry for me or some shit like that either." he then demands, "I don't need it. I could've fought him off, but I didn't."

"Well..." Adam replies, trying his best to not show 'sympathy'. But it's hard- because he does genuinely feel bad that happened to him. It's a serious issue. And sure, it happened years and years ago, but he has a basic enough understanding of trauma to realize that shit sticks with you.

Hell, most of the trauma situations he's responded to have still stuck with him throughout the years, and he wasn't even the one suffering.

"That's fucked up."

Joe shrugs. 

"Do.... Do you ever y'know... Think about it when responding to those kinds of calls?" Adam's reluctant to ask- he really doesn't want to keep pushing Joe about it either, but he also can't help but wonder what crosses his mind when comforting someone who's been affected by something that he has too.

Joe's also reluctant to respond- he doesn't really want to to keep harping on this, but he also realizes he's the one who decided to say it out loud. He keeps his silence for a minute but eventually replies with a monotone "Yeah." He hasn't really felt this bad over what happened in a while, and he just hopes that it's not too obvious. But really, he hates Bishop even worse than he hates what he did to him- if that's possible. 

Silence falls between them- which is one of the things he was trying his fucking hardest to avoid.

Adam seems to have lost interest or whatever by time they get back to the station. Either way, he doesn't say anything else about the topic and instead makes sure he has his car keys on him.

"I'm clocking out." he says. He's worked a 14 hour shift and is definitely ready to take a nap. Not to mention that his seasonal allergies are really kicking his ass. 

"Alright. Feel better soon" Joe replies, turning the engine off. 

He knows he'll still be here for quite a few more hours since Adam was already half-way through his shift when he clocked in. 

But there is one more thing he wants to make sure of before Adam leaves- just one. "Please don't tell anyone what I said, okay?" he asks. "I don't want to seem.. I dunno, damaged or whatever."

"I won't." Adam replies, "I don't see you as damaged, though, and I don't pity you by no means." he assures, "And also.... I'll never bring it up again." he then swears. 

"Thanks." 

"No problem." Adam gets out of the ambulance and starts heading towards the parking deck where he leaves his car.

Joe makes sure to collect his phone and anything else he could've left around the ambulance before crawling out, because he's never sure if he's going to be in the same one on the next call. 

It's 7:30 AM and probably rather uneventful in the ER right now, but he still goes inside to see if anything's going on, because sometimes he does get to help with patients, even if they're not ones that were transferred via ambulance.

And he was serious about what he told Adam- Patrick can't know that he was vulnerable at one point. He doesn't want him to think he's 'damaged' or in need of any pity. 

He's definitely not.


	28. twenty-eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting closer to the end!! I can't pinpoint what number the final chapter will be, but we're definitely over half-way through. Thanks to those who might've enjoyed this fic at one point, or maybe even still do! Your support means a lot to me <3

"You look pretty busy, are you sure I'm not in your way?" Patrick's father, David asks as he sits on one of the couches of Patrick and Andy's shared apartment and watches his son tidy up the coffee table.

"No no no, don't worry about it!" Patrick reassures, "You're fine."

"If you say so.. How have you been doing lately? Anything new?"

"Not really," Patrick laughs, "I mean, the flu is in season and the hospital has trouble keeping lab workers, but other than that, I'm just the same."

"I imagine that's got you swamped, huh?" David asks.

"Oh yeah...Oh! The coffee!" Patrick's train of thought is lost once he remembers something else on his agenda, but David grabs his arm before he takes off.

"Sit down, I can handle that." he says, gesturing for Patrick to sit down. "You look tired."

"Just a little." he laughs, watching the older man go into the kitchen and pull two coffee mugs out of his cabinet. "But how are you?"

"I can't complain." he admits, pouring the coffee. "This semester has went by pretty great," - David's a music professor at the local community college, as he has been for over a decade now. "I just hope the next is just as easy."

"Oh, yeah?" Patrick leans back on the couch. "That's nice."

"Yeah, and I recently paid off the Chevelle." he then states, stirring creamer into the coffees.

"Congratulations! That means she's all yours?" 

"Yep." David replies, walking back over to the livingroom with the coffee. 

"What else?" Patrick questions with a smirk, "Any special girls in your life?" Though it's mostly a joke, Patrick does often wonder if his dad is 'out there' or not. Just innocent curiosity, really. He deserves to be happy.

David lets out a short laugh as he hands Patrick his cup of coffee. "Trust me, I stopped caring years ago." he says. "Talking to ladies is hard as hell for me, always has been." he takes a sip of his own coffee before returning the smug expression to his son. "What about you? How's your relationship?"

"Well, we're still together." Patrick replies in a seemingly monotone voice, taking the coffee under his nose. 

"We're still together?" his father questions, as he definitely expected atleast a little more from Patrick, who tends not to shut up about something or someone that he's incredibly fond of. "Patrick, you know you don't have to put a cap on your relationship just because you're dating another man now, right?"

"Yeah, of course." Patrick reassures, "I'm not trying to do that, it's just that nothing's really different." he shrugs, "I still spend the night at his house, we still buy eachother shit, our pupils still dilate when we look at eachother.." he laughs, "And... Shit still gets in the way of our dates."

"So, that's it?" David raises an eyebrow as he takes another sip of coffee. "That's why your response was less than enthusiastic?"

"Guess so." Patrick shrugs, "It's just.. It's either work or family. Like that night with Jason, or when one of us is called in, or like the other night his brother showed up at the door 'cause there's drama with their parents." he takes a deep swig of coffee to wake himself up more. "And besides that, I feel like he isn't telling me something.."

"That's a little hectic.. But what do you think he's hiding?" 

"I don't know. Probably nothing important, but I hate not knowing things." 

"Yeah, I get that." David agrees, "But if you don't think it's important, try not to let it bother you." 

"But I already have, and I can't help but feel like something's wrong." Patrick's aware that he contradicts himself. 

"Then... It probably is important, huh?" he raises an eyebrow. 

"I don't know!" Patrick admits, "Lately, I've been... I don't know, paranoid I guess?" he shakes his head, "And not just about Joe, but kind of just.... Everything."

"Like what?" David asks, listening closely out of concern. "Do you wanna talk about that?"

"Well, I mean, it's like.. If I'm at work, I feel like the lab is gonna blow up, if I'm like, in bed or something, I'm suddenly scared of getting murdered.. It's shit like that.." Patrick shrugs, taking another drink out of the mug. "I haven't really told anyone since I don't want to make it a bigger deal than it really is, but then again, it's getting worse and I'm starting to freak out." he sighs. 

"How long has it been going on?"

Patrick closes his eyes and tries to think back for a second- luckily, his memory is decent enough to be able to vaguely pinpoint atleast. "Since early last month." he replies. "Uh, yeah.. Since then." he then confirms, nodding slightly.

"Well.." David replies, "I can't force you to do anything. You're a grown man... A very smart and reliable grown man at that. I'm incredibly proud of who you've become, Patrick, don't ever doubt that for a minute." he assures, "But as a parent, I think I would definitely feel better if you went ahead and got that looked at or checked out." he states, "If it affects your life, and has been going on for a while, I think it is worth finding out more about." 

"You're right," he agrees. "I just.. I want to talk to Joe about this a little 'cause I have been a little halty-ish or whatever around him, and I wanna clarify that it's not really his fault."

"That's between you two." David states, "But I think that is a good idea.. Trust is important in a relationship."

"So I've heard." Patrick says, "Andy said something similar to that once, and I totally agree. I think it's important for any kind of relationship, not just romantic."

"You're right, you're definitely right there.. But who am I to offer advice on relationships?" he laughs. It's kind of nice for Patrick to understand that both of his parents have moved on from whatever grudges they might have had for eachother way back when, but he does often wonder- who made the final decision? He was just a little kid when all of that happened, there's no way he could've understood what was really going on back then.

"Well, I think you're pretty decent at father-child relationships." Patrick says.


	29. twenty-nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BTW- i did delete a chapter that felt kind of irrelevant, so this is an update!!! [yay!] we're still getting closer to the end, I suspect that it'll be somewhere in the thirties or fourties where we stop this fic, but IDK if you guys will be ready for what happens.

"I don't see any signs of the suspected virus," Patrick explains to an ER doctor as he reads off a lab report and a few notes he took himself, "but I did notice that her rbc is a little low." he then states, "Do with that what you will." he takes the papers out of the folder they were in and hands them over to the doctor, knowing that's as far as he goes with this process. 

(Not that it's a problem, really. Despite all of the friends he has, he enjoys the part of his job that means he gets to mind his own business and stay in his own corner of the world- it gives him time to reflect.. Well, usually. Lately things haven't been so peaceful, as he mentioned before.)

"Thanks, Patrick, I'll bring that up to her." Dr.Williams replies. "I'll let you know if more tests are needed, alright?"

Patrick nods, but then remembers that he probably won't be here much longer since it's nearing his clock-out. "Oh, uh, I'm sorry, it'll probably be someone else." he laughs, "I'm about to go home."

"Ugh. Lucky." she laughs, "See you around, though. Thanks." she heads off to her patient's room, leaving Patrick standing in the middle of the lobby. He opens up the folder that he keeps his reports in and goes over the other papers inside, making sure that all he has left are copies, and not any new ones he needs to get to doctors before he can leave. Just double-checking.

His eyes go over one from last week- he considers going ahead and throwing it out, since if it were neccesary for anything, it would've been a few days ago. He really doesn't even know why he keeps these copies- why is it his place? 

As he slides it out of the left pocket and slips it into the right, a couple of arms appear infront of him and wrap around his torso. His immediate thought goes to either he's being kidnapped, or he's started hallucinating at this point, causing him to jump back, drop his folder, and elbow the person behind him as an act of defense.

"Did I scare you?"

"Yes!" Patrick replies, turning around and staring at Joe- the person who's arms were wrapped around him. The person who snuck up on him. "Don't ever do that again!" he raises his voice slightly as he starts picking up the papers that fell out of the folder when he dropped them and putting them back in. "I could've like, hurt you or something."

"You're incapable of hurting me." Joe replies with a shrug.

"Don't say that." Patrick replies almost immediately, "It could happen one day."

"I don't think it will." Joe argues, "But, hey, don't worry about it. I'm sorry that I scared you like that. It was definitely stupid for me to sneak up on you."

Patrick straightens his folder and tucks it under his arm. "So, what's up?" he asks, "Did my dad send you to check on me?" 

"No?" he raises an eyebrow, completely taken off gaurd as to why David would have anything to do with this. "I was wondering if you wanted to get lunch or something whenever you got off." he replies, " I just wanted to spend time with you, nothing to do with your dad."

"Oh." Patrick blinks. That's really it- no tricks or anything. Why would he think otherwise? "Well, I'm clocking out now, so let me just take this folder back to the lab and we can head out." he replies. "Where did you have in mind?" 

"Um, what about that cafe we went to when we first met?" Joe suggests, as he forgot the name and hopes that Patrick could remember. "Charlies? Connie's?"

"Kelly's." Patrick corrects as he walks up the hallway to the elevator to the lab, Joe following close behind. 

"Yeah, Kelly's." he nods, following him onto the elevator. "I've been thinking about that place. A lot."

"Sounds good." Patrick punches in the number of the floor as Joe leans against the wall of it. 

"Good. 'Cause I think we should spend as much time together as possible.. Like, make a better effort to-,"

Patrick nods, seemingly interested in what Joe's going on about, but his mind is really elsewhere. The entire trip in the elevator and all the way to walking into the lab and placing the folder where it should be, his head just isn't focused on Joe, as bad as that may sound. He's saying something, and Patrick recognizes that, he just doesn't comprehend what he's saying for a few minutes. 

Once they go back to the elevator, it's obvious to Joe that Patrick hasn't caught a word he's said and slams the metaphorical breaks on it. "Are you okay?" he then asks, pressing the button to head back down to the ER.

"Yeah, totally." Patrick replies, his interest suddenly turning over to Joe. "I'm great, why?"

"Did.. Did you catch a word of what I just said?"

"No, sorry, I was thinking about something else." he admits, feeling kind of bad. It could have been important or something. "Um, what was it?" he then asks, hoping to get a brief recap of the past five minutes. "Something up?" 

Joe shakes his head, seemingly shrugging it off. Patrick isn't sure if that's good or bad until he moves closer and pulls him into his embrace, softly kissing him as the elevator doors open. "Just.. Just that I love you."

"I love you too." Patrick replies as Joe pulls away, but keeps his arm around him as they walk out of the elevator. 

=========================

Patrick usually feels safe when he's with Joe- especially when he's in his embrace, but there's also a sense of security just sitting across from a diner table, talking to him about anything and everything. It's nice, and he can't say they've had a date this raw and open in such a long time. He feels like he could tell Joe anything in this moment- something he hasn't really felt the ability to in such a long time for some reason. 

Is it Joe? Has something changed with him? For the couple few weeks, it seemed like he's been the one looking behind his shoulder, but maybe it was just the other way around. 

Geez- Patrick's always had a little bit of anxiety, but it was never like this.

Or, atleast how it has been. It's not really there in this exact moment as he can feel himself falling in love all over again with the man on the other side of the table, laughing at something he said that wouldn't be funny to anyone except for them specifically. Just a little inside joke. "Are you done?" he finally manages to ask, trying his best not to burst into laughter as well.

Joe covers his face and replies with a hardly audible "Maybe." before Patrick uncovers it, taking both of his hands into his own. 

"I missed this." he states, "I think you know what I mean."

Of course he knows what he means- it feels the exact same way it did when they first got together, maybe even better. Joe blames it on the diner- triggering back very fond memories of when their paths first met. "Where did it go?" he asks softly, tilting his head. Seriously, where did it go?

"I want to apologize." Patrick then says, letting go of his boyfriend's hands. 

"What do you mean apologize? You have no reason to do that." 

"But I do." he insists, "I do have a reason to apologize.. I've been clingy and kind of weird lately.. Don't say you haven't noticed." he knows that he must have noticed something- he's had to have. "And then when you came up to me today, I freaked out on you." Patrick sighs. 

"I figured that was my fault 'cause I've been busy lately." Joe replies, "It's definitely my fault, really." he insists, "And you definitely had a point about the sneaking up.. I probably shouldn't have.. So, please don't say that you're sorry or anything 'cause it isn't your fault."

Patrick sighs. This is the one quirk that they do have in their relationship- never knowing who should be sorry. "Let's just agree to pay more attention to eachother." he then suggests, "And, just, y'know, communicate?"

"That's definitely something I can get behind."


	30. IMPORTANT!

Hi! I'm putting this specific fic to an end, but that's only because I'm re-writing it! I've went over it and decided that I could do better, so that's exactly what I plan to do. Most of the plotlines are still going to stay intact, but there are a few changes. For one, Joe doesn't live with his parents in the beginning, and two, Travie's a mutual friend already. I had so many ideas I could throw in about Patrick's past more, and I also wanted to include more of the others such as Travie, Pete, Gabe, Andy + some others. I hope you understand, and I hope you like the new, updated version which I plan to post as a different work! I'll probably leave this up as a rough draft or something to look at when I need to remember where to go with the story. And uhh let me know what you think too!! [Here's the new version!.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16052876/chapters/37478123) The new title comes from a song exactly titled 'Ambulances' but I can't quite remember the band.


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